Changing churches

Discussion in 'Forum for Polls' started by SaggyWoman, Oct 3, 2007.

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What are good reasons for changing churches?

  1. "My family just needs a change."

    3 vote(s)
    9.4%
  2. "The pastor didn't call me and I covered his butt big time."

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. "They don't care for __ anymore." (senior adults, in this case.)

    5 vote(s)
    15.6%
  4. "The church evangelizes, but does not disciple."

    12 vote(s)
    37.5%
  5. "Someone told me that if I didn't like the changes, I could leave. So I did."

    4 vote(s)
    12.5%
  6. "The music is too lound. The sermons are too long."

    3 vote(s)
    9.4%
  7. "The worship pastor is arrogant/doesn't treat me right"

    4 vote(s)
    12.5%
  8. "They can't use me."

    5 vote(s)
    15.6%
  9. I have a better one..... Please list.

    18 vote(s)
    56.3%
  10. There is not a good reason to leave a church.

    3 vote(s)
    9.4%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
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    I have heard a lot of reasons lately why people are changing churches. Which do you think good reasons?
     
  2. KenH

    KenH
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    You didn't list my reason - theology.
     
  3. SaggyWoman

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    I was trying to exclude that one, because that is most certainly a reason to change churches.
     
  4. David Lamb

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    I would feel I should leave a church if it started teaching unbiblical doctrine. I don't mean comparatively minor things, such as whether women should have to wear hats in church services, but doctrines which are the essentials, like the deity of Christ, and the fact that He is the only way, truth and life.
     
  5. Tom Bryant

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    like you said, wrong theology is a given in leaving a church.

    I may be different, but as a pastor, if a member isn't happy at a church they ought to leave and find a church that they can happily serve in. I have given people in my church lists of other churches that would fit their particular "happiness style" :laugh: They were leaving anyway.

    Please don't take this as an "I don't care" attitude. I try to help them, but sometimes they want a ministry that we can't have at this time, so I let them leave with my blessing and prayer.

    There have been times that this way of dealing with it has enabled the people to come back and be happy here.
     
  6. FBCPastorsWife

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    We just had a lady leave our church because my husband (we live in TN) did not travel to Kentucky to visit her in the hospital. There was no way he could travel that far for a visit and especially not by himself to visit a female! Now she's bad mouthing the church and my husband. :BangHead:
     
  7. SBCPreacher

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    I thought we were the only church that had members like that.

    P.S. IMO, she needs to get saved!! (But you'll probably never convince her of that.)
     
  8. SBCPreacher

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    The only reason I'd change churches is if the Lord calls me to another church. It's all up to Him.
     
  9. FBCPastorsWife

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    IMO your O is correct! So far the only fruits I have seen of hers are rotten!
     
  10. faithgirl46

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    My family and i were guests at a church that we weren't comfy in.
    Faithgirl
     
  11. annsni

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    Here are my responses:

    "My family just needs a change." Can you show me this in Scripture as being a good reason?

    "The pastor didn't call me and I covered his butt big time." Are you at this church for recognition or for studying the Word, worship and fellowship?

    "They don't care for __ anymore." (senior adults, in this case.) Are YOU working with this group? Are there members of this group that have no other ministry available to them?

    "The church evangelizes, but does not disciple." This could possibly be a valid point. If a church is really reaching out more to the unsaved than discipling it's own, then sometimes a church change is necessary. My husband and I were recently talking about how the churches that really focus on evangelizing and having new believers don't have congregants that grow well because there are no more mature believers there to challenge them and teach them. This might be where two churches partner - one will have the focus of evangelism and the other discipleship and more mature teaching (one having milk, the other having meat) but larger churches should have enough resources to address both groups of people.

    "Someone told me that if I didn't like the changes, I could leave. So I did." This would be valid if a church was making changes that are not Biblical.


    "The music is too lound. The sermons are too long." We've gotten a few of these. For those who find the music too loud, they stay out in the lobby during worship time (if they seriously prefer a different style of worship, there ARE other churches in our area that are solid that might be a better fit.) For the sermon - that's ridiculous. If you can't sit and listen to the teaching from the Word of God for 45 minutes, yet you can sit through an entire football game or TV show, then you've got something wrong.


    "The worship pastor is arrogant/doesn't treat me right" I'd say to examine yourself and see if what you're perceiving is correct. If there IS a problem, then it's time to begin practicing Matthew 18 and speak to the pastor.


    "They can't use me." That's pretty arrogant. There's ALWAYS someplace to be used and if there is seriously no place for you to serve, maybe look for a new ministry to start up - even if it's something as simple as delivering the tapes or CDs of the sermon message to shut-ins or be a greeter. Usually this is said by someone who has an agenda and the church won't follow that agenda. We need to be sure our goals are lined up with Christ's.


    I have a better one..... Please list. Wrong theology, undealt with sin, or why we left our old church - a deadness to the Spirit. There was NO growth in the church spiritually and the sermons were such surfacy sermons that you never left there challenged in your faith or having learned ANYTHING new. Another indicator for us was when in the youth group, the kids didn't want to talk about God and even the pastor's son was arguing that talking about God was boring when the leaders were NOT boring (the Christian kids who were growing in faith agreed with that).


    There is not a good reason to leave a church.
    I think there are good reasons to leave a church. Not every building that has "church" in the title is a God teaching and honoring, faith building, community reaching organization. If it's not, it's a good reason to go elsewhere.
     
  12. faithgirl46

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    A church needs to tech God's word as the Bible intends it to be taught.
     
