A Quiz for Your Calvinist Friends (Satire)

Discussion in 'Calvinism/Arminianism Debate' started by Benjamin, Oct 18, 2016.

  1. Benjamin

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    A little quiz for your Calvinist Friends. Inspired by the ever resourceful JC Thibodaux and by a Calvinist dude namedJay Banks. Enjoy.

    Genesis 25:23 The LORD said to [Rebekah], “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.”

    Q: What was in Rebekah’s womb?

    A. Two nations and two peoples.
    B. One elect person and one reprobate person.
    C. Don’t even try to refer to the Old Testament for your exegesis of Romans 9. Heretic.

    Ezekiel 18:23 Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign LORD. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?

    Q: How much pleasure does the Sovereign Lord take in the death of the wicked?

    A. No pleasure
    B. Much pleasure
    C. No revealed pleasure, but lots of secret pleasure.

    Matthew 23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.

    Q: Why didn’t Jesus gather up those in Jerusalem, when he longed to?

    A. Because they were not willing.
    B. This is a mystery.
    C. Hello pea brain. Jesus was speaking of general chicks, not effectual chicks.

    Luke 10:30-37 [The story of the good Samaritan – the priest and Levite “pass by” the traveler, the Samaritan stops and helps.]

    Q: Which of these three do you think showed mercy?

    A. The Samaritan. Go and do likewise.
    B. The priest and the Levite showed mercy by passing by.
    C. Each person showed a different kind of mercy. If all had stopped to help, the act of the Samaritan would have been diluted.

    John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

    Q: God loves what?

    A. The world
    B. The elect.
    C. His glory.

    Q: Who will not perish?

    A. Whoever believes in God’s only son.
    B. Let me get back to you on that, I need to look up the answer on “Desiring God”.
    C. Francis Schaeffer won’t perish, but his kid Franky was decreed to go off the deep end.

    Acts 16:30,31 [The jailer] then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”

    Q: What must I do to be saved?

    A. Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.
    B. Win the divine lottery.
    C. The jailer was a Pelagian.

    Romans 11:32 For God has bound all men over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.

    Q: Who does “all” refer to in this verse?

    A. All
    B. The elect
    C. An unbiased reading of the text shows that the first all refers to everyone and the second all refers to only the elect.

    1 Timothy 1:18,19 Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith.

    Q: Paul says that some people have done what with their faith?

    A. Some have shipwrecked their faith.
    B. This is a hypothetical analogy with no real world application. It is merely used by God to ensure the perseverance of the elect.
    C. Nice try. Obviously the ship was never floating in the first place.

    1 Timothy 2:4 [God] wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

    Q: Who does God want to be saved?

    A. All men
    B. All men, but no women.
    C. God really wants all men to be saved, but only in such a way that he damns most in order to maximize his glory.

    1 Peter 1:1,2 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To God’s elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood: Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

    Q: How are the elect chosen?

    A. According to the foreknowledge of God the Father.
    B. If you were elect you would already know the answer to this question.
    C. Who are you oh man to talk back to Piper?

    1 John 2:2 He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.

    Q: Jesus is the atoning sacrifice for what and what?

    A. Our sins and also for the sins of the whole world.
    B. The sins of the elect, and also for the sins of the elect.
    C. The correct word is “propitiation”. You show your Arminian tendencies by quoting from the NIV. Read the ESV, heretic.

    BONUS ROUND!
    Revelation 3:20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

    Q: Which picture best depicts the above verse?

    A.[​IMG]
    B.[​IMG]
    C.[​IMG]

    Add up your score:
    2 points for every (A)rminian
    1 point for every (B)etween
    0 points for every (C)alvinist

    Score:
    25+ points – Congrats! You are predestined to be an Arminian
    20-24 points – You read a lot of Norm Geisler.
    15-19 points – Old school Calvinist
    10-14 points – Neo-Reformed
    0-9 points – James White is your homie.

    http://wesleyanarminian.blogspot.com/2009/04/quiz-for-your-calvinist-friends.html
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. InTheLight

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    D. The jailer had already heard God's word many times. The Holy Spirit had been drawing him for some time. He was elect and didn't know it.

    E. The jailer was not asking how to be eternally saved, rather he was asking how he could be saved from being killed by his superiors for having Paul and Silas escape during his watch.

    Believe it or not, D & E have been posted on BB in the past. When I first came here five years ago (5 years!?) I posted a question about the Phillipian jailer and I received answers D & E from Calvinists here.
     
  3. glad4mercy

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    Oh, how about more recently. I was told that salvation in that passage was referring to progressive salvation and making his salvation PERMANENT. LOL

    F. In order to be progressively saved and make your salvation permament you have to believe Jesus was who He said He was, etc.''

    I'm not quite sure the Philippian jailer was asking how to make his salvation permament or if he understood Paul's answer thusly
     
  4. InTheLight

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    Yes, the more time you spend around here the more crazy ideas you hear.

    The guy that posted this quiz, Benjamin, once posted "The Calvinist's Dictionary", a bunch of Biblical terms and what they really mean (according to Calvinists.) It was pretty hilarious. I added a couple entries to it as well.

    Sent from my Motorola Droid Turbo
     
  5. TCassidy

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    So, are you saying you don't believe people grow in grace, or that they will be sinless in heaven?

    Why not? Can you give scripture that says a Christian can not grow in grace, or that there will be sin in heaven?
     
