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You Might Be A Christian Redneck?

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by tyndale1946, Mar 3, 2015.

  1. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member

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    If you go to Sunday Meetin in your bib overalls with a toothpick tween your teeth:smilewinkgrin:
     
  2. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member

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    If you go to Sunday Meetin packin.
     
  3. Gib

    Gib Active Member

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    If you have the Lord's supper on Sunday Meetin' and ask fer seconds.
     
  4. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member

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    You might go to a redneck Church if you ain't the only one that goes to Sunday Meetin packin.
     
  5. Gib

    Gib Active Member

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    If there are more 4-wheelers in the grass than cars, you might be a Christian redneck.
     
  6. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member

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    When walking into the church you can smell "The Country Fried Chicken"!... And its not KFC!
     
    #6 tyndale1946, Mar 3, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2015
  7. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member

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    There are more horses than cars and the cowboy hats outnumber the ladies.
     
  8. Gib

    Gib Active Member

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    You might be a redneck Christian if your church has a spittoon or two on the back row.
     
  9. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant Active Member

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    Then our church is definitely a suburban red neck church.
     
  10. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member

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    Snowmobiles. :thumbsup:
     
  11. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member

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    ...if there is skeet shooting behind the church after service.
     
  12. Thousand Hills

    Thousand Hills Active Member

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    Not looking for a Cal/Arm debate, but you might be a reformed redneck if..........................

    (1) The biggest fight you ever had with your wife was wether or not to name your first born daughter Dolly-Grace or Loretta-Grace

    (2) The rear bumper of your pickup truck is proudly adorned with a "NRA" bumper sticker, a "Skoal Bandit" bumper sticker, and a "Calvin 500" bumper sticker.

    (3) You have a billy goat named Spurgeon

    (4) You search record shops, yard sales, and flea markets hoping to find a version of Willie Nelson singing "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God"

    (5) Your first question when you get to heaven is going to be "You willin to sell any of those cattle on a Thousand Hills?"
     
  13. convicted1

    convicted1 Active Member

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    Your church may be redneckish if your collection plate is a spittoon...
     
  14. PreachTony

    PreachTony Active Member

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    You might be a redneck Christian if you stop on the way to church and scrape a possum off the road, because you forgot to bring a dish for the church dinner after service.
     
  15. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member

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    I've heard that is a practice of our brothers in GA, to eat 'old' road kill. We feel strongly that it should be fresh road kill and should never have to be scraped off the road.
     
    #15 kyredneck, Mar 4, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 4, 2015
  16. PreachTony

    PreachTony Active Member

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    The "scraping" in question is dependent on how wide and large your pick-up truck tires are, KYR. Having wider, heavier tires might mean you have to do some scraping, but it also makes for a quick kill.
     
  17. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member

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    Our GA brothers must be hard up to stoop to flat road kill, which we reject farther north.
     
  18. PreachTony

    PreachTony Active Member

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    Well...
    and
    Honestly, a flat roadkill on a Georgia road, especially in the heart of summer, is like getting some good possum or squirrel jerky. The Lord (and Ford) provides.
     
  19. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member

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    I'll include you all in my prayers brother, as I often do for the heathen.
     
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