What Gave Me Last Night...

NO BETTER VISUAL THAN THIS, MY MOST ENLIGHTENED MOMENTS:

Just wanted to share my thoughts again that I received tonight, many times they are while I am in the hot tub...this is also the time I like to pray and talk to God the most. I find it illuminating not only to my mind, but my spirit, and soul. Relaxing as I look up in my natural form, and see the stars that are so bright and numerous, that it makes me look and feel so small, like we are just a bunch of ants that could be squashed at any moment by the “powers that be”…. Which got me thinking about another subject….

GOD’S SOVEREIGNTY AND MANS FREE WILL.

We all have our WHYS…don’t lie, I know you do. WHY LORD… If you are so powerful and so sovereign and in control why do you “allow” so much pain? Why do you “allow” many to come in my life who hurt me, while those who are good and safe have to leave or move away? Why is everything disintegrating before my eyes? I feel like Nebuchadnezzar, is that what you are asking of me?….was I so far gone that you have to take such drastic measures to win me back? If I was, it was because those who bare your name drove me away and I would say that is the work of the evil one. Boy did I learn some things from that, too bad it has hardened me …..Or do you have something “special” in mind that demands my undivided attention? …I’m hoping it is the later, for I could never get TRUTH out of my mind, no matter what I thought, did or how I felt.

So there is the MYSTERY, much like the one of PREDESTINATION, which I would lean more on the side of Calvinism, again like everything else there is a BALANCE and we stupid humans want to pick sides on everything…I say take the moderate approach…I have to or I’d go nuts.

I’m really beginning to see how the whole combination works, not just one or the other… I mentioned this in an earlier post about the forces we deal with daily, and it is the one we (our free will) gives in to. That is where our HEART will be (heart =will) It is a real song and dance that takes a certain kind of finesse to make it consistent and beautiful. And that is in understanding our “FORCES.”

I mentioned God’s will, our own Sin nature, the Devil, a fallen world, and others sin nature. We are in a constant battle to see who will win. God wants to win, sad thing is that we in America give in so easily to our own sin and react to others sin and do not see the evil one for who he is when he is there, we are too idealistic for that. So where do most people’s focus go? I would think on SELF, almost in an overly SELF PROTECTIVE kind of way…not on God and others like Jesus said to do Matt 22:37-39.

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one God picks on this way to draw me back to His will? I know He wants His children to be different, to be Holy and set apart, (that is what Holy means) but boy, is that a very lonely place to be nowadays, as most don’t want that road as it is less traveled, and a long, rocky bumpy one. One reason this journey is so hard is because I don’t “fit” in anywhere and God didn’t mean for us to be alone and churches are not doing their job…anyway, I’m too liberal for the conservatives and too conservative for the liberals…been that way all my life, and I’m talking churches, not politics so much.

The thing is, God knows what we can handle and lucky me I can handle more than most. Which makes the breaking process even tougher. All I know for comfort is that I am promised to be a useful vessel in the hands of the potter and purified as gold a reflection of the one who works within me. So in that sense it is all worth it….Lord help me!

:godisgood:

 

Whoops meant to say, WHAT GOD GAVE ME LAST NIGHT