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We're making a movie!

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by Archie the Preacher, Jan 28, 2014.

  1. Archie the Preacher

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    It's going to be the whole Bible. Perhaps broken down into several hundred convenient two and one-half hour segments.

    I want casting ideas for various Biblical characters. Since this is a Heavenly production, we can use any actor at any age. I'll start.

    Zacchaeus would be played by Danny DiVito in his thirties.
    Ruth played by Mayim Bialik.

    Any thoughts?
     
  2. thisnumbersdisconnected

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    Apostle Paul played by Marty Feldman
    The Church at Corinth membership played by the Seattle Seahawks, Richard Sherman as pastor
     
  3. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Bathsheba played by Shania Twain.
     
  4. Archie the Preacher

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    Okay... Paul probably had an eye problem it seems... And Mr. Feldman was Jewish I think.

    "I was expecting someone - eh - taller."


    Ooooooo-kay.

    We're going to film the bath scene very carefully, okay?
     
  5. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Adam............... played by Adam Cartright
    Sampson........... played by Hoss Cartright
    Peter................ played by Little Joe Cartright
    Othniel............. played by Pa Cartright
     
  6. thisnumbersdisconnected

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    Wouldn't Sampson be better played by Ahnold Schwarzenegger? :laugh:
     
  7. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Jezebel.........Hillary Clinton
    Ahab.............Bill Clinton
    Herod............Dubya
    Wise men......Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Jerome Howard
    Pharoah in Moses time......Telly Savales
    Nathan........Groucho Marx
    David...........Harpo Marx
    Saul, king.....Manute Bol
     
  8. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Cut! Let's do it again, folks.
     
  9. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    To quote a line from the Cletus T. Judd's song "If Shania was mine"

    "If Shania was mine, I'd probably go slap blind!"
     
  10. Archie the Preacher

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    Convicted...

    I was going to say "Jezebel was described as a very attractive woman".

    But I won't. That would be impolite.
     
  11. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Jacob.....Han Solo
    Esau......Chewbacca
     
  12. thisnumbersdisconnected

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    Ms. Twain: "OK, that's gonna be the 47th take! You don't have a sequence you can use yet, you're just gonna have to do without one!"
     
  13. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    It's an arduous job but somebody has to do it. While we're busy editing outtakes I'll submit my casting choice for Mary Magdalene: Bar Refaeli. :thumbsup:
     
  14. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
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    You can sure pick them...but scratch off the list that Hoffman guy. He is currently indisposed. :(
     
  15. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    He could play Samuel that Saul had the witches of Endor summon. (I Sam 28) Too soon?

    Another casting call: Delilah played by Julie Newmar.

    I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window
    I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind
    She was my woman
    As she decieved me I watched and went out of my mind
    My, my, my, Delilah
    Why, why, why, Delilah?​
     
  16. thisnumbersdisconnected

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    Put a wig on him, he could play the post-mortem Jezebel. You know, after the "fall" from the window.

    Nah, maybe not.
     
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