50% Divorce rate - is that a true fact?

Discussion in 'All Other Discussions' started by Salty, Aug 4, 2009.

  1. Salty

    Salty
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  2. Jim1999

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    Polls...........And dogs know what to do with poles!

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  3. Carolina Baptist

    Carolina Baptist
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    The links wouldn't open for me. It just keeps saying "connecting".

    I have always heard the 50% statistic. I would like to know if that encludes the 2nd, 3rd, etc, marriages. What is the stat for first marriages?
     
  4. Salty

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    The link does work, not sure why it doesnt like you, so here is a couple of paragraphs:

    The figure is based on a simple - and flawed - calculation: the annual
    marriage rate per 1,000 people compared with the annual divorce rate. In
    2003, for example, the most recent year for which data is available, there
    were 7.5 marriages per 1,000 people and 3.8 divorces, according to the
    National Center for Health Statistics.

    "But researchers say that this is misleading because the people who are divorcing in any given year are not the same as those who are marrying, and that the statistic is virtually useless in understanding divorce rates. In fact, they say, studies find that the divorce rate in the United States has never reached one in every two marriages, and new research suggests that,
    with rates now declining, it probably never will."
     
  5. Jim1999

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    It seems there are as many separations as divorcements in Canada, and then couples living together rather than marrying. What does that do to so-called statistics?

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  6. donnA

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    I've always heard the 50%, but who knows for sure. Accurate or not, I know theres probably about as many divorces in the church as there are among non believers.
    Now what does that say about modern christians?
     
  7. Johnv

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    I did a research papare on this in college. IN regards to the "50%" statistic, it is the total number of marriages, whether or not they're a second, third, etc. Statistically, a second marriage is more likely to fail than a first. Every marriage following a second has an increasing likelihood of failing.

    Also, simply being a Christian does not significantly change the likelihood of a marriage succeeding. However, being actively involved in one's house of worship has a positive impact on the success of a marriage (this seems to be true regardless of the couple's religious affiliation).

    In first marriages alone, the divorce rate is still staggeringly high: between 35% and 40%. Interestingly, the greater your education and income, the less likely you are to divorce. Also, waiting until your late 20's increases your chances of a successful marriage.

    If you want a marriage that has a success rate of 90% or higher, you should wait until you have finished your education and have successfully established a career. After marriage, you and your spouse should attend and be involved in a church regularly. This combination practically guarantees a successful marriage.
     
    #7 Johnv, Aug 5, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 5, 2009
  8. donnA

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    LOL, I guess we're always the odd balls. When we married I was 16, he was 21, always poor and at one time extremely below povery level, he has almost no education at all, and me a ged. And we'll be married 29 years next month. We beat the odds becasue we actually love each other. We weren't saved until we'd been married for 10 years, bad years too. Since then it's been our commitment to each other and God and the truth of His word, He hates divorce.
    On the other hand I've known people who were should have been successful in marriage followed all the rules Johnv outlined, and ended up in divorce(waiting, getting education, money, going to church faithfully, serving faithfully).
    it appears education and money don't play as big a role in marriage as many think, otherwise we would be married and the others would. What matters is genuine love, for each other and God. No matter how much education and money you have.
     
  9. Johnv

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    I'm exctatic that your marriage is a success, but to say that education and money don't play as big a role in marriage as many think isn't true. Statistics disagree. For everyone of you, there are a lot more divorced couples than in the categories I mentioned.

    I know, I know. Everyone says statistics don't matter, but then everyone ends up becoming a statistic, don't they? The phrase "all you need is love" just ain't so, mostly because people usually don't know what love is. Love isn't a feeling. Love is a decision. People should not be marrying until they're able to discern between love as a decision, and emotional infatuation. Your marriage survived probably because you tow grew to love each other maturely. That doesn't mean everyone should do it that way.
     
  10. donnA

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    I don't care about stastics, I know real people on both sides of it. People divorce becasue they don't love each other, becasue they do not place God in His proper place in their marriage. no matter how much money they have. According to your standards we could never have married, yet people who are now divorced fit the bill for a reliable marriage.
    I agree with your defination of love, yet if people really did it, they wouldn't be divorced, and as you say it is their decision to love each other or not. they chose nto too, which results in divorce. my marriage is not ever built on money.
     
  11. rdwhite

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    I'm not sure about the 50% rate, but I know I read somewhere that marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
     
  12. Jim1999

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    Statistics are great for people writing papers for school. They mislead and misdirect what people should be doing to maintain a marriage.

    Marriage is a union of respect. Love develops over time. If a couple doesn't respect each other, I guarantee problems will develop. I used to advise young ladies in marriage counselling to see how her future husband respects his mother and his dog. That will demonstrate how he will treat you.

    The second point is that marriage is a union ad not just a legal or church institution. This union respects both opinions and not a dictatorship.

    I maintained an annual letter-contact with each couple I married over the years. In a few instances, it saved a marriage in difficulty. Some never responded to my letter, so any statistic I formed would be inaccurate, but I like to think the letter is beneficial.

    Cheers, and happy unions,

    Jim

    PS. Divorcement does happen, and sometimes it is the only sensible solution.
     
  13. donnA

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    Sunday afternoon at church there was funeral for woman who was 94, her husband who is still alive is a few years older then her. They married when she was 14, no education, never a great deal of money, and here they are 80 years later. I suspect Jim1999 is the one whose more right in this case of long marriages.
     
  14. Johnv

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    That's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is that you're the rare exception, not the rule.
    Yes, absolutely. People should not marry until they are old enough to discern that. THe problem is, people usually think they know it, when they don't. Just ask an 18 year old girl to define love, and she will likely define arousal or infatulation, but not mature love.
    To live by statistics is, of course, foolish. However, to ignore them is likewise foolish.
    Bingo! That's absolutely correct. Mature marital love is a learned behavior. It is something that a person must learn before getting married.
     
    #14 Johnv, Aug 6, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2009
  15. Carolina Baptist

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    "There are three kinds of lies: lies, ______ lies, and statistics"
    Attributed to Mark Twain
     

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