It's been a weepy day for me, but a good day. I was reading aloud in Luke when I got to the woman with issue of blood and her healing. As I read aloud, memories of my own problem akin to hers that led to cancer from which God delivered me came rushing to my heart and mind. And... I could hardly even read for crying. A friend of mine who had cancer years ago told me this past summer when I had cancer to keep the get well cards - that they would be meaningful as time passed. I took her comment - not all the way to heart. I found some of those cards today. They moved me beyond words and to great weeping. When you have an easily treatable cancer - you feel guilty. I can't explain it. At the same time I had my easily treatable cancer - my cousin across the globe was having her breasts cut off and was looking at months of chemotherapy and reconstructive surgery. How COULD I have ask anyone to sympathize with me? I was too ashamed. I had to ask for prayer in the anonymity of the internet on the two forums I frequent. So many people who came to me to express that they were praying for me had lost beloved family members to cancer. How COULD I have told them that I was scared even in the simplicity of my own cancer? Besides - my mother had just been diagnosed with a dreadful illness that is still consuming her today. I could NOT let her know that my emotional state was topsy-turvy. I can look back today and see myself last summer walking around and talking to people doe-eyed and robotically - "Oh, I'm great .... no treatments, just surgery .... I'm fine!!". I wasn't fine - emotionally speaking. And today .... those cards meant more to me than they did last summer as I was trying to pretend everything was cool. I know that some who sent me cards won't remember - that was 6 months ago. That doesn't matter. I am the one doing the remembering today - crying for the woman who six months ago refused to cry. And rejoicing yet again that God spared my life and made my cancer a simple one. Praise His Name.