Careless Women or Chaste Godly Women

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by freeatlast, Apr 6, 2004.

  1. freeatlast

    freeatlast
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    Careless living is easy. It requires little thought. In fact, that is the whole problem. Carelessness really boils down to thoughtlessness, and Christian women, whether old or young, married or unmarried, ought to be thinking women, women who are careful to keep God's commands.
    Proverbs 19:16 in the King James says, 'He that keepeth the commandment keepeth his own soul; but he that despiseth his ways shall die.' It's interesting that what is 'careless' in some newer versions is rendered 'despising' in the older. But really, when we do not take heed to our souls, we are in fact despising them, killing them. Keeping and heeding are healthy activities for the soul. Both these activities require attention and diligence.

    Carelessness comes in many forms, and the verse above uses the general term ways to cover every aspect of living. Rather than being careless of our ways, Scripture repeatedly exhorts us to commit our way to Him, to acknowledge Him in all our ways, to learn and walk in His ways. This is an all-encompassing call to obedient living. Obedience requires thought and care, attention and diligence. It is not easy like careless living.

    Christian women are careless for different reasons. It may be caused by a lack of good teaching, it may be the result of immaturity, it may be a conscious choice to push it, a poor understanding of liberty in Christ, or it may simply be hard-heartedness. Whatever the case may be, the call to careful living is the same for us all. So the cause of the carelessness is not the issue here, but rather the need to forsake careless living.

    As we consider a couple of areas where carelessness often shows up, I want to make it clear that these are not the only ones. A woman can be careless in her prayer life, careless in her theology, careless in her choice of a husband. It includes issues like study habits, cleaning habits, eating, working, sleeping. It can include how the emotions are indulged, or what kind of entertainment is allowed. In other words, if we are to take heed to our souls, we must be alert on all fronts. But with that qualifier, I would like to address a couple of specific areas of carelessness: modesty and the tongue.

    Women are careless in their ways when they dress in a manner that is too revealing. It doesn't seem to matter how often modesty is addressed, the careless woman will continue to dress to please herself, which is often too provocatively. If she knows and is wearing these clothes intentionally,and most do, she is careless. If she doesn't know and would be horrified to find out, she is careless. Whether she is a pre-teen, teenager, a college student, a young mother, or even a grandmother, the standard is the same.

    Modesty is for Christian women of all ages. It is not something that comes into effect at age sixteen, after marriage, or after the third child. It is something that is learned at the earliest age, even right out of diapers, but it is never too late to learn at any age. A careful woman dresses in a manner that not only demonstrates her obedience to God's commands, but also shows a kind consideration for her fellow saints. When a Christian woman is dressed immodestly, it is at the very least an embarrassment, or a distraction to her fellow saints and dishonor to her as well as the Lord. At the most, it is a pastoral problem for the church. A rebellious or submissive heart is seen in how we dress.

    Because of the rampant immodesty in the Church, it is no wonder some Christian women have resorted to dressing like prairie muffins in clothes that were in style in the covered-wagon days. Though they may look out of step with the modern world in a calico dress and bonnet, at least we cannot charge them with immodesty. I am not advocating dressing this way, If only we could learn to dress carefully, modestly, and beautifully. It is possible, but it takes a love for the Lord first, others second, and self third.

    A second area of carelessness is the tongue. Careless women do not take heed to what they share, what they repeat, what they criticize. Scripture is as clear on the subject of the tongue as it is on modesty. It is no mystery what the Bible requires. Gossip, slander, complaining, nagging, anger, lying are all out. Period.

    Careless women talk too much on the phone, or share too much on email. They don't speak the truth; they fudge a little here, a little there. They speak to and about their husbands, parents or others inappropriately. They talk when they should be keeping quiet. A careful woman does not share things about family, husband, parents, or children that should be kept confidential. She does not openly criticize or disrespect her husband or parents. A careful woman exercises caution in what she says. The tongue is a dangerous instrument for destruction or a powerful tool for good. Wise women use their tongues cautiously. They weigh their words before they utter them.
    Obviously, to be careful women we need much grace: grace for forgiveness, grace to keep His commands. We must take heed to our ways. We must give thought to our ways. We must pay attention to our behavior. Are we careless in our dress? If so, it's time to purge the wardrobe of revealing clothing. Are we careless with our tongues? Then it is time to repent. God expects us to be earnestly seeking to please Him, by the grace He gives us.
    http://www.credenda.org/issues/13-5femina.php

    clothing suggestions and illustrations of the feminine body in those clothes removed

