Christians and divorce.

I suppose this isn't Bible, eh, Ralph?

Mat 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery

Both my father and my stepfather had committed adultery against my mother on several occasions.

AVL1984

 

Are you somehow proud of that?

 

A presumed truth by only relating the partiality of the context is a deception, reality itself over-rides your conclusion, then full contextual affirmation concerning divorce is best culminated by Divine reasoning, the harmony of Scripture best delegates that my friends.

Simply READ the Bible.

Since Jesus CLEARLY says that from the beginning it was not so, When did He change?

Answer: He doesn't.

 

Man, I hope you are not a pastor. I hope your not in a position of ministering to anyone. Your lack of love and compassion speaks more of a pharisee than that of a disciple of Jesus. AVL is sharing the reality of his experience and how it affected him and his family. He is not bragging or condoning sin or divorce. Divorce is ugly, but sometimes necessary because of the hardness of men's heart. The hardness of heart you display in your posts. May the Lord replace your heart of stone with one of flesh.

AVL--Brother, don't listen to such as POR. He does not even comprehend 1 Corinthians 13. May the Lord continue to bring healing to you and use you in His mighty work.

Bro Tony

 

It figures you would avoid the question, POR. You seem to do that quite often with the typical evasion technique of asking a question to avoid giving an answer. I certainly hope you're not a pastor...your twisted views on the Bible and many other things would lead me to believe you could be a good backup for JH.

AVL1984

 

Man, I hope you are not a pastor. I hope your not in a position of ministering to anyone. Your lack of love and compassion speaks more of a pharisee than that of a disciple of Jesus. AVL is sharing the reality of his experience and how it affected him and his family. He is not bragging or condoning sin or divorce. Divorce is ugly, but sometimes necessary because of the hardness of men's heart. The hardness of heart you display in your posts. May the Lord replace your heart of stone with one of flesh.

AVL--Brother, don't listen to such as POR. He does not even comprehend 1 Corinthians 13. May the Lord continue to bring healing to you and use you in His mighty work.

Bro Tony </font>[/QUOTE]For your info, friend, ditto could be said, but then your lackluster is showing.

You seem to be quick to judge and fling accusations; TYPICAL of the devil's children.

You don't know me, and also you write into my posts that which is not there.

Thank you for your grace in responding, but I really don't expect much of that either.

I have REAL compassion on those who make the MISTAKE of responding with a hard heart, even the LORD knows the best way to deal with the hard-hearted is to break that heart.

You ever been heart-broken? I am beginning to see the trend of the negative aspect and don't see any comprehension, just further accusation, and that truly unfounded.

 

That still doesn't answer the question, POR. But, I find this typical of you. So, in that case, I will no longer be responding to you. Post all you like in response (which I know you will, and it will just help prove my point even further on what you are) but they will go unanswered by me.

AVL1984

 

It figures you would avoid the question, POR. You seem to do that quite often with the typical evasion technique of asking a question to avoid giving an answer. I certainly hope you're not a pastor...your twisted views on the Bible and many other things would lead me to believe you could be a good backup for JH.

AVL1984 </font>[/QUOTE]I have already answered your questions, you just refuse to accept the Truth.

Your post was in the form of a statement, not a question, and Scripture is your answer, not just a small portion either.

 

That still doesn't answer the question, POR. But, I find this typical of you. So, in that case, I will no longer be responding to you. Post all you like in response (which I know you will, and it will just help prove my point even further on what you are) but they will go unanswered by me.

AVL1984 </font>[/QUOTE]Ok. "WHAT" am I?

Are you called of God to now be His judge?

 

I doubt you know what compassion is. Your own words illustrate this. Your pharisee type approach to other Christians is frigthening, as Jesus had strong words for such. In your world your the only one able to judge and then accuse others of being judgmental.

Finally, I am not your friend. I hope I am your brother as I know Jesus as my Savior, I pray the same is true for you. I will not be responding to anymore of your post, because it has become abundantly clear you exist to tear apart rather than to edify.

Bro Tony

 

How can I call some one my "brother" who takes on the characteristics of the accuser?

I have done absolutely nothing to tear apart anyone. My sole purpose is to enlighten those who oppose themselves by choosing to remain in darkness.

I question your attacks against me, you answer with further insinuation and more attacks against my person. Why?

I have been friendly, and for a man to have friends he must first show himself friendly. Can you honestly say you have?

