A Fire That Burns In My Bones

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by tyndale1946, Apr 8, 2003.

  1. tyndale1946

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    Aug 30, 2001
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    As you all know I lost my wife Charlotte yesterday and probably Monday I will bury her but I didn't tell you all the rest of the story. I've been exercising in my church for a little while and Sunday I opened the service for our minister Elder Amos Todd.

    I spoke on the 16th Chapter of Mark on the three women going to anoint the body of Jesus... My topic was... Who shall roll away the stone. As I was giving the illustration of the three women going to roll away the stone?... In my minds eye I saw my wife Charlotte as Mary heading for the tomb hurry all the other women along.

    Then running from the tomb and proclaiming... He is not here he is risen... I can't seem to get this thought out of my mind and I don't know exactly what to make of it... Maybe it was a delusion... Maybe I was putting her face on Mary because I wanted to... I don't know... It's a mystery to me.

    What I didn't know at the time was she was headed for emergency at the time I was speaking and I had no knowledge of it until after church. Until I went to the rest home after church and she was not there. I can't explain it... I have been in my church for 35 years and have never felt a burden like this... Have you ever heard of others who were called to preach who have been in circumstances like this?... It is a fire that burn in my bones.

    I find myself preaching to inanimate objects when there is no one around... What is going on with me?... Am I losing my mind over so much grief or is there a greater purpose I can not see?... I don't understand this... Do I need to pray more or just go where God leads me?... Just now I felt compelled to get up to get up and start preaching and I did for a about five minutes... What is wrong with me... Am I losing my mind... I need some answers... Can you give me some?... Also I'm a Primitive Baptist... Your unworthy servant Brother Glen :confused:

    [ April 08, 2003, 01:00 PM: Message edited by: tyndale1946 ]
  2. Jim1999

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    Aug 10, 2002
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    My dear Brother Glen,

    Everything you are experiencing is quite normal after such a tragic loss. Remember, you and your dear wife were joined at the heart for many years. It is not unusual to feel that sudden separation.Perhaps this is God's way of keeping you attached at the heart. Perhaps this is God's assurance that your beloved is safe in His arms....that she is not there, but is risen.

    The most important thing is to let it all out, my dear brother. Let go, and let God. As men, so often we are taught to be strong and this equated to no tears, no signs of emotion, but it is not so. We are an emotional entity and we ought to allow our emotions to burst through at times. This is one of those times.

    This you can be assured of; our prayers are with you, and your beloved has gained a place of great peace, comfort and tranquility; safe in the arms of Jesus. God be with you.


  3. Istherenotacause

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    Mar 24, 2003
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    Hi, Brother Glen,

    I read your post and I'm really sorry for your loss. Don't think I'm being "charismatic or anything, but I've experienced things similar to what you have concerning your "premonition", I guess we should call it.

    One of our deacons passed a couple of years ago. I woke up one morning and told my wife I had just had the weirdest dream, Brother Hurbert had just told me,"See ya, Brother Rick, I've got to be going now." It was one of those type you have to ask yourself,"Was I really dreaming?".

    This was on Sunday morning about 5:30 a.m. Later at Sunday school, the pastor informed us that Brother Hurbert had went home to be with the Lord. He announced that he "checked-out" at 6:15 a.m. He'd lost conciousness around 5:20. Brother Hurbert was suffering from a brain tumor.

    He used to stand and testify,"I know! That I know! That I know! I am saved!" He has always been a greta encouragement to me. I can only think he wanted to say good-bye as he went home.

    Though I don't really put any confidence in it, I can't deny what I experienced, no one had any idea he would pass so quickly. He left here 3 months before the 6 the doctors gave him. I just reflect on it every once and a while. It's one of those things we only can see in part what they really mean, but one glorious day we will know as we are known.

    You have my sympathies Brother, but draw strength from it, it very well may have been the Lord giving you this for that very purpose. Be made strong in the grace of God as Paul told Timothy, is my admonition to you! (No, I dare not to compare myself even with Timothy).

    Preach on! Let that FIRE burn within your bones, and tell the whole world about Jesus! Even the rocks and bushes and trees!

    IN His Holy Service!

    Brother Ricky [​IMG]

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