What does it mean to submit?

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I don't think Paul is setting up a situation that exists in the US Senate where the Vice President gets to cast the deciding vote in a 50-50 split vote. He is dealing with something more intangible than that. A "stalemate" implies a chess game where two people are trying to gain victory over their opponent. If that is the case in a marriage, THAT needs to be dealt with before some insignificant decision.

When my marriage has come to that point , as the head, I am to recognize that and get us to come together. When that happens the decision doesn't seem that important any more. If my wife will not submit to that I usually say that I am going to do things her way and tell her that I trust she has prayerfully considered her position and God is using her to be my helpmeet. If He is things work out. If He isn't, she usually sees that she is trying to "rule over me" and is merely walking in the flesh.

Here is the best advice I give couples: If one person wins both you both lose.

 

Now that is a man on a mission...........:laugh: :laugh: Oh how truthful.

You can always say, when you have to give in, that she is your helpmate, so in the long run, it is your will being done........ She is being submissive, it is just hard to see... Us men always figure a way out, now we are smart people......., when she tells you to run the sweeper, or do the dishes, you can always say "she is my helpmate"......

So, you ladies listen up. You are just being submissive when you tell your husband to take out the garbage, or you say to him "I got a headache". You are not the boss, just a helpmate, you hear!!!

I am going to turn the sweeper off right now! and go tell my wife she is just a "helpmate".........

Man, I am 69 years old, but I am going to use that. I wrote it down for future references!!!!!!!!!!!! No one better say anything to me anymore, about wearing an apron.........

hmmm, Wonder why the Lord told her, to have me sweep the "whole" house?????????

BBob,

 

Great post Bro Bob, I am on my way in to service now but I need to make sure I don't burn the roast I have in the oven. I do just about all the cooking in our house. Helpmate doesn't mean servant and submissive doesn't imply no input.

I came to the realization a long time ago that I am not complete by myself. Being in the ministry further exposes this truth. My bone on bone, flesh on flesh helpmate is truly a gift from God and a reciprocating addition that makes US whole (one). It is also good she can tell me what I need to know but don't want to hear...

It was God himself who said, "it is not good for man to be alone". In case anyone is wondering, this is what I'll be preaching on today.

 

He... he...he...he...he...he...he...he...he...he...he...he...he...

Rather than quote your entire post I thought I would just point out that you mentioned 13 flaws about your man in a 3 minute post. I can't imagine what it is like in your home all day and all week long. You end your post with a raying: face. Rather than praying for God to change your man I think you need to be asking for yourself.

Try encouraging him for a month and focusing on all the good in him (not to manipulate him into what you want him to be, but to help him become what God wants him to be for that is your role in his life). Your honoring and reverencing him is based on his position not his performance. Make him glad to come home to the women he longed for when he first met you. Light the fire of love and passion again and see where things go.

I will post some links again and encourage you to go there. If you can't afford the book let me know and I will get you one. My wife has given out a bunch of them and would get one for you too.

http://www.createdtobehishelpmeet.org/testimonies?id=YZ4iWfQ7

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/marriage-family/husbandwife-relations/

 

I will just repost my previous post. I know sometimes it's not easy, but you must remember, if you are not in submission to your husband...you are not in submission to God

Pray diligently for your husband. God can show him his errors much better than you can.

Appealing to your husband in a submissive manner will get you a lot farther than arguing, nagging or telling him he's wrong.

You may not be able to have your home in order...but you CAN be in order in your home.

 

I would have to pray really hard NOT to have a problem with this and I would be scared too. I sometimes think a man doesn't realize how much security means to a woman and we don't feel safe without it.

This old cliche still works, "Trust in God", but I know where you're coming from because I've been there.

Has your husband always been like this? Has he let money replace relying on God? Have you? Could he be going through a second childhood? Has he been checked out by a doctor lately? Have the two of you sought Godly counsel or gone to your pastor?

