Can a christian be divorced from a non-believer & remain a christian?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Frances, Sep 5, 2005.

  1. Frances

    Frances
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    I've had many to ask this question.
    My understanding of the scriptures on this subject is that the only way to divorced is that if the mate has commited fornication.
    What is your view?
     
  2. Helen

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    Frances, if a Christian is truly a Christian -- a born again member of the family of God (John 1)-- then nothing can undo that (Romans 8). He or she may do wrong(1 John 1,2), but he or she will also be disciplined by God (Hebrews 12).

    That being said, what about divorce? There are two times when it is Scripturally allowable:

    1. For a lifestyle of adultery (a one-time mistake does not qualify) (see Proverbs 2, for example)

    2. If the unbeliever leaves the marriage and initiates the divorce (1 Cor. 7).

    Divorce was never intended by God, but then, never was sin! Both occur.

    In both the cases above, the believer who is fully divorced is free to remarry.

    What about severe spousal abuse? Separation is the better part of wisdom. Don't stick around for more bruises and blood!

    If a believer chooses to divorce for reasons of spousal abuse, God knows the heart and I don't think it is up to us to judge. Real abuse is almost a type of slow murder and I don't think we have the obligation to play willing victim! However, although I know separation is biblical, divorce in this situation is a highly argumented subject.

    But adultery? Ongoing affair(s) are biblical reason(s) for divorce.

    And, again, if you are a Christian truly, then nothing you can do will change that -- you are under His ownership, and not your own.
     
  3. RightFromWrong

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    I would add if a spouse is being abused by the other and their life or life of the children are in danger !

    I know that isn't in the scriptures. But it is a legit enough reason.

    At least seperation is in order.
     
  4. donnA

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    Once you are a christian, you remain a christian.
     
  5. Frances

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    If a born again person is in the act of fornication when he/she is called to heaven will he/she be accepted into heaven?
     
  6. bapmom

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    Frances,

    if the person is truly born again than yes, just like the others said.

    Their reception upon entering Heaven will not be what they had hoped, but they will still remain God's child.

    Just like your children are still yours when they do wrong. The fellowship is hampered until that wrong is made right, but they are still YOUR children.
     
  7. Brother Ian

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    No one can pluck you out of God's hand. Remember what the grace of God teaches us (Titus 2:11-12).

    God s divorce, but it is allowed in Scripture as discussed above. God would prefer for the marriage vow to remain unbroke.

    Why would you single out divorce as a sin that could prevent your entrance into heaven and not, say . . . stealing?
     
  8. Gershom

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    I don't see where you've come up with this belief that a one-time mistake does not qualify. Can you explain?
     
  9. Frances

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    I never said one can't get forgiveness of fornication.
    Satan has he power to pluck you out of Gods hand if you let him. You cannot blame anyone but yourself once one turns away and go back to finding more pleasure in the serving satan than God. Read Hebrews 6. and don't try to twist, add to or take away from. God means just exactly what he says!! This is one place you don't have to "rightly divide" to get the full meaning.
     
  10. Frances

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    Bapmom,,Where in the scriptures does it show that some will recieve a better reception than others? This is ridiculous!!! Either one is pure or either they're not. It is so pitiful how some people will believe anything and yet call themselves a christian.
     
  11. Karen

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    Hi Frances,
    No need to sound like you're attacking Bapmom.
    Maybe she was thinking of passages that talk about our rewards. Some will receive more rewards than others.

    Karen
     
  12. rjprince

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    A believer can commit any sins that can be committed by an unbeliever. Those sins are under the blood of Christ as far as our eternal destiny is concerned, we are covered by the righteousness of Christ. Our sins only impact our fellowship with the Father and other believers, not our eternal security in the Father's hands. NOTHING CAN TOUCH US THERE. That is the whole point of John 10:28-29 – for anyone to take us out of God’s hands, they would have to be stronger than God. Should note that the word “man” in those verses is italicized – the original apographs read “neither shall any pluck them out” and “no [thing] is able to pluck them out”.

    The Prodigal Son took himself out of the house of the father, out of the country of his father, out of fellowship with his father, out of the company of his brother, into a far country and into riotous living. BUT GUESS WHAT HE COULD NOT DO? HE COULD NOT TAKE HIMSELF OUT OF RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS FATHER OR HIS BROTHER! He may have lived like a pig, ate like a pig, smelled like a pig, and even looked like a pig. But, HE WAS STILL A SON – NOT A PIG!

    He wanted to return as a servant, but the father received him as a son, BECAUSE HE STILL WAS A SON! His inheritance was gone, squandered on wild living, but his relationship was secure as was his place in the father’s house.

    In 1Cor 11:28-34, Paul stresses the importance of examining yourself before partaking of the Lord’s Supper. To declare that we are in fellowship with the Father and the brethren by partaking of the Lord’s Table when matters are not right in our own life is to partake in an unworthy manner. Some of the Corinthians were doing just that. God had judged some of them with sickness and some of them with DEATH! (v. 30). The purpose of God’s judgement on these believers was to deal with their sin and to deal with them SEPARATELY from the world! The world will be condemned. God judges believers in this life to mark them as His own and to keep them separate from the world. They were judged now, that they would not be condemned with the world later! Two different forms of the Greek word for “judge” or “condemn” are used in this passage. The general one speaks of our chastening for sin, the intensified word speaks of the ultimate damnation of the lost. A believer shall not come into condemnation, but is passed from death to life.

