Christians and divorce.

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by Jailminister, Sep 20, 2004.

  1. Jailminister

    Jailminister
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2003
    Messages:
    907
    Likes Received:
    0
    Why Christians Divorce
    Jerry Falwell
    Monday, Sept. 20, 2004
    The Ventura, Calif.-based Barna Group has released a distressing report showing that marriages between born again Christians are just as likely to end in divorce as those who do not profess to be born again.


    I find this particularly troubling because we in the Christian community have been leading the national effort to protect traditional man-woman marriage from those who wish to legalize same-sex marriages. The Barna report reveals that evangelical pastors simply must begin to more seriously deal with the issue of marriage in our churches.

    As the pastor of a church of several thousand members, I have been saddened to witness the breakup of a number of families; such situations never fail to break my heart. I fear that many believers have allowed secular notions and trends to influence their decisions on marriage.


    In our feel-good society, many often abandon their marriages when they stop being fun or when a stream of challenges enters the picture. But in the Christian life, we have a line of defense against such feelings, that being our Lord Jesus Christ, our perfect example who is capable of seeing us through any challenge.


    Nevertheless, the Barna study revealed that among married born again Christians (35 percent) have experienced a divorce, the same percentage as those identifying themselves in the study as not being born again. Additionally, the study found that multiple divorces are also unexpectedly common among born again Christians, with Barna figures showing that nearly one-quarter of the married “born agains” (23 percent) get divorced two or more times.


    I believe the most significant finding in this study is the fact that a majority of those born again participants — defined in the survey as people who said they have made “a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that is still important in their life today” — (52 percent) saying they did not believe that divorce without adultery is sin.


    I see this as a major crisis that pastors must begin to immediately address. We must take on this issue head-on from the pulpit, in counseling sessions and in all aspects of ministry in order to halt this dilemma within the church.


    Furthermore, I believe pastors must commit to getting involved in young people’s relationships before they get married. We must help them, along with their parents, to understand the commitment and responsibility a marriage requires. Lay people in the church — those who have successful marriages — can also be greatly beneficial in this regard. There must be a team effort within the church to ensure that we halt what the Barna study ( http://www.barna.org ) has discovered.


    There is much work to do though, in terms of teaching people what the Bible teaches about relationships and divorce.


    The Barna study said, “Although Bible scholars and teachers point out that Jesus taught that divorce was a sin unless adultery was involved, few Americans buy that notion. Only one out of every seven adults (15 percent) strongly agreed with the statement “when a couple gets divorced without one of them having committed adultery, they are committing a sin.”


    This is a problem that I believe naturally occurs in a secularist society — the foundational truths of the Bible are forgotten and cast away. Secularist notions then invade even the church culture.


    Throughout the New Testament, we see great emphasis placed on the “honorable” institution of marriage. These truths remain just as pertinent today as when they were written. We must recommit to teaching the principles of godly marriage, but it won’t be easy. George Barna, who heads the Barna Group, says there is no end in sight regarding the plague of divorce in our culture and within the church.


    “You can understand why atheists and agnostics might have a high rate of divorce, since they are less likely to believe in concepts such as sin, absolute moral truth and judgment. Yet the survey found that the percentage of atheists and agnostics who have been married and divorced is 37 percent — very similar to the numbers for the born again population. Given the current growth in the number of atheists and agnostics, and that the younger two generations are predisposed to divorce, we do not anticipate a reversal of the present pattern within the next decade.”


    This is where pastors and church leaders must enter the picture. Pastors, we must boldly and lovingly reach out to struggling couples, attempting to help them heal whatever wounds are preventing them from moving forward in their marriages. It will require hard work and dedication, but it is apparent that the soul of the church is at stake here. Every church suffers when members within that setting choose to divorce.


    Furthermore, if evangelical churches cannot offer clear alternatives to the secular culture, specifically in terms of marriage, we will lose our way in reaching out to a lost world. May we prayerfully commit to turning around this acute problem within our own ranks so that we can continue to be a beacon of hope to our communities and to the world.

     
  2. delly

    delly
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    660
    Likes Received:
    0
    Jailminister, this subject has been argued and reargued several times in the threads.
    I am divorced and have never been sorry for it. You see, I divorced him to save my life. I feel sure that I would not have survived if I had not left my husband, and there was no way to save that marriage. I was married for 22 years so it wasn't just a sudden whim to get divorced. God gave me the strength to get out and he has blessed me beyond belief because now I have the freedom to go to church, have so many Chrisitan friends and I am free from the abuse that I suffered all those years. I am also using the gifts God gave me for his honor. In my case divorce was the only option, so don't judge all until the circumstances are known.
     
