christian dating (alone) right/wrong?

Discussion in 'Youth Forum' started by URGALPAL, Apr 17, 2003.

  1. URGALPAL

    URGALPAL
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    I'd like to know everyone's take on christians going on dates alone. I am a 22 year old female and a lot of people in my church believe that singles women should only date in groups. Their reasons is that being a lone on a date can lead to temptation. Well so can standing outside a godiva chocolate store. I just dont understand why its wrong. :confused:
     
  2. blush

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    Seems kinda silly to me. If you really aren't strong enough to resist the temptation of being alone with a person of the opposite sex... well then, you shouldn't be alone, but I think it's a sign that you need to learn some self-control. I also find that where you are is more important that who you're with - I prefer going out and doing things with my boyfriend (ie, in public, though we are by ourselves) than hanging around his house. I see that as a form of discipline which helps us avoid temptation. Either way, you can't go through life avoiding the opposite sex.
     
  3. stubbornkelly

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    I don't understand it either, really. I'm nearly 26, and I've run into the same kind of talk.

    I usually remind them that temptation is not a sin; giving in to the temptation is.
     
  4. Headcoveredlady

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    Hello Sister in Christ,
    I am a married woman, but if I could I would go back and undo all of the "dating," I did.
    We are to avoid the appearance of evil as well as evil itself.

    I know of a wonderful set of tapes on the subject of Godly Courtship that you can get for free. If you are interested please send me a pm and I will give you the link.
     
  5. Sherrie

    Sherrie
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    Kelly and Blush I have to agree with you both. I think self control is the answer, along with maturity.

    I do not understand it really. My son is 19, and I know around me he is a perfect gentleman...but I have heard the girls brag that he is too. So I do not know, perhaps it is a maturity thing.

    Sherrie
     
  6. Thankful

    Thankful
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    I see nothing wrong with a 22 year old woman dating and going out alone with a man.

    My parents were very strict, but they taught me what was right and wrong and what was appropriate behavior.

    My parents allowed me to go out alone with a boy when I became 16 and I continued to date until I married at 22. 34 years later I became a widow so again I began to date and go out alone with a man.

    I do not think during this time I did anything evil by dating. Dating alone does not mean that a couple is going to have sex.

    Dating means going places, to church, movies, eating together, having fun and getting to know each other.

    I will say that the woman or girl usually has to set the rules, but if you choose carefully the men you date, they will respect you and not try to cross any lines.
     
  7. christfollower55

    christfollower55
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    I see nothing wrong with single dating. It is hard to get to really know someone if your with alot of people all the time. You need to spend some time alone together to really get to know each other...

    God Bless America
     
  8. MissAbbyIFBaptist

    MissAbbyIFBaptist
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    Well I wouldn't, but that's me. It's not that I'm not mature, it's just that people tend to talk, and love to find out what they can against Christians. I'm not giving room for talk. I'm careful of my reputation.
    My grandma kinda pushes me about it though. Says I'll never get a boyfriend as old fashioned as I am. Well, that's fine. The one God has for me needs to accept me for what I am.
    When I get 16, if anyone is crazy enough to want to court me, then we'll see. but I'm just not comfortable in an unchaporoned place.
    Oh what most people really find funny, except those at my church, is I don't even intend to allow the guy to hold my hand! {yeah, most people think I'm insane, but that's just the way I am.}
    ~Abby [​IMG]
     
  9. Thankful

    Thankful
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    Abby, You are a darling person. You better watch out that Love Bug is going to bite you one of these days. [​IMG]
     
  10. URGALPAL

    URGALPAL
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    Well Abbey, I dont know your age ( only that you are not 16) and all i got to say is goode for you. I am 22 years old and just kissed a guy for the first time in December. We are still together. He is the one I believe in my heart that I will be with forever. You shouldn't hold just anyones hand. You go girl !!!!!!! Thats not crazy at all!!!!! Julie Elizabeth [​IMG]
     
  11. UnashamedYouth

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    for me it's accountability, and what Abby said... rumors WILL get started... not only that buy temptation can lead to LUST which IS a sin. Remember, Jesus said to even look at someone and lust after them...

    also with the rumors can come the Corinthian principle of causing a "younger brother or sister" to stumble...

    I don't date... my parents have always taught me that courting(ie dating with teh intent to marry) is better... and I agree... I'd rather have my first DATE with the man God chose for me... and not some guy I'll just have as a memory
     
  12. blush

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    I doubt that anyone, especially non-Christians, would start rumours about you if you go places alone with your boyfriend, especially at 22. In my experience, non-Christians would not see that as an issue whatsoever... even the kind who like to see what they can accuse you of, wouldn't even think of it. Accusing you of... gasp... dating someone? Pretty silly, in my opinion. Most Christians wouldn't either. The type who would see it as an issue and talk... well, they are probably nothing more than gossipers and busybodies.
     
  13. John Jacob

    John Jacob
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    Being alone with someone of the opposite sex could lead to temptation, but the Bible tells us that God will never allow a Christian to be tempted beyond what they can withstand.
    It is all about self control.
     
  14. Thankful

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    Good point, Blush. [​IMG]
     
  15. UnashamedYouth

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    yes but, that doesn't mean you WONT be...
     
  16. blush

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    Of course you'll have temptation! To completely avoid it you'd have to sit at home all day with the doors locked, and in that case you'd have completely avoided one temptation to give into an extreme case of pridefulness, which is no better. I'm not saying you shouldn't be wise and discerning. Just saying you shouldn't be naive.
     
  17. SaggyWoman

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    I know what you mean about the gossip part. I have to be careful about who I spend my quiet time with because, personally,there are some cretans I don't want my name associated with that I have been alone with. And that isn't a sexual thing, either. That is a period thing.

    I am pretty particular about who I spend my one on one time with. Not much of it has to do with temptation, though, because my wannabe man and I are careful without question.

    But even at best, there have been times where, if you are looking for reasons to talk, you will find reasons. Or if you are looking for reasons to be tempted, you will be.
     
  18. UnashamedYouth

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    I'm not being naive... I'm saying that without a good amount of accountability even the BEST Christian can/will fall.

    I also have that thing with rumors... you're seen with anyone that is a topic of what not and boom you find yourself the center of attention!
     
  19. christfollower55

    christfollower55
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    As unsyhamedyouth said "Christians can/will fall. We are not perfect...

    God Bless America
     
  20. Jeremy Page

    Jeremy Page
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    maby your future wife is worth the wait. maby God has her picked out I heard a preacher say that one time .
     

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