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  #1  
Old 05-13-2002, 06:29 PM
Scott J Scott J is offline
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Is a man with a divorced wife qualified to be a pastor, deacon, or other church leader?

What if the wife was not divorced for biblically supported reasons?
  #2  
Old 05-13-2002, 07:11 PM
Pastor Larry Pastor Larry is offline
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This is an interesting subject. The Scripture gives no clear qualifications for a pastor's wife. Therefore, there is no Scripture on which a case can be made to prohibit it. (Not that that stops people from prohibiting it.)

A pastor's wife is like any other lady in the church. She is to be a model of what it means to be a godly woman. That model can be made, with varying degrees of effectiveness, from any background if the life is dedicated to serving Christ.

It may not be wise for a man who wants to be a pastor to marry a divorced woman. However, it is not prohibited in Scripture.
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Old 05-13-2002, 08:57 PM
Scott_Bushey Scott_Bushey is offline
 
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Pastor Larry writes:
This is an interesting subject. The Scripture gives no clear qualifications for a pastor's wife. Therefore, there is no Scripture on which a case can be made to prohibit it. (Not that that stops people from prohibiting it.)

Scott states:
Maybe not specifically on this subject, but proverbs 31, Titus 1:3, 1 Peter 3:1-6, give us an idea of what the woman of God are to be like. Many of these scriptures mention them as *wives*.
The Titus passage mentions the man of God; the husband of 1 wife; surely she is a "1 man" woman.

Larry writes:
It may not be wise for a man who wants to be a pastor to marry a divorced woman. However, it is not prohibited in Scripture.

Scott states:
Larry, I am trying to see how you have come to this conclusion. Scripture clearly teaches the biblical citeria for divorce. Anything outside of this design is to be considered adultery.

The opening post states that (possibly) the woman
was divorced outside of biblical grounds. Do you not consider this adultery?

In HIM,
Scott
  #4  
Old 05-13-2002, 09:12 PM
Don Don is offline
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Gotta go with Scott on this one--particularly on the adultery portion....
  #5  
Old 05-13-2002, 09:15 PM
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LadyEagle LadyEagle is offline
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Wow, I can't believe I agree with Scott.
  #6  
Old 05-13-2002, 09:43 PM
dave brauer dave brauer is offline
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I also agree with Scott. I'd like to add what our Lord Jesus said on this in Mt. 19:3-9 ("...from the beginning it was not so..."), based on Gen. 2:24. God's servants must maintain God's standards and not adopt the standard of the "hard hearted".
  #7  
Old 05-14-2002, 10:05 AM
Pastor Larry Pastor Larry is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Scott Bushey:
Maybe not specifically on this subject, but proverbs 31, Titus 1:3, 1 Peter 3:1-6, give us an idea of what the woman of God are to be like. Many of these scriptures mention them as *wives*.
I completely agree with this and, as I said, the pastor's wife is like every other woman in the church. She is to be a model of what it means to be a godly woman. But in none of these passages is it said that a pastor's wife cannot be a divorced woman.

Quote:
The Titus passage mentions the man of God; the husband of 1 wife; surely she is a "1 man" woman.
You have added the last statement. That is not something Paul said and that is where I must take issue with you. I am not suggesting a pastor should marry a divorced woman. I am saying that there is no Scripture that gives qualifications that would dictate that he must not marry a divorced woman.

Quote:
Scripture clearly teaches the biblical citeria for divorce. Anything outside of this design is to be considered adultery.
I am not sure that it is as "clear" as you suggest it is. Let me very briefly state my position again for the record. Divorce is never the best option. It is always (even in adultery) the result of sin and that sin should be forgiven and the marriage should be restored. But divorce happens and we must deal with it after it does. I believe that a person who gets divorced for any reason can be forgiven and restored to fellowship with God. I do not see a consistent teaching in Scripture that a single person cannot be married. I realize there is a lot of debate on this issue. My point is simply that it is not as clear as you would like it to be. For instance, Christ says that there is only one exception -- adultery. Paul, writing 30 years later, says that there is another -- desertion. So if Christ said there was only one and Paul says there is another (assuming the fact of inspiration) we have a problem that must be sorted out by context. So if adultery is one reason and desertion is another, it seems very clear to me that each speaker was addressing a particular historical contextual issue. Using the principles of Scripture, I believe we can come to a place of understanding of these things.

Quote:
The opening post states that (possibly) the woman was divorced outside of biblical grounds. Do you not consider this adultery?
And possibly she wasn't. I am much less concerned about the sin that lead to the divorce than the person's response afterwards. Can an "unbiblical" divorce not be forgiven? Is a person with an unbiblical divorce exempt from the principle that it is better to marry than to burn? Somewhere these things must meet in the middle.

However, this thread is not about divorce. It is about pastor's with divorced wives and you have yet to show my statement to be incorrect. So it stands, Scripture does not give qualifications for a pastor's wife.
  #8  
Old 05-14-2002, 06:27 PM
Scott J Scott J is offline
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Maybe I should provide more detail. I have two separate situations in mind.

#1- The wife was married to man and had children with him. Later he became abusive toward her and also practiced child molestation. After trying to deal with the situation, she counselled with her pastor and they agreed that she had grounds to divorce him. She later married a man who was apparently unsaved at the time of marriage. After getting saved, he left his career, went back to seminary, and has now accepted a pastorate. Is he biblically qualified?

#2- In the second situation, the ex-husband would live "right" for awhile- going to church, teaching youth, and even professing a calling to preach. Then, the wife would catch him in lies about his "secret" life. She caught him using and selling drugs. She also caught him sneaking out to bars while she was working second shift. Although she had no direct proof, there were indications that he might have been cheating also. He would lie repeatedly to cover his tracks.

After 7+ years of the same pattern, she became friends with another man, eventually fell in love with him, divorced her first husband, and married the second man who had no previous marriage. Both were Christians at the time but backslidden. Is the new husband qualified to pastor?
  #9  
Old 05-18-2002, 07:14 AM
Andrey Andrey is offline
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Wonderful situations and a wonderful question.

Should we focus on rules or on our relationship with Jesus?

Since his qualifications are not based on her past, but on his relationship with Jesus, I would say that nothing about her disqualifies him.

Andrey
www.achievebalance.com/divorce
  #10  
Old 05-20-2002, 06:16 PM
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Dr. Bob Dr. Bob is offline
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Biblical reasons for allowing divorce are:
~Sexual Sin, Matthew
~Abandonment, I Corinthians

IF one accepts a divorce as Biblical, there is nothing forbidding remarriage.

Hence the pastor whose wife was so divorced and then remarried would still be "above reproach", etc, as per requirements of I Timothy 3. He would also, by Jewish law and Civil law, be "a one-woman man", since he was legally and rightly married to one woman (his present wife).

I would not like it, but could not stoop and pick up stones over a situation as you describe.
 

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