Featured Will become a church member

NO NO NO!!! :BangHead: :BangHead::BangHead:

I don't know if anyone else caught it, but there apparently is a stepson involved as well, or am I wrong? If you are now "Reformed" get down on your knees and pray, pray like you've never have before - trust in God's sovereignty in this situation if you want to see change, but don't get aggressive about getting your wife to conform to what you believe on every little thing (which seems to be constantly changing). You've only been married 5 months, if I read right, probably haven't even known her for more than a year if I'm guessing. Right now she needs a husband and a father to her child more than a seminary professor. Be that!! Be what God has called you to be at this time. As I've said before, she won't consider any change if she doesn't respect you. And I guarantee that she does not.

I'm trying to say this with brotherly love, I believe doctrine is important, but I would guess your marriage is probably on thin ice. Don't strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.

 

Amen! This constant bickering about Reformed vs. IFB, confronting the pastor of the church his wife loves, the need to "convert" her to Reformed theology, the Way of the Master or the highway, etc. is NOT building a good foundation for a marriage. Take your foot off the throttle and be a loving husband. Put your books away and pay attention to your wife.

 

:thumbs: If you want to discuss scripture with her, get a baby sitter, get you some Mike's Hard Lemonade, get alone with her and talk about these verses:

Ecclesiastes 9:9 - Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Proverbs 5:18-19 - Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.

Deuteronomy 24:5 - If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.

I Corinthians 7:3-5 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

 

Agreed...in all,, youur wife is immovable & that's fine....so she can stay put where she is and you go find the church that best suits you. Life is like that.

 

Other than the broad brush remark about those that hold to the Doctrines of Grace, that post here (of which I am one) I thought you had an excellent post. And there was no reason for you to take it down. He may not listen to what you said, but he needs a woman's perspective, and it needs to be said.

 

Why...is she paying attention to his concerns and spiritual development?

 

This is possibly the worst advice I've ever read on this forum.

 

Nothing has been said about this by Evan, so I don't know. However, his constant belittling of her church and pastor and his (clichéd- Calvinism) aggressive attempts to get her to accept Reformed theology is going to damage their marriage. If he stays true to form it won't be long before he questions her salvation.

 

Your opinion....

 

BTW...where is the father?

 

Your asking Evan to be both the spiritial leader of this new family and the head of it. So when he attempts to review scripture and his concerns for a pastor, he gets what.....'rebuffed '....so where is the guy supposed to go?

 

I had asked Evan this a few weeks ago and didn't get an answer to my knowledge. I think there are other posters here who would (or should) feel shame if their wives read their posts.

 

Yea....like whom do you refer? Personally my dear bride has told me that they should do their own thing and it would be a mistake for Evan to join her church....especially if he is a Calvinist and she is an IFB. Her exact words were, "tell him to grow a set "