  3. MTA

    MTA
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    216
    Likes Received:
    0
    There is no doubt that divorce is a terrible blight on our society and expecially within our churches. There is no question that God never intended husband and wives to divorce, but it was for the "hardness" of our hearts that Moses allowed it.

    I would offer that our perspective on marriage and especially marriages that are in trouble is more reactive than proactive. The best way to salvage a marriage is to make sure the God is in the matter to begin with. When a believer weds an unbeliever, it is a recipe for disaster. When couples do not seek God's will and help in securing a husband or wife, they are flirting with calamity. A good, healthy marriage requires three and that is where the empahsis of all the church's preventative activity should be focused.

    Of course, I realize that God can save souls, mend hearts, and restore minds so that issues can be resolved. However, the best medicine for ailing marriages is to be sure they both know the right doctor to begin with.

    I too have realized divorce and am now remarried. Having the formula right makes all the difference.
     
  4. Jailminister

    Jailminister
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2003
    Messages:
    907
    Likes Received:
    0
    Delly, I am not picking. This article is from Jerry Falwell and to be honest with you it appears that the problem lies with the Husband. If he is not the spiritual leader and does not lead in a Christ like way, then what do we expect.
     
  5. Plain ol' Ralph

    Plain ol' Ralph
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    686
    Likes Received:
    0
    I firmly believe if those who consider marriage, and ALL men and women should! and to prepared for that marriage, there would be NO DIVORCE! God never allowed it, but onlyMoses allowed divorce, God "hateth putting away".

    I'm afraid when we get all emotional about our poor choice of mates, we'll do anyhting to try to get around the responsibilty of that choice and somehow leave the Lord on the defendent's bench when it comes to this subject.

    Jesus,uh, God, plainly stated that "from the beginning it was NOT so" concerning divorce, anyone who argues in favor of divorce is either the victim of their own poor choice, or choices, or they simply do NOT understand their Bible.

    I belive both the man and woman should have been saved before that Covenant of Holy Matrimony, anything else is rooted in unholiness.

    So turn red in the face, get all mad, blow your lid off, it's great for your blood pressure!
     
  6. WallyGator

    WallyGator
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2003
    Messages:
    4,180
    Likes Received:
    0
    No, plain ol' Ralph,
    I'm not going to get mad, blow my lid off, raise my BP. Why? Because I've heard it and read it all before in life and on the BB and because it is just your idealistic subjective opinion. If we all had horses, we could all take a ride, Ralph!
    WallyGator

    PS Are you turning red in the face, blowing off your lid, how's the ol' BP?
     
  7. Marcia

    Marcia
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2004
    Messages:
    11,139
    Likes Received:
    0
    Our church has a ministry called Marriage Mentors, married couples who have been married for a good while (and maybe trained by the pastor, not sure about that). These Mentors are there to advise engaged couples about to be married (the pastor does this, too) and they are there for couples having problems. Many marriages have been healed this way - I think all churches should have this. (This is not addressing the more extreme issue of abuse that Delly brought up - I am not sure of the answer there but I think most marriages would benefit from a program like Marriage Mentors).
     
  8. Irwin Hawkins

    Irwin Hawkins
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2004
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Delly,
    Thanks for your post; every situation is different isn't it? I also have been through divorce. I was raised in a very consertive Baptist family that certainly didn't believe in divorce. I am 71 yrs old, and have been living alone now for 23 yrs. due to divorce. It has always been my belief that marriage was to last until death. It is easy to be judgemental towards those who have gone through divorce when you are safe, and secure in a marrage. I don't argue with the Bible for a minute, and I do believe GOD hates divorce. However I also believe whatever the circumstance GOD forgives, and washes us clean from our sin. As already stated; there must be genuine remorse, and repentance.
     
  9. PackerBacker

    PackerBacker
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2001
    Messages:
    253
    Likes Received:
    0
    What? Please explain.
     
  10. MTA

    MTA
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    216
    Likes Received:
    0
    Irwin: I absolutely agree. I am continually amazed at how readily many are willing to assign blame and guilt to those who have experienced divorce, for whatever reasons. No one argues that God never intended for divorce to enter the equation, but neither can anyone deny that the man or woman that has suffered this reality can find forgiveness and renewed purpose for their lives. To listen to many, you would think that these couples had commited an unpardonable sin.
     
