Abbott & Costello, Part II

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by Athanasian Creed, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. Athanasian Creed

    Athanasian Creed
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    This is even funnier if you are old enough to remember seeing "Who's on First" by Abbott and Costello. Costello wants to buy a computer from Abbott.



    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?



    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.



    ABBOTT: Mac?



    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.



    ABBOTT: Your computer.



    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.



    ABBOTT: Mac?



    COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Lou!



    ABBOTT: What about Windows?



    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?



    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?



    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?



    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.



    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.



    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?



    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?



    ABBOTT: Office.



    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?



    ABBOTT: I just did.



    COSTELLO: You just did what?



    ABBOTT: Recommend something.



    COSTELLO: You recommended something??



    ABBOTT: Yes.



    COSTELLO: For my office?



    ABBOTT: Yes.



    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?



    ABBOTT: Office.



    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!



    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.



    COSTELLO: I already have an office, and it has windows! OK, let's just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?



    ABBOTT: Word.



    COSTELLO: What word?



    ABBOTT: Word in Office.



    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.



    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.



    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?



    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".



    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers !! OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?



    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.



    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!



    ABBOTT: Real One.



    COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?



    ABBOTT: Of course.



    COSTELLO: Great, with what?



    ABBOTT: Real One.



    COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?



    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".



    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?



    ABBOTT: The blue "1".



    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?



    ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.



    COSTELLO: What word?



    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.



    COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!



    ABBOTT: No, just one. but its the most popular Word in the world.



    COSTELLO: It is?



    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words.



    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?



    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even Part of Office.



    COSTELLO: Stop!! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping, you have anything I can track my money with?



    ABBOTT: Money



    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?



    ABBOTT: Money.



    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?



    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.



    COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?



    ABBOTT: Money.



    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?



    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.



    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?



    ABBOTT: One copy.



    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?



    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.



    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?



    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!



    (LATER) COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?



    ABBOTT: Click on "START" ...




    Ray :wavey:
     
  2. Tom Butler

    Tom Butler
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    Very Funny! A nice takeoff of "Who's on First?".

    I just saw a part of "Who's on First?" on TV this evening. I've heard it a bunch of times but I still laughed myself to tears.
     
  3. Athanasian Creed

    Athanasian Creed
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    Me too - it's a classic!



    Ray :thumbsup:
     

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