What would you do if God had no power over you?

Have you ever thought about this?
Imagine God exists but God has no power over you. He cannot send you to hell and you also won't die. If you want to you can simply live on this planet forever.
Would you still try to obey God and ask him for forgiveness every time you sin or would you sooner or later become tired of this and simply tell God to leave you alone and then do your own thing?
Aren't we often motivated simply by fear of punishment? Sometimes all this asking for forgiveness really gets on my nerves because not every time when I ask for forgiveness I really feel sorry. Sometimes I simply do it because I'm scared that if I don't do it God will punish me. For example I don't always feel terrible when I have a sinful thought and then fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness. Such things simply happen and I'm used to it, this means that when this happens I don't feel totally sorry all of a sudden. But when I simply say "God please forgive me" without feeling anything then it's like an automatism.
Do you always feel totally sad when you sin no matter what sin it is? Or are there sins which you register but which don't make you feel totally sad?

I don't know but somehow there is a dissonance. The fact that God also has so much power and that he could punish you makes it hard to not fear him but when you fear him then how can you feel well when you're in heaven? I'm not scared of my father. If I was scared of my father then most likely I would avoid him and try not to make him angry. I would rather sit in my room all day and not even talk to him. Do you know what I mean? But what do you do when you're scared of God who is much more powerful than your own father?

 

But what shall I do? I don't even know what God thinks about me. I have no clue wether he's angry or disappointed or unsatisfied with me. I'm not satisfied with myself and then I feel as if God is up there slowly becoming impatient with me because I'm not making progress and then I become scared of what he might do then. How can I not become scared? God can also become angry. He became angry in the bible, too. Just because Jesus died doesn't mean that he doesn't get angry anymore. Just look at the parable with the lazy servant. The master also got very angry with him. This means that God can also become very angry with me.
It's always the same. When I think I messed up then I feel bad and think that God is angry or disappointed and on days where I think I did well I feel good and think that God is happy. Isn't this stupid? But this is how it is.

Yes, sometimes it really gets on my nerves because it becomes so annoying to ask for forgiveness again and again. Let's say I have 5 sinful thoughts in 1 minute then I ask for forgiveness every few seconds and this really becomes annoying and in the end you're simply repeating something like "God forgive me for having such a thought" in your mind and that's it but you don't feel bad or guilty anymore simply because you don't feel bad whenever you have a sinful thought.
I recognize these thoughts but this doesn't mean that they make me feel totally bad and guilty.
But then I ask myself if I can even ask for forgiveness when I don't feel bad and then I think that I have to make myself feel bad to be able to really ask for forgiveness and sometimes I don't know if I really feel bad enough to sincerely ask for forgiveness or not because if I ask for forgiveness and don't really mean it then it also might not work. But how do I know if I really mean it and not just say it? In order to know that I really mean it I have to feel bad but what do I do if I don't feel bad again or if I have already become desensitized to this sin and don't even feel bad anymore because it happens all the time? Does God have to forgive me if I don't feel bad enough or don't mean it? Then I cannot feel safe even after asking for forgiveness because I can still fear that it might not have worked and God didn't forgive me because I wasn't sincere enough....
I also don't know if we have to directly ask for forgiveness for everything or not. What happens if I have a sinful thought and don't ask for forgiveness?
This becomes so frustrating and sometimes this makes me feel so rebellious. For example when you tell somebody all the time how bad he is then one day he will simply become rebellious and not care anymore and this is how I sometimes feel.
It's also not very liberating. As a christian you're still concerned with things. I think it's not really freedom when you have to worry about asking for forgiveness all the time when you sin. Let's say somebody argues with you and you become angry and you get one angry thought after the other then what do you do? Do you ask for forgiveness for every single thought you have? Maybe I'm also overdoing this, I don't know.
Maybe you can also simply ask for forgiveness at the end of the day for everything you did wrong, I don't know. I don't know I feel bad most of the time. Always feeling bad also doesn't help me. You don't really have much freedom as a christian because when you don't do spiritual exercises such as praying and reading the bible you also feel guilty and you also have to be scared of being left behind. Sometimes I think about it and ask myself where the difference between christianity and other religions is. I mean christians claim to be free and not religious at all but when I look at myself then I'm also not free.

 

Amazing sure instinct.

 

Hi.
Yes, I'm in fact having a bad day. But I have such days all the time. It's simply so frustrating. I wish I had someone in real life to discuss those things then I wouldn't be forced to sit in front of the computer all day ruining my eyes.