    [ April 06, 2004, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: C.S. Murphy ]
     
  2. At His Feet

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    This is certainly something that needs to be addressed continually in our womens groups.

    may i add one thing.
    the key issue is this: just a keeping of the commandments that we are commanded to do we cannot do this in our own strength. the key is a relationship. one try to do all the things God commands but there will be a lack in a womans life until she knows the Love of Her Life. that Love is the Lord Jesus Christ. that is when it will be our hearts desire to please Him in all that we do. that is why the scripture speaks of the hidden man of the heart, which is not corruptible.I Pet 3:4
    when we fall in love with the Savior because He first loved us then none of this is something that we need to do but will be the desire of our heart to please Him.
    we learn of Him and realize that we are nothing in ourselves that He who has begun a good work in us is able. Able to do what? Create in us a clean heart, make us vessels of honor. Jesus changes from the inside out.
    "In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths" Proverbs 3:6
     
  3. freeatlast

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    At His Feet,
    I certainly would agree that our love for the Lord will make this possible and real. God bless
     
  4. C.S. Murphy

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    I agree but I wonder, does this not apply to men as well as women?
    Murph
     
  5. LadyEagle

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    While I do agree with the point you are trying to make, I do know some husbands who want their wives to dress provocatively or "sexy" and ridicule their wives when they don't or "look" at other women who do. And, yes, these are professing Christian men.


    The point: It is not always the woman who is to blame for immodest attire.

    I'll let you in on a little secret: Contrary to what men might think: Most women do not "dress to please themselves" but rather dress to please men, especially "their man." ;)
     
  6. Brett

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    Yes it is. Given the choice to obey her husband or obey God's commandments, she should choose the latter.
     
  7. TC

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    Men also wear immodest attire. The last time I went to a beach, I seen a very large fat man in a very small Speedo - more than I wanted to see. This man wouldn't be caught dead like that.

    freeatlast, why did you only address women? Many men are just as careless in those same areas.
     
  8. Johnv

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    I've wondered that often. Why is it that I can go to the gym wearing shorts and a tank tee, and somehow, believe it or not, the women seem to be able to control themselves. Yet, when a woman shows up in shorts and a sleeveless tee, all of a sudden, she's dressing inappropriately. Whassupwiddat?

    Perhaps the men need to spend less time berating scantily clad women, and spend more time berating themselves for not utilizing the spiritual fruit of self control.

    As for me, I'm proud to say that I'm a grown man, and have the full ability to keep my eyes in their sockets, so as to not disrespect the woman, and, just as importantly, to not disrespect myself.
     
  9. freeatlast

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    TC
    you are correct that men also have a responsibility to dress in modest ways. I believe that the way women today dress is directly related to the lack of leadership that men show. Any man who permits his wife or daughter to dress in the manners described above is not leading his family. If you feel that the Lord is leading you to present something on men and how they dress, based as best you can on the bible please do so.It is much needed.
     
  10. freeatlast

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    I've wondered that often. Why is it that I can go to the gym wearing shorts and a tank tee, and somehow, believe it or not, the women seem to be able to control themselves. Yet, when a woman shows up in shorts and a sleeveless tee, all of a sudden, she's dressing inappropriately. Whassupwiddat?

    Perhaps the men need to spend less time berating scantily clad women, and spend more time berating themselves for not utilizing the spiritual fruit of self control.

    As for me, I'm proud to say that I'm a grown man, and have the full ability to keep my eyes in their sockets, so as to not disrespect the woman, and, just as importantly, to not disrespect myself.
    </font>[/QUOTE]1Cr 10:12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.
     
