absolutely confused

Faith is not in being one hundred per cent sure of a thing. Faith is in being commited to a thing.

Once upon a time there were two children on a street corner, waiting for their dad to come by and pick them up in the car. As they waited, one child said "oh dear, I'm afraid dad isn't coming". The other said "Sure he is. Don't worry."

When the dad came to pick them up, it did not matter in the least that one of them had more doubts than the other. What mattered was, both of them were still there on the corner looking for him.

So it is with our faith in God. Say your philosophical analysis comes up with 60 percent sure God exists, 10 percent sure he doesn't, and the rest undecided. That doesn't matter to God.

Did you pray to Him? Did you accept the atoning act of Christ on the cross as an offer to you to enter into eternal life? Was that acceptance so sincere that you went ahead and joined a church and got baptized?

That's faith, brother. That's what matters to God