An unusual praise through tears .....

Discussion in 'Prayer Requests & Praise' started by Scarlett O., Feb 8, 2014.

  1. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
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    It's been a weepy day for me, but a good day.

    I was reading aloud in Luke when I got to the woman with issue of blood and her healing. As I read aloud, memories of my own problem akin to hers that led to cancer from which God delivered me came rushing to my heart and mind. And... I could hardly even read for crying.

    A friend of mine who had cancer years ago told me this past summer when I had cancer to keep the get well cards - that they would be meaningful as time passed. I took her comment - not all the way to heart.

    I found some of those cards today. They moved me beyond words and to great weeping.

    When you have an easily treatable cancer - you feel guilty. I can't explain it. At the same time I had my easily treatable cancer - my cousin across the globe was having her breasts cut off and was looking at months of chemotherapy and reconstructive surgery. How COULD I have ask anyone to sympathize with me? I was too ashamed.

    I had to ask for prayer in the anonymity of the internet on the two forums I frequent.

    So many people who came to me to express that they were praying for me had lost beloved family members to cancer. How COULD I have told them that I was scared even in the simplicity of my own cancer?

    Besides - my mother had just been diagnosed with a dreadful illness that is still consuming her today. I could NOT let her know that my emotional state was topsy-turvy.

    I can look back today and see myself last summer walking around and talking to people doe-eyed and robotically - "Oh, I'm great .... no treatments, just surgery .... I'm fine!!".

    I wasn't fine - emotionally speaking.

    And today .... those cards meant more to me than they did last summer as I was trying to pretend everything was cool.

    I know that some who sent me cards won't remember - that was 6 months ago. That doesn't matter. I am the one doing the remembering today - crying for the woman who six months ago refused to cry.

    And rejoicing yet again that God spared my life and made my cancer a simple one.

    Praise His Name.
     
  2. padredurand

    padredurand
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    You are not alone, dear Sister. I work for a regional hospital and have been on loan to the Cancer Treatment Center since November. The job is pretty simple; I go pick them up in a hospital van, take them to their treatment and return home. Because it is a regional hospital they might live an hour and a half from the CTC. I usually get an earful.

    The are joyful and filled with sorrow. They are at peace and very angry. They are hopelessly hopeful. They are angry with God, cancer and family that doesn't get it. They cling to their faith, hope their treatment will make it easier on the next person and lean on their family. They are strong. They are weak. They are filled with encouragement. They are filled with bitterness. They want to live. They want to die.

    They sound a lot like you. The Good Book says, "...weeping will last for the night but a shout of joy comes with the morning." None of us know when morning will come. If nature is any indicator it is darkest and coldest just before dawn. I've sat in the woods many mornings when the world wakes up and it is spectacular. The birds start to sing, the darkness gives way to light and the cold gives way to the rising sun.

    In Christ it all, eventually, gives way to an eternal and everlasting hope. If I was nearby I'd offer you a tissue and a shoulder. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability, fears and sorrow. Thank you for sharing your joy in One who redeemed you.
     
  3. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
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    Thanks, brother ... you have a definite gift of encouragement.
     
  4. Gina B

    Gina B
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    That's beautiful!

    If we all thought "someone has it worse so this is nothing," none of us would ever think we needed help and prayer. That wouldn't be good. We ALL need help and prayer, in our own ways, for our own reasons, for our own needs, in our own seasons.

    And just as important is that time of rejoicing. It's so beautiful to see a praise on here. :thumbs:
     
  5. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell
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    My wife had the same experience.
     
  6. Archie the Preacher

    Archie the Preacher
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    Scarlett,

    Just because there is someone 'worse off' than you does NOT mean your pain is any less painful, your fear any less real or even your feet any less cold. God knows you - and all of us - have limits. At some point, we will all die (of something.)

    There are two big dangers in dealing with pain: The obvious, one can become a 'professional victim' and the other is sealing yourself off and not allowing anyone to hurt with you or pray for you or just be friends. Isolation - especially emotional - can install resentment and hostility deep within.

    Sounds like you worked it about right. And I'm glad you're doing better. Praise His name. And we keep praying for the others, right?
     
  7. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
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    Yes ... we DO! :praying: :thumbs:

    Thanks all.
     

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