  11. freeatlast

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    Yes it is. Given the choice to obey her husband or obey God's commandments, she should choose the latter. </font>[/QUOTE]Brett a godly and wise woman will do just that. However there needs to be the strongest waring to any man who does not live and lead his wife and family in all godliness. Any man who even suggests that his wife do things that are not honoring to Christ, be warned that it would be better to have a millstone tied wound his neck and cast into the sea.
    Phl 3:18 (For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, [that they are] the enemies of the cross of Christ:

    Phl 3:19 Whose end [is] destruction, whose God [is their] belly, and [whose] glory [is] in their shame, who mind earthly things.)
     
  12. gb93433

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    I believe that when one desires to live a life honoring to God he will be much more closer in his relationship so that he can better listen to the Holy Spirit. Listening to the Holy Spirit and asking God for wisdom takes a person who seeks after God first. It takes a person who is always praying and asking God. It takes a person who is rid of self and able to listen. God will give us the wisdom we need by whatever means he chooses. I personally feel that the older must be teaching the younger to honor God. By honoring God the person learns to do what is right. That may not always be in accordance with what the person is comfortable with. So often what we are comfortable with is cultural. But when we step outside of our culture we may not be so comfortable and that may require change on our part.
     
  13. At His Feet

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    i heard a saying once and i know that there is truth in it!

    "if God leads you to it He will lead you through it"
     
  14. At His Feet

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    i in no way advocate loose living either by a man or a woman. it is much easier to point out where others don't measure up. we as believers must be careful to always temper it with love. i think the best way is to be an example. actions do speak louder than words in most cases.
     
  15. At His Feet

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    i may have misread my Bible and please correct me if i am wrong. i believe that the context of these scripture is those that put confidence in the flesh. i am not sure how it applies to a man leading his family?
     
  16. freeatlast

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    At His Feet
    the term flesh is nothing but a catch all word for anything not spiritual. Men who do not lead their family are seeking to please the flesh in that they take the easy way out.
     
  17. sharpSword

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    Murph "I agree but I wonder, does this not apply to men as well as women?"

    There is not a sin or behavior that is not common to all...men and women. Men and women are to be modest, humble and so one. All are to have the heart of a servant one to another.
    I think what many miss is that first and foremost we are brothers and sisters in the Lord and all qualities and fruit of the Spirit are to apply. And that starts in a servant attitude and men not acting like a LORD over their family.

    Many so focus on the concept of women being the "qualities" listed in the those particular verses that what is missed, is these verses

    5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
    6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
    7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
    8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
    9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
    10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
    11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

    A husbands prayers are hindered if he does not also honor his wife. We are joint heirs in Christ.

    We have been married many years. My husband loves and esteems me first as a friend and sister in Christ, and he still calls me his bride. I in turn learned how to love and cherish and honor him as my husband. It took time for both of us to learn our Biblical roles and responses. But we have learned. What many seem to do is turn the issues into power things. It's not about that. It's esteeming others before ourselves. Even in the home.
     
  18. onestand

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    Free....actually being careful of how you speak does apply to both men and women. Men must also learn how to speak and when to speak about certain things. Also, men need to learn how to speak of thier wives just as much as ladies need to learn how to speak of their husbands. It goes both ways here.
     
  19. freeatlast

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    sharpSword
    I agree that men need to also be modest, but if you notice the bible does not deal with the issue in the same way as with women. men have many problems and they need to be dealt with. On is their lack of leadership. But for this discussion it is about women, not men. Someone might want to start a thread about mens responsibilities.
     
  20. sharpSword

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    Freeatlast. "I agree that men need to also be modest, but if you notice the bible does not deal with the issue in the same way as with women."

    I disagree. When God clothed Adam and Eve, He covered both their nackedness. There was no difference in need. It as a issue that was to be addressed by men and women. There is no difference in modesty needs or the issue of lust of flesh for men or women.

    Or are you suggesting that when Jesus used the example of

    Matthew 5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
    28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

    That He meant only men can look at women with lust and therefore only commit adultery, because that's all He stated? Therefore that sin can only be applied to men?

    Don't women lust after men? Or are there gender specific sins, as you are suggesting. Can men have pants falling off their butts, or sprayed on jeans, and go shirtless, but women should be covered to the ankles or whatever? Can men wear Speedos, :eek: shudder, but women should never bare even their arms for fear of tempting a man, and violating a basic modesty principle?
    Isn't that a double standard?


    1 Cor 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
     

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