Bullying

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by ktn4eg, May 1, 2011.

  1. ktn4eg

    ktn4eg
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    In recent years, much has been said and written about the problem that many children face at school and other places, namely that of bullying.

    I'm interested in reading your opinions on how Christian parents ought to instruct their children on how to deal with this issue from a Biblical perspective--especially if the child is a Christian.

    Do the teachings of Christ in such places as Matthew 5:43-44 and Luke 6:27-29a, 31 & 33 have any relevance to what Christian parents need to teach their children about how to respond to bullying?
     
  2. John of Japan

    John of Japan
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    As a self defense teacher (6th black) and author (A Christian Philosophy of Self Defense, http://www.seigibushidoryu.com/resources/publications.asp), I recommend first of all witnessing to the bully. So yes, loving your neighbor is the first part of my approach.

    The Gospel has a huge psychological impact. In my pamphlet I give examples from the news of Christians who witnessed to not just a bully but a murderer and an escaped prisoner, taming them with the Gospel. Even if the criminal/bully does not trust Christ, the Holy Spirit is at work on the side of the defender.

    Secondly, I teach intervention by others on the side of the one being bullied. This to me is another part of loving my neighbor. You love the bullied person by standing up for them, and you love the bully by stopping his self-destructive behavior. The pledge adhered to by students in my style of martial arts includes this:
    Thirdly, when all else fails, I believe the person being bullied should be given the tools and techniques of self defense. What happens in most cases is that the bully backs down. In other cases the bullied person can successfully stop the bullying. There are many good martial arts schools around the country that teach basic self defense, including more and more schools run by Christians with a Christian philosophy.

    I hope this helps.
     
  3. John of Japan

    John of Japan
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    To illustrate the self defense power of witnessing for Christ (and thus loving your neighbor), here are several incidents from my pamphlet:

     
  4. Jkdbuck76

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    John is right. I did 18 years of martial arts and never got into a fight. I've been on a 3 year hiatus.

    I was lucky, my instructor was a Christian and when I met him I was backslidden. He witnessed to me and prayed for me and basically showed me how I needed to re-dedicate my life to Christ.

    6th degree, John? In judo? Either way, you've been at it longer than I have.
     
  5. John of Japan

    John of Japan
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    Praise the Lord for your instructor!

    Yep, knowing how to fight means one almost never has to do so. One of my favorite martial arts authors wrote, "There is almost no reason in the world to fight. But there is every reason in the world to know how to fight: it gives one Mark Twain's 'confidence of a Christian with four aces'" (Chinese Boxing: Masters and Methods, by Robert Smith, p. 112).
    My 6th degree is in Temple Chinese Boxing, certified as a Christian martial art by the Gospel Martial Arts Union. I'm a brown belt in Judo, but cross-ranked 2nd black in a modern Christian jujutsu style from Australia.
     
  6. convicted1

    convicted1
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    Bro. John,

    Those sure are a lot of belts. Ever thought of using suspenders?? LOL

    Now to the OP, in school, if any of us were caught bullying anyone, mom and dad would "bully" us when we got home with a belt or switch!! A lot of this country's problem is the gov't is trying to tell people how to raise their children. They say,"don't whip your child, just give a 5 minute timeout"(where was this at when I was a child?LOL). The belt or switch did more for me than any timeout could. God chastens those He loves, and its not with a "timeout" either. We are supposed to do the same. The only "timeout" when I was growing up was when mom or dad caught their breath, and started again...LOL They whipped us and didn't beat us, major difference.
     
  7. Salty

    Salty
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    Convicted, I fully agree with you - but, at least for school teachers - I think one reason they are careful about giving corporal punishment is that some kids are actually beaten at home (under the impression of spanking) and in those cases it may be more of a determinate to the child.
    (If I am getting off topic - please start a new thread)
    So really the big problem is parents - either under use of corporal punishment or the extreme over use of it
     
  8. Benjamin

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    This most likely does have an effect. I learned from experience and have taught that to my son:

    As a teenager I was in quite few fights, but wasn’t a bully, just cocky, had some bad influences and thought fighting was exciting. At 17 a rough looking biker type guy rudely cut in front of me in a ballpark line and when I told him about it he abruptly shoved me. I got a little too excited about that, mostly because of his size and appearance and hit him with everything I had breaking his jaw and at first making me think I might have killed him; that changed my thoughts and afterwards decided that I didn’t think fighting was fun anymore.

    In the next 10 years or so I was in several more fights but only after first being provoked by a bully. The problem was that I would not back down to a bully because I had a lot of animosity for them resulting from my upbringing. I felt the need to prove myself and wanted to teach a bully a lesson should he not tolerate my not backing down; another part of the problem here was that although I wouldn’t start the physical action I would dare them to try to finish their agenda. If they so much as tried to touch me the fight was on.

    My 17 year old son is quite strong and works out on a heavy bag often, but he has never been in a fight. I have taught him that it takes a bigger man to confidently walk away from a bully while knowing that he doesn’t have to prove himself than it does to stand up to and defy him. Only if he were not allowed to walk away or if some other victim that needed help is not allowed to walk away from harm is there a reason to fight. My son knows my past but also that today I am confident enough to block a punch thrown at me and would still attempt to calm a situation without fighting back; only if I was in fear of being harmed would I retaliate. He thinks that makes me a pretty bad dude and wants to follow in Dad’s footprint. :cool:
     
    #8 Benjamin, May 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 1, 2011
  9. Jkdbuck76

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    That's right, Benjamoin. Just live the faith out in front of your son. If anything my mom always taught the golden rule and when she heard us say or do horrible things, she'd always ask "how do you think it would feel if someone said or did that to you?"

    I was picked on a lot as a kid and I was blind as a bat. I couldn't see enough to fight back and I really didn't have much meanness in me. It was much later that I developed "nerd rage" and a need to get revenge.

    I found martial arts as a help and I was blessed enough to have a great youth group where I grew up that had other kids and aults that loved me because of who Christ is. I guess what I'm saying is that there seems to be way too much violence and not enough love.

    So what really happens when you punch out someone who is bullying you?
     
  10. John of Japan

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    Well said! Many of my friends in the martial arts started out not because they wanted to be tough or hit people, but because they were bullied themselves.

    You teach him a little bit of life! [​IMG]
     
  11. John of Japan

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    I use my best brown belt for that. :laugh: It has a great belt buckle of the American flag and eagle on it. The Japanese love it.


    My problem was not at school, it was with my brother when I got home. [​IMG]
     
  12. sag38

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    As a child I stood up to bullies. I was always the runt of the class and a natural target. And, I was beat up a couple of times for defending myself. However, because I stood up and actually fought back I was left alone. Bullies go after weaklings.

    I too was spanked when I was a child and it was very effective. Of course, I used the same method on my son. But, all it does is make him madder and madder. I've had to use another method and it hasn't been easy but time out, doling out hard and dirty work (weed eating the muddy ditch behind the church, cleaning out drains, etc.) have been much more effective.
     

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