Christian view of dances...

Okay...I've went to several school dances with all my (now grown) children, homecoming, fifth quarter and to every one of their senior proms. These children are all Christians, none came home pregnant from the prom, of course I only have one girl. Plus, when I was a teen, in the 70's, I too was allowed to go to school dances and even dances at the local Methodist church, all my proms included. I was and am a Christian, raised by IFB parents, that taught me correctly and trusted me. Was and is there drinking at dances, YES, did I or my friends partake in the drinking of alcohol, NO...and my children always arrived home with no alcohol on their breath either, not only that when you live in a town with only 1300 people in it, I promise, if your child does something, anything...you will be told by a caring neighbor.
If there's one thing I've learned, you can't protect your children from the world, you have to teach your children how to navigate the world using the Word of God.
By the way, I danced with both of my sons at their senior proms and my husband danced with his daughter. None of the other parents attending did this but my children had no problem showing affection, as they grew up several of their friends began expecting hugs from us too.
Sue

 

Absolutely. I think we should teach them. What did I say that made you think I believed otherwise?

However, you have to remember being wise to the world does not mean participating in it. If you are honest, you know as well as I do that a teenage boy (or a grown man for that matter) is not going to be able to dance in modern prom dance fashion without struggling with thoughts. The Bible tells us to make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts. We need to take steps to teach kids why we do what we do, why there are certain things that we don't do and why we don't do them. If you want your kids to go to a dance, then by all means let them go. But be aware of the potential for problems. I think kids are growing up way too fast. Somene I know with a second grader was taking their secondgrader to a school dance. What in the world for? Second graders should be playing with trucks and dolls, not dancing.

This may well be true but at least at a banquet it is considered inappropriate to have close physical contact in a manner such as dancing.

And for Adam, I know all dancing is not sexual. If you will read my previous post, I already said that. But thanks for repeating it.

I think we as parents and spiritual leaders need to be a little wiser than it appears that many are being.

 

I agree with you Smoke Eater,that we should teach our children how to handle difficult situations,I would hope that everyone does that as they parent,but,we,as parents, have to determine that some things are just not godly or best for them. As we teach them,we have to say no to some things,but we should always have very loving communication with them. We plan on giving our children very fun alternatives and always have an open house for christian friends. There really is no reason to participate in a dances or anything else pushing physical type contact...there are many more *christian* or appropriate things to do.

As for some of the comments being made,that they went to dances and their kids did and no harm done....I can vouch for the kids that went and things *did* happen,and there was pressure to participate in things that were wrong and harmful...and it does cause feelings for a 14 year old girl to be held by a boy.It also makes a girl try to dress suggestively to get a boys attention because they want to be asked to dance.....and so on and so on.... There are reasons why it is just not best. Why go where temptation is so obvious and hard to resist?

 

I agree with you and respect your stance on this,but can I ask...how do your girls feel about your decisions,have they voiced any opposition and do they get mad at you or submit to your influence in their lives? Do they respect your biblical reasonings for not letting them go. Do they want to go? How old are they?

Thanks. I will be dealing with this in a few short years. We are going to be homeschooling for a while,so we may face it later...

 

Is it not also interesting that despite the injunctions to be separate and to not even speak of what folks do in darkness (hmm, most dances I went to were in dimly lit places) we want to expose our children to the world's junk. Yes, they will have plenty that they cannot help but see as they live in this world, but why put them in the questionable zones or areas that they do not need to know about?

I reckon square dancing is not sexual unless petticoats turn you on, but outside of that and maybe a waltz or something like a two-step where you ain't buckle polishing it would be hard pressed to say it ain't sexual if the lad is pressed up against her. SHE may not be thinking sex, but it is a very good chance that HE is enjoying the friction. As an old GI, I have known folks from many walks of life and have been in several countries and when men talk about their dancing experiences they don't talk about her footwork, but rather her artwork and the rise of their temperatures.