    If eternal life ever ended, it really would not be eternal, would it?

    John 10:28 - And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish...

    John 1:12 - But as many as received him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name.

    John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

    John 5:24 - Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.

    As for the divorce issue, yes. Two reasons – sexual immorality, and desertion by an unbeliever.
     
  13. RightFromWrong

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    JOHN 10:27 says........My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me, and I give them ETERNAL LIFE ( that means forever ! ) and they shall NEVER PERISH; and NO ONE shall snatch them out of my fathers hands. My Father who has given them to me, is GREATER Than all ; and NO ONE is able to SNATCH them out of the Fathers hand. I and the father are one.

    Jesus even said it twice for those who had trouble understanding the truth.
     
  14. Frances

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    Oh my goodness! I am so shocked that some people even believe that some will be rewarded more than others in heaven when God plainly states that we'll inherit it all, not less to some than others.

    Indeed!! Rightfromwrong after we inherit eternal life(immortality)we can't be snatched out of Gods hands.
     
  15. Frogman

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    Actually, many Bible scholars debate whether Paul added to the words of Jesus.

    Many believe Paul was not.

    These will say the context of 1 Cor. 7 shows that Paul is speaking toward our being content in whatever condition we are called.

    Thus, were an 'unbelieving' spouse to leave a 'believing' spouse, rather than opening a door to enter into a second marriage, it becomes necessary for the believing spouse to resolve his/herself to being content in the Lord and not seek to remarry.

    Thus, there is only one reason given for divorce, this is given as fornication. Again, the disagreement is where this 'fornication' is defined. Is it 'premarital relations' that are not disclosed prior to marriage, therefore rendering the marriage to be based on falsehood; or is it 'extra-marital' relations?

    In either case, a believer remains a believer regardless of marriage, single, divorced, remarried, etc. According the Bible the particular condition only restricts possible avenues to service.

    As far as myself, I cannot judge any man or woman.

    I am thankful God has been pleased to bless my marriage to keep us together even when we have suffered 'trouble in the flesh'.

    Bro. Dallas
     
  16. Frogman

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    Dear Frances,
    1 Cor. 3 teaches concerning our rewards. As to whether these are eternal or not is insignificant.

    Even if your cup is 'bigger' than my own, my cup shall also be overflowing (Ps. 23) and thus I shall be eternally satisfied in Christ.

    Bro. Dallas
     
  17. RightFromWrong

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    Frogman are you saying its ok for someone who is being physically abused and their children, that that person should stay in the marriage? How about if the children are being sexually abused ?
    To me that would be way worse than fornication any day.
     
  18. RightFromWrong

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    Frogman how about addressing Frances misinterpetaion on being saved after we die not before ? She keeps bringing this up ?

    Why would Jesus talk to those who believed in him about NO ONE being able to Snatch THEM ( those he was talking to ) out of his father hands after they die and go to heaven. Obviously he was talking about after they were saved while they were on Earth.
     
  19. Frogman

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    Dear Sister RFW,
    I did not mean to leave the impression that was what I was saying.

    But that the view that Paul taught a 'second' means or justification for ending a marriage is not a Biblical view. Paul did not alter, nor add to nor deminish [spelling] the words of Christ.

    Paul was teaching that when a marriage is disrupted (ex. by a non-believer leaving a believer, or one who is abusive, who continually so, inmho, is a non-believer); then the believer's response is to remain unmarried. I believe this is the teaching of the context of 1 Cor. 7.

    Then, as I said, I do not judge any person's heart.

    Not a few will reject such married and divorced and remarried as members of the church; I do not.

    None of us are worthy of being redeemed nor of being members of the Lord's church.

    Remember, Jesus told those he was speaking to that Moses only gave them divorce because of the hardness of their hearts and that from the beginning it was not to be so.

    If it was so from the beginning, then it is still so, if it was given because of the hardness of our hearts, then it remains so.

    More later, Lord willing,
    Bro. Dallas Eaton [​IMG]
     
  20. rjprince

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    Frogman,

    Paul himself tells us that he is adding to the words of Jesus! "to the rest, speak I, not the Lord" (1Cor 7:12). He cited the Lord regarding staying in the marriage in v. 10, now he adds to this with the allowance of divorce at the request of the unbeliever.

    ONE Key to understanding 1Cor 7 is the word "agamos" - "unmarried" -- only used four times in the whole NT and they are all in this chapter. Paul defines it in verse 11 as one who has "departed" - "chwridzw", a technical term for "divorce" (w=omega). Departed = divorced.

    As far as children being sexually abused, that would be included under "fornication". The word "porneia" is a very broad Greek word encompassing a great variety of sexual sins, certainly including pedophilia.
     

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