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Featured When should Baptists get married?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Salty, Aug 30, 2014.

  1. JonC

    JonC Moderator
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    The older I get…and the longer I’m married…the more I understand Paul’s comments to the Corinthians. :smilewinkgrin: Just kidding...don't tell my wife.
     
  2. Rolfe

    Rolfe Well-Known Member
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    What is the Baptist hangup over dancing...even with one's own wife? Never understood that one.
     
  3. Rolfe

    Rolfe Well-Known Member
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    Playing cards, too...
     
  4. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
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    Or having a beer:laugh:

    I dance....been dancing at polka parties since I was 2 yo. I met my wife on a dance floor and I dance at weddings.:smilewinkgrin:

    Oh, that's right -- I was raised a catholic and a Yankee....so I'm a reprobate right!:laugh:
     
  5. JonC

    JonC Moderator
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    Where I live it is not a "Baptist" hangup but a CoC hang up. Never really understood it.
     
  6. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
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    The beer or the dancing? Up here its the heroin we object to. We would gladly accept the beer and dancing, "with open arms.":smilewinkgrin:
     
  7. JonC

    JonC Moderator
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    Ahhh....that's what they've been saying down here in the South...beer leads to heroin don't ya know :smilewinkgrin:
     
  8. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
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    Beer leads to a good and healthy bladder release and maybe some restfull sleep. Heroin on the other hand leads to eternal sleep.....especially when taken with alcohol. So don't do that unless you have a death wish.
     
  9. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    I married young. I was just 20 years old, hubby was 24 but we both had jobs, had bought a house and were able to be independent from the beginning. Had children come right away, we were able to provide for them and keep our home. That was vital.

    My girls are 22 and 24. My 24 year old is not yet ready to be married. She still needs to learn some practical skills and I expect she won't be married for some time (while she's a teacher, she still struggles with some things thanks to some developmental issues as a baby and so she's slightly behind her peers in some areas of her life). My 22 year old could be married today but her boyfriend doesn't yet have a job and they would not be able to financially take care of themselves so they are waiting. He graduated from college and is looking for a career job and my daughter just started grad school for a doctorate in audiology. Right now she's dead broke and getting student loans but she has a job lined up when she gets out if she wants it - right near home! Starting salary for audiologists is excellent so I know when she graduates, she will do fine and even with the loans, will be able to pay them off quickly and by that time her boyfriend will have been working for a few years and I believe they will be in a place to be independent.

    So I guess it's apparent that my feelings are to get married when:

    You find the right person to marry.
    You are able to be independent financially.
    You are ready to be married to someone and run a household developmentally.

    Whatever age that happens, that is the right age to get married whether it is 20 years old or 40 or more. Don't get married young just to get married. Wait for the right person.
     
  10. OldRegular

    OldRegular Well-Known Member

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    It is better to get married before you have children.
     
  11. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Keys to a happy marriage....


    "yes, dear"
    "here's my check, dear"
    "boy, you look awful purty in all, dear"
    "here's the remote, dear"
    "I'm sorry, dear"
    "you were right, dear"
    "have you lost weight, dear?"


    Keys to divorce....

    "hey Sally"...your wife's name is "Nancy"
    "you having went to the dentist sure brightened your smile"...after a tooth extraction
    "did your blouse shrink?"
    "did you cover your gray hair?"
    "I didn't know your mouth was that big"...after her yawning
    "Humph, I didn't think you'd sprain your ankle and them being thick like that"...read that in a newspaper comicstrip
     
  12. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Sure.

    Baptists should never marry. Each other...
     
  13. nodak

    nodak Active Member
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    Obviously, a certain level of maturity and meeting the right one are important.

    But from the female point of view, something to consider is fertility. It drops off fairly quickly as we age. If having offspring is really important to a gal, she might want to drop the whole idea of waiting until she finishes college AND is well settled in her career. She could marry right out of college.
     
  14. corndogggy

    corndogggy Active Member
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    Why would this be any different for baptists specifically?
     
  15. corndogggy

    corndogggy Active Member
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    It would be REALLY dumb to do this in this country if you are already with who you know you will marry. If you are married and have low incomes and are going to school, you get all kinds of federal financial help. Otherwise you get to claim your parents incomes, which more often than not means you get to rack up tons of student loans, of which nowadays can easily approach the 6 digit realm even for in-state undergraduate degrees if you don't have significant help coming in from elsewhere. Now, multiply that by two if you are both going to college. So basically when you get out and THEN you get married, you immediately have the equivalent of a very expensive house payment, for 30 years. Except you don't have a house to show for it. It is a horrible way to start off.
     
  16. corndogggy

    corndogggy Active Member
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    My wife is a divorce attorney so I've seen a thing or two. I can tell you right now that this is not the top items. Stress due to financial issues and extramarital affairs top the charts by far. Many couples cannot manage money at all nowadays and they end up with $40,000 in credit card debt or something, things tend to fall apart at that point. Cheating is a huge problem as well and they eventually get caught, I've even seen people have gay lovers on the side.


    As for your list:

    1. from what I've seen, if age has anything to do with it, the older couples tend to divorce more often. You get two people who are at least into their late 30's or older and the chance they will get a divorce is very high. People get set in their ways and crankier the older they get so pet peeves about their partner tends to get to them much more than if they had been with this person since they were 20 years old and things fall apart within a year. Lots of stats show otherwise, saying that younger couples will divorce sooner than had you waited, but they are often comparing 18 year olds to 28 year olds. Big difference. I think the sweet spot is between like 22 and 35. Marry much after that point and it's no different than if you were 18.

    2. This is correct, and ties in to my above paragraph. Older couples are lonely and desperate to find a spouse, they rush into it just to have things fall apart.

    3. I rarely see this. I saw one couple who had troubles, the wife being Catholic and the husband being atheist, so it would be easy to blame it on that. However, the wife was skinny as a rail and wanted to live in a city, and the husband was a fat tub of lard who wanted to stay in the country. So yeah if you're not compatible at all it's not going to work but I haven't seen much of anything in terms of different cultures and religions not working out.
     
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