Folks are going to do what they want, so Carly protect yer youngin's and let the other folks rock on (by the way rock and roll is an old Southern Black term for sex). If they can do it in good conscience before the Lord then it is between them and Him. We will never solve anything in this forum.

 

This is so tough for me, because I can see it both ways. Yes we need to keep them from the things of this world but we also need to teach them how to deal with the things of this world.

We have to train a child in the way(Gods way)s/he should go. I see it this way, by training a child when s/he is small, keeping the reins tight as a child(sort of speak)teaching them the things of the bible, teaching them what is wrong and what is right in Gods eys, teaching them what to look for in this world in the ways satan will try to pull them in. This is preparing them for the future. But I also feel we have to loosen the reins as they get older. They need to experience this world when the reins are still on, incase they need to be pulled back in. When the reins are gone and they have never experienced the world its going to be a scary place for them. (does that make sense? That probably sounds wierd to you guys so I appologize for my bad way of explaining a head of time, but that is how I feel.)

The proms today aren't like they use to be. I attend them once a year with my husband. To tell the truth as a christian I feel quit out of place there. I see the good and I see the bad. But you make the prom what you make of it, not what the other people in this world make of it. I hope and pray when my eight yr old gets ready for her prom she will have a wonderful time, with other christians friends and maybe a christian boyfriend. I pray she will have a christian attitude about the whole thing. But that is how I feel about it now, I still have 10 more years to go. who knows what the proms will be like then. What I really pray for is the Lord will come before then and I don't have to worry about it.

your sis in Christ,

Chris VZ

 

Carly,

Your original question was for solid Scriptural evidence to deal with modern dancing. Since modern dancing is not specifically mentioned in Scripture as an identified activity, we must look at Biblical principles to help deal with this matter.

I was saved at age 17 and before my salvation I was actively involved in the modern dancing culture, so I am speaking from experience as well as from my position as a pastor and Christian leader.

Modern dancing has nothing to do with the OT dancing before the Lord, which someone addressed before. Therefore the problem with modern dancing (prom, etc.) must be considered in at least three venues:

1. The wrong crowd - Most dance scenarios involve an ungodly crowd with the potential of drinking, drugs, immorality and nudity. Any biblical Christian (Baptist) would find fault with such a situation.
I Thess 5:22 - "Abstain from all appearance of evil"
I John 2:15 - "Love not the world...."

2. The wrong atmosphere - As previously noted the aforementioned wrong crowd problems coupled with a low-light or no-light setting is potentially dangerous for the believer.
Eph 5:11 - "And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them."
John 3:19, 20 - "And this is the condemnation that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved."

At this point some are saying that as christians we could possibly deal with both these principles by holding "Christian dances" under the church's or Christian supevision.

However, even then dancing would not be acceptable for the following reason:

3. Physical contact of dancing - Modern dancing involves dance partners holding hands, embracing and rubbing their bodies against each other. The bible clearly warns us about such conduct.

I Cor 7:1-5 - "It is good for a man not to touch a woman...."

Modern dancing is inherently sexual and anyone who thinks they can control or regulate it is simply deceiving themselves. In my opinion the only venue where dancing would be acceptable is in the privacy of the marriage relationship between a husband and a wife.

"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

 

I was raised in a home where we weren't allowed to go to high school dances.My father is a southern baptist minister (I'm a pk)and he told us if for no other reason (and he does have other reasons by the way) , he is against dancing because a dance cost the head of John the Baptist. I always wanted to go to high school dances so when I got married and had my own children, I allowed them to decide for themselves if they wanted to attend dances at schools. Our daughter is a senior in college now and never goes to dances because she doesn't like them.She went to a few dances in high school and I can assure you my father wasn't happy with my decision to let her attend these dances. Our son is a freshman in college now and attended a few dances while he was in high school too, but not any dances while he has been off at college. This is how I solved the problem of to dance or not to dance.