  6. InTheLight

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    "Show me where he said that."




    Sent from my Motorola Droid Turbo
     
  7. TCassidy

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    It was a question based on his laughing about progressive sanctification.

     
  8. InTheLight

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    Well I don't see it. Glad4Mercy was referring to progressive SALVATION not progressive SANCTIFICATION. There's no such thing as progressive salvation; you are justified by Christ when you repent and at that moment you are saved. Sanctification is a life long process, it's true, in which you become more Christ-like.
     
  9. TCassidy

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    Uh, "Progressive Sanctification" is being "SAVED" from the power of sin.

    The word "saved" and the word "salvation" are from the same root.

    Salvation is a lot more than just receiving a "get out of hell free" card.

    It includes a progressive growth in grace and the knowledge of His word and through that knowledge of His word an improved knowledge of His will.

    So, truth, biblical salvation (which Glad4Mercy laughs out loud about), is three fold.

    1. Punctiliar Salvation - being saved from the penalty of sin.

    2. Progressive Salvation - being saved, progressively, incrementally, from the power of sin.

    3. Permanent Salvation - being saved from the presence of sin and never again being tempted to slide back into sin.

    This is 4th grade Sunday School stuff. I am surprised you are unfamiliar with it.
     
  10. InTheLight

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    Translation: "You're stupid."

    Yes, of course I know all of this. (And no, 'Punctiliar' is not 4th grade Sunday School curriculum, how condescending.) However, I'm not familiar with your terminology. The term "progressive salvation" on the face of it certainly sounds like a works based system. I would avoid using that phrase.


    Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk
     
  11. TCassidy

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    No, it means, "This is 4th grade Sunday School stuff. I am surprised you are unfamiliar with it."
     
  12. TCassidy

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    Why is it condescending to realize our 4th graders are intelligent and well educated?

    This may come as a shock to you but children are just as intelligent as adults. All they lack is experience.

    My youngest grandson is 8. He uses words such as "punctiliar" and "recension" and understands what they mean.

    Of course, all three (with an additional 14 and 17 year old in that bunch - our other three are all adults with children of their own) of them are avid readers, just as our daughter is, and just as my wife and I are. We seem to have passed on our love of reading, and it has stood our children and grandchildren well. Even the 2nd grader. :)

    Most kids their age have their noses stuck in an electronic device. Our grandkids have their noses in books. And for some reason none of them like Kindle or other electronic formats. They insist on good old paper and ink. They spend a disproportionate amount of time at the local library. (At 123,000 square feet it is the largest single floor public library in the country. The next largest is the Johnson County Central Resource Library in Overland Park, Kansas, at 90,547 square feet. But everything is bigger, and better, in Texas.) :)
     
  13. glad4mercy

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    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

    I must be in Oz. I keep seeing strawmen. Silly fellow. We will be sinless in heaven because we will be completely conformed to the image of Christ, which is a work THAT GOD BEGINS, PERFORMS, AND FINISHES, so if this is what you meant by making salvation permament, WE DON"T DO THAT ,God does. (see 1 John 3:1-3)
     
    #13 glad4mercy, Oct 21, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2016
  14. glad4mercy

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    T. Cassiday is throwing out red herrings.

    He said that synergism is adding anything to the work of grace, even belief. He applied this to regeneration. HE did not apply it to progressive salvation, OK, I realize that he means sanctification and there is a part we play in our sanctification, ( 2 Cor. 7:1). But then he said we must believe (which is doing something) to make our salvation permanent. So apparently he believes in conditional perserverance
     
  15. glad4mercy

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    What a monumental RED HERRING
     
  16. glad4mercy

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    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! I was not lauging about progressive sanctification, I was laughing about you being a Calvinist and believing in doing something to make our salvation permanent.
     
  17. glad4mercy

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    T. Cassiday, We will be sinless in heaven because we will be completely conformed to the image of Christ, which is a work THAT GOD BEGINS AND FINISHES, so if this is what you meant by making salvation permament, WE DON"T DO THAT ,God does. (see 1 John 3:1-3)

    End of story
     
  18. glad4mercy

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    So is the act of being saved from the presence of sin entirely an act performed by God alone or God and us together? I hold that God does that work alone in our glorification.

    THEREFORE GLORIFICATION IS NOT A SYNERGISTIC WORK (it is MONERGISTIC) ANY MORE THAN REGENERATION (WHICH IS ALSO MONERGISTIC). Because both actions are performed by GOD ALONE. Our faith in both cases is not a synergistic work, because it is not working together with God to produce the effects. God alone produces the effects.

    We do not regenerate ourselves, cleanse our own hearts, raise ourselves from the dead, or glorify ourselves/ finally and permanently freeing ourselves from the presence of sin and being like HIM when we see Him just as He is. Those acts ARE ALL PERFORMED MONERGISTICALLY BY GOD, but there is the condition of faith attached to them.

    And again, faith is NOT SOMETHING WE PRODUCE, IT IS A GIFT OF GOD. But any gift can be rejected as well as accepted.

    QUOTE T. Cassidy Post 61- Misunderstanding LImited Atonement- What must he do to be saved progressively and permanently? Simple. He had to believe He was Who He claimed to be, and believe in what He did. That is the cognitive aspect I was talking about in my other post.
     
    #18 glad4mercy, Oct 21, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2016

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