  11. Plain ol' Ralph

    Plain ol' Ralph
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    686
    Likes Received:
    0
    So, I am "idealistic" for simply believing the Bible?

    May I suggest you dismount before the horseman and his rider be cast down?

    Is our Lord and Saviour also this "subjective" in HIS opinion?

    Be not unequally yoked is our mandate to obey FROM Our Lord, and SAVIOUR, so hash it out, but please use the Bible?
     
  12. Plain ol' Ralph

    Plain ol' Ralph
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    686
    Likes Received:
    0
    What? Please explain. </font>[/QUOTE]I'm so sorry you have not read your Bible as to request that I explain, but that would be the case so often . I'm afraid most read the commom tater, as in objection, or at best, in contradiction to what thus saith the LORD. Also, please note that any problem you have with the LORD is not to be taken as that of placing another brother or sister between you and God.
     
  13. WallyGator

    WallyGator
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2003
    Messages:
    4,180
    Likes Received:
    0
    OL" Ralph,
    What would you do with I Corinthians 13?
    Are you putting yourself on the same level as our Lord and Savior?
    What would you do with divorced people? Take them to the woodshed and beat them?
    Yes, it would be ideal for all to be equally yoked,but we don't live it a perfect world.
    Ralph, where's the compassion, the mercy, the grace?
    WallyGator
     
  14. Plain ol' Ralph

    Plain ol' Ralph
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    686
    Likes Received:
    0
    What you're suggesting is TOTALLY uncalled for, friend.

    I see you're just another child of contention I have had the "pleasure" OF MEETING VIA CYBERSPACE.

    I Corinthians 13? I believe it!

    Your 2nd question? Get REAL!

    3rd? Love them as Jesus does and tell them the truth! They have made a poor choice and they can find ALL the forgiveness they need at the feet of the Saviour!

    Take who to the "woodshed"? You? Well, since you seem to be jumping up and down for a spanking....

    The ONLY reason we don't live in a "perfect world" is because men sin, but that never has changed the FACT that God requires our perfection, which, BTW, is IMPOSSIBLE beyond the shed Blood Of Christ, so forget that, uh, notion, be realistic.

    You seemed to have an enormous chip on your shoulder, you need help, friend.

    The fact is that men do sin, and God knows all about it. He has provided the grace we each need, but the problem is that men only want to embrace the grace of God,instead of embracing the God of ALL grace.

    The compassions of the LORD fail NOT, His mercy endureth to ALL generations, His grace is sufficient to any need, got any? [​IMG]
     
  15. WallyGator

    WallyGator
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2003
    Messages:
    4,180
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry Ralph,
    I just don't understand where you're coming from?
    Please forgive me for my ignorance. Perhaps some of you other posters can explain it to me.
    WallyGator
     
  16. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    This is not news. Divorces in Christian demographics have continually been in line wih the national average. The rates of lowest divorce occurs in Mormon and Jewish households. Interestingly, those two groups also have the highest rates of individuals waiting until marriage to have sex.

    The fact that Rev Falwell appears to find this as a new thing concerns me, as it indicates he may occaisionally have buried his head in the sand. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for Falwell, but I think his best days as a preacher are behind him.
     
  17. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    I, three, have been divorced, and am getting married again at the beginning of the year. Having a Godly partner makes all the difference in the world.
     
  18. Hardsheller

    Hardsheller
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2002
    Messages:
    3,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    There never has been a sinless divorce.
     
  19. PackerBacker

    PackerBacker
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2001
    Messages:
    253
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey Buddy. Did I insult you? What did I do to you or say to make you accuse me of having a problem with God. How about laying off the arrogant insults and just explain a little bit more what you meant by that comment? I wanted to fully understand your comments. Who knows, maybe I would have agreed with you, after you explained. Man, look at your reply! How arrogant and abrasive.
     
  20. PackerBacker

    PackerBacker
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2001
    Messages:
    253
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey Buddy. Did I insult you? What did I do to you or say to make you accuse me of having a problem with God. How about laying off the arrogant insults and just explain a little bit more what you meant by that comment? I wanted to fully understand your comments. Who knows, maybe I would have agreed with you, after you explained. Man, look at your reply! How arrogant and abrasive.
     

Share This Page

Loading...