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What is a billion??

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by Amy.G, Oct 31, 2008.

  1. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

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    What is a BILLION??

    The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

    A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.


    A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

    B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

    C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

    D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

    E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

    While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division

    Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it mean?

    A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.

    B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

    C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

    Washington , D.C .. HELLO!!! ... Are all your calculators broken??




    Accounts Receivable Tax
    Building Permit Tax
    CDL License Tax
    Cigarette Tax
    Corporate Income Tax
    Dog License Tax
    Federal Income Tax
    Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
    Fishing License Tax
    Food License Tax
    Fuel Perm it Tax
    Gasoline Tax
    Hunting License Tax
    Inheritance Tax
    Inventory Tax
    IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),
    IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),
    Liquor Tax,
    Luxury Tax,
    Marriage License Tax, Medicare Tax, < B>
    Property Tax,
    Real Estate Tax,
    Service charge taxes,
    Social Security Tax,
    Road Usage Tax (Truckers),
    Sales Taxes,
    Recreational Vehicle Tax,
    School Tax,
    State Income Tax,
    State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),
    Telephone Federal Excise Tax,
    Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax,
    Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax,
    Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,
    Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,
    Telephone State and Local Tax,
    Telephone Usage Charge Tax,
    Utility Tax,
    Vehicle License Registration Tax,
    Vehicle Sales Tax,
    Watercraft Registration Tax,
    Well Permit Tax,
    Workers Compensation Tax.

    STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
    Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
    and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
    We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

    What happened?..... Can you spell 'politicians ?????'

    And I still have to 'press 1' for English.

    And Now a $750 Billion Bailout
     
  2. Gwen

    Gwen Active Member

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    *ahem*

    I'm not laughing...
     
  3. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

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    No, it's not funny. I probably should have posted it elsewhere.
     
  4. Gwen

    Gwen Active Member

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    It is, sorta.:laugh: Thot provoking for sure!!
     
  5. chuck2336

    chuck2336 Member

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    That is funny. In a tragic sort of way.

    :laugh:
     
  6. Plain Old Bill

    Plain Old Bill New Member

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    Good post Amy G. :thumbs:
     
  7. John3v36

    John3v36 New Member

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    THis is good stuff
    :1_grouphug:
     
  8. David Lamb

    David Lamb Active Member

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    I'm afraid I still tend to think of a billion as a million million, which is what it meant here when I was at school.

    Nowadays, most Brits seem to use "billion" as Americans do, with the meaning of only a thousand million.

    Likewise, a trillion to me is a million million million - 1 followed by 18 zeros.

    One case where things are not bigger in the States! :)
     
  9. Jim1999

    Jim1999 <img src =/Jim1999.jpg>

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    I was taught in school, For every new tax you will live long enough to regret. The same is true of laws!

    I have lived long enough to regret both.

    Cheers,

    Jim

    PS. What did you say that was in Pounds?
     
  10. InTheLight

    InTheLight Well-Known Member

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    A, B, C, and E are incorrect.
     
  11. Tom Butler

    Tom Butler New Member

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    This thread triggered a memory about a story I heard.

    A young man was talking with God. "God, how long is a million years to you?"

    God replied, "Oh, about a minute."

    'Well, how much is a million dollars to you?"

    "Oh, about a dime."

    "Okay, would you give me a dime?"

    "In a minute."
     
  12. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Will we remember all this at election time?
     
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