  13. David Lamb

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    Presumably you are talking about young people who already are Christians. My own church has an outreach work to children, most of whom are not from Christian families, and make no pretence of being Christians themselves. Those attending at present do seem interested in spiritual things, but we have often had children who have said things like, "All this God stuff is boring." Also, having a pastor as a father doesn't automatically make a child into a Christian.
     
  14. readmore

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    When my wife and I were in Bible College, we left a church because the Pastor's son was having an adulterous relationship with one of the church teenagers at Church functions.
     
  15. annsni

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    Yes - I'm talking about young people who have atleast professed faith in Christ - but I'm not sure what state their hearts really were in. When we came to our new church, one of the things that drew us here was during the first service we attended, we saw a number of young teens go up to the organist as she played quietly during the pastoral prayer and were praying with her - and then a young woman got up to do the special music during offering and we could just SEE her relationship with Christ. Afterwards, we were hearing some of the young people - who had sat through the service - talk excitedly about the sermon. Now THAT is the kind of environment I want my kids in!!
     
  16. 4boys4joys

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    I voted I have another one so I will explain. It was hard to vote because of the options given. I could see someone leaving because of doctrine changes or maybe because of family reasons that include taking care of someone who is sick or elderly.

    I think this is a case by case thing. Hard to lump them together in categories.
     
  17. Sheila

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    God will let you know if it is time for you to go somewhere else or not. You should leave on good terms and not try to bring others with you.
     
  18. donnA

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    Since this is me, I'll answer your comment.
    I have no agenda. Other then beleiving a person should serve God with the gifts and talents He has given them. But so far I am not being allowed too. I ask to serve and I'm told theres no room, or wait, God's giving you time to rest, what 6 years! I even asked the nominating committee, they passed me up. No matter what service you do, I beleive you are to serve through your church, maybe not everything you do, but you are to serve through your church. Not sure what ministry you think I should start, but I do need the pastors approval for that.
    Deacons deliver tapes to shutins in our church.
     
  19. Baptist Believer

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    I've left churches for four good reasons not listed:

    1.) I left a big, established church because God was leading me to join a small mission church (as a rank and file member) on the outside of town and help them reach the neighborhood. The mission church tripled in size during the year I worked with them, with almost all of the growth coming from unchurched and new converts.

    2.) I left the mission church after about a year to become pastor of a very small church in a city about 50 miles away. The church was considering closing its doors because it had an active members of fewer than 10 members. Today the church has more than 100 active members.

    3.) I left the small church after two years to go to seminary and continue my education.

    4.) While at seminary, I was a member of a fundamental church for the first year. At a bible study, I asked the youth minister to give me scriptural support for a position that I didn't necessarily agree with, and he couldn't. I didn't press the issue, but he was embarassed that he couldn't support his assertions with scripture. He went to the pastor asking for scriptural support (apparently the pastor was the source of the doctrine) and the pastor took an opportunity to address the issue during the next Sunday morning sermon, calling me by name from the pulpit and declaring that persons who "believe the Bible" don't question that teaching. He declared that "on the authority of God's word" I declare to you that this teaching is true. (Of course he never cited any scripture to demonstrate that the Bible actually taught that opinion.) After the sermon, the pastor came up to me and asked if I "had any further questions." I told him I believed the Bible, so all he needed to do is show me scriptural justification for his opinion and that would be the end of it. And if he couldn't do that, that opinion was not really worth fighting over and disrupting the fellowship. He couldn't give an evidence for his belief and became very angry. Over the next few months, I was repeatedly called into the church office to answer to a bunch of anonymous charges regarding my beliefs (if the pastor and minister of education were to be believed, a number of people were reporting that I was heavily involved in the occult!) and they asked me to resign as a Sunday School teacher. I denied the charges and refused to resign. Eventually one Sunday morning, I was informed by the director of our Sunday School department that I would be teaching anymore because I was "not supportive of our church's goals and vision." I ditched the regular Sunday School lesson and gave my class an impromptu lesson on checking all doctrine according to scripture and not letting religious authorities bully you into their opinions. At the end of class, I announced I was no longer going to be their Sunday School teacher. I continued attending that church for three more weeks until the minister of education stopped me after the service and informed me that I needed to "go where my gifts and callings could be more effectively used in the service of God's Kingdom." (That's a psuedo-spiritual way of saying "get out!") So I left... The opinion that caused the pastor to overreact? He claimed that "devil can't read your mind" and I asked for scriptural justification for that claim.
     
  20. dcorbett

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    AMEN! We almost had a church split because our Pastor medically retired, and the choir director, being pushed by his mother-in-law, wanted us to consider HIM for the position of Pastor (He graduated with an online bible degree from Louisiana Baptist University) - and the deacons wouldn't consider him because a) he cannot preach, no preaching skills, he struggled when teaching Sunday School!!! and b) noone wanted his mother-in-law in a position of power.

    He and his family left as soon as we selected a new Pastor. His mother-in-law and her husband left also.....but they bad-mouthed the church and the new Pastor, and they took several young families with them. Several other families pondered leaving, but they stayed, thank goodness.

    In my opinion, if he was truly Pastoral material, he wouldn't have behaved in this manner...he wouldn've been humbled and perhaps he would've re-evaluated God's calling on his life. He has been actively seeking a church, but he told me that he won't take an asst Pastor position; he wants his own church. He is egotistical and proud....not good traits in a Pastor. Consequently, he hasn't found a church since he graduated in May.

    He tells everyone that our church is non-biblical and that's why he left. Wow, a candidate for Pastor who blatantly LIES!!! :tear:
     

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