I don't know if any of these questions work, I'm just trying to offer some suggestions. I can feel your fear, but please don't let it rob you of your relationship with God.

I went through something very similar and we did end up losing our home, all our good credit, etc. It was very hard. I don't know if it was a 'Job' type situation or not, but I can tell you truthfully, I, like 'Job', have more today than I did back then and I am able to stay home and enjoy it.

Try to hang in there, pray for God to speak to your husband, and get some Godly counsel, if possible.

I will be praying for you.
§ue

 

Sometimes you have to use a little pushing!!



BBob,

 

I COR 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

I can't remember the last time we had enough money for any given month and if I did have it, I'd probably give it away. There is always someone who needs it more than I. My needs are not supplied by my job or bank account therefore I glory in not having for it is then that I get to see the abilities of my provider.

I think you are worrying and focusing on earthly things while letting what matters most slip by. You'll get by. You saved what you had and can do it again. Money comes and goes but LOVE... Now there lies life's true riches... Love will make you content living in a cardboard box and eating from a trashcan. Look at all the invisible people around you doing it everyday.

 

What does submission mean?.....
........well, I think that would be my mom.
Someone said that "Right now, submitting feels like sitting in the back seat praying while my husband, blissfully unaware drives a car with no brakes 100 MPH aimed at a brick wall." I know just how she feels.

Before my dad was saved, there was no living with him. He claimed he was a Christian, but he would beat my mom, he would scream and yell constantly, etc. He'd undo our electricity and water, and then leave for a couple days. He'd even threatened to kill her.
He knew the verses on forgiveness, submission, etc. like no one I've ever seen before, and knew just how the Bible said to react to him. Until, personally, I don't even want to hear about those things.

For my mom, though, none of those things were even the focus. She looked to God as her authority, and submitted to my dad for His sake. To her, my dad wasn't the person she was focusing on. She was focusing on God, and she submitted to the insane authority of my dad because of Him. She didn't give up her convictions, but she would obey him, even if it meant doing something she didn't think was best (for example not going to the church she liked, running up a credit card, etc.). Truthfully, I didn't like it, but I respect her. I honestly don't think I know anyone else who would have done it.
By posting this, I don't mean any disrespect for my dad, either. You can't hold people's past over them. I love both of my parents, and hope this doesn't in any way disrespect them.

 

Excellent post Julie. As hard it as was to write some of this, you have shed light on the topic. I like to say she was letting God be God in her life as well as y our dad's.

I would add that a women can, and possibly should go to the police when her husband is beating her or trying to get her do do something illegal because God has ordained that authority for such men.

 

KNASMOM (Cynthia),

Whew. Thats a tough one. It seems to me to be exceedingly clear that you are in the right...in a HUGE way. In your marriage YOU should be the one in charge of the finances, not him. You are gifted in that area, and he should recognize that.

Your husband is in extreme denial.

I'm sure you are, but continue to PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY for Him.

Pray that God give him enlightenment regarding the situation.

To be honest, your situation is an exact "flip side" of my ex-wife and I.

My ex-wife was a "spendaholic". Spending money was her hobby. She kept us in financial chaos for 9 years. She had thousands of dollars worth of clothes that she never wore. She had thousands of dollars of books that she never read. She continued to add debt on top of debt on top of debt.

We were getting along just fine sharing one car, but she one day said she wanted her own car . More debt of course. (car payments) We had no savings to speak of. I tried to share that, since we were doing fine sharing the one car, we needed to pay it off before getting a 2nd car. She couldnt see the wisdom.

One day while I was asleep a 2nd car was sitting out front when I woke up.

I tried for 9 years to reason with her, and help her to understand. But it went in one ear and out the other. In due time, some of the consequences of her "spendaholicism" began to come upon us.

Finally, she committed divorce.

It might take you guys "hitting rock bottom" for him to come to his senses. Losing the house. Having a car re-po'd. Bankruptcy, etc.

I sure hope not.

Will he go for counseling, with you of course, with your pastor?


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