 

I would like to point out that I was a Christian when I got married and my husband said that he also was a Christian. Our downfall was a his family history of paranoia. He was insanely jealous and had all the classic signs of an abuser. He also became an alcoholic which magnified the problems. Soon after we were married, I began to see how jealous and controlling he was. I was not even allowed to attend church or go anywhere without him. Life became a daily struggle just to keep from making him angry and this went on for 22 years. When things got so bad that I no longer cared whether I lived or died, God gave me the strength to walk out the door and suffer whatever consequences that would bring. Fortunately, I had some family who allowed me and our son to stay with them for a while, but I eventually had to move (hide) to get away from him.
I want to thank those of you who have understood how it feels to go through divorce. The dicision to get divorced was not made lightly or quickly. I grieved my marriage for years and had many problems to overcome. I am ashamed to say I allowed hatred toward men to run rampant for a few years, but I finally overcame that feeling and have even entertained the idea of being married again. I am 58 years old and have been divorced for 13 years so it doesn't look like that is going to happen, but God is in charge of my life, so whatever he decides for me is okay.
I have always believed divorce to be very wrong, but there was no way to save the marriage as reconciliation was impossible in this situation. He never admitted to doing anything wrong and actually accused me of not being a Christian because I left. He wanted everyone to believe he was totally innocent, but both our families knew how the situation was and nobody blamed me at all.
I absolutely know in my heart that God gave me the strength to get out of the situation because he had so much he wanted me to do and now I am trying to do that. Being single is very hard after being married for such a long time. Life certainly isn't easy for single middle-aged adults. Fifth wheel is a commom term to describe what I feel like in a couples world and I'm sure others feel the same way.
Those of you who have a loving marriage should thank God every day for it and make sure you keep doing the things that make your marriage stronger. You don't know how blessed you really are.

 

i am just going to direct this to everyone , not to any one in particular; Give me a break! How many of you got married at a very young age? Am I the only one that was not commited to the LORD when I got married? Am I the only one who thought I was OK just because my parents were Christian? I'm not going to post an answer; I just want to see how many will step forward, and say "I am one." It's kinda like Jn.8 (My own rendition) Jesus said all you ole boys that don't have sin in your life, go ahead, hit this ole gal with your rock." "Them ole boys everyone dropped their rock, and walked out with red faces, and clenching their teeth." " Jesus ask that ole gal, "whurd all them ole boys go, aint they gonna hit-chu with a rock? She said, "No, they left, I heard one-o-them say he had to go check on a "deal" he was workin on, nuthern said, he had the tummy ache, and had to go take some milk-of magnesia, and I couldn't understand the mumblin of them others." Jesus said; "I'm not goin to hit you with a rock either, go and don't do none of them terrible thangs no more."

Hope some one will come up with a new translation in the vernacular of us southerners.
With the love Jesus gave me.
With love of GOD the Father,
With love of GOD the Son,
With love of GOD the Holy Spirit,
All three make one.
irwin
PS if this post is not excepted, then I remove my name from it.

 

Neither do I, and I spend a lot of time studying the Bible. It sounds like ole Ralph may be saying that Jesus' sacrifice is not effective.
With the love Jesus gave me.
With love of GOD the Father,
With love of GOD the Son,
With love of GOD the Holy Spirit,
All three make one.

 

Actually, the stats are for those divorced after becoming saved. I first saw this article on another list and asked that very question. The questions were posed to ask people about being divorced after being saved.

 

Marcia, My heart goes out to you. I want publicly to thank you for the email you sent me. I totally agree with you. Our brothers, and sisters just really don't know how blessed they are if they haven't gone through divorce. I have been living alone since divorce for 23 yrs. my wife divorced me, and because of my convictions for the LORD I have never intertained the thought of having another woman in my life. It's not that I don't like women, because I do. I think it's because of what people would say because I am a preacher. Even tho I have never dated another woman, I still have been acused of being in certain churches because I was looking for a woman. I am afraid to be seen in public just having coffee with a woman because of what people would say. I have even been acused of being homosexual because no one ever sees me with a woman. This is the furtherest you can get from the truth. My dear grandmother went through a living hell with her last husband because of her convictions about divorce. Her first husband past away when my mother was 11yrs. old, and she had three younger children at the time.My grandmother was a devout Church of Christ Christian all of her life. Well a few years after my mom's dad died grandmother married again to a drunk that never held a job; my grandmother took in his 4 kids along with her own, and fed them all by working at a laundry. She wouldn't divorce him, and finally he just completly abandoned her several years later; after all of her original kids, and his were married, and had families of their own. It was not easy, but my mom, and her sisters talked her into getting a writting of divorce. A lot of our Christian brothers, and sisters yet today would say she did the wrong thing by divorcing him.
With the love Jesus gave me.
With love of GOD the Father,
With love of GOD the Son,
With love of GOD the Holy Spirit,
All three make one.

 

Thanks Marcia...I had seen those stats several times and this is the first time anyone has every stated that the question was for those who divorced after being saved. I wonder if that takes into account if BOTH the husband and wife were saved.

I know the biggest shame I see in Baptist churches is the number of wives who attend church without their husbands. Some of the husbands claimed to be saved, some don't. I afraid a lot of husbands will have a lot to answer for one day for not being in church with their families.

 

Divorce is like a word that once spoken can never be retrieved. Once the judge orders the dissolution, the marriage has ended. Truly, God's desire was that we would never be so hardhearted, but we are, and not only in matrimony, but in everything else as well.

I can never undo past failures or those things that have been done against me, but I do not have to. I have a Savior that took each one of them to the cross with Him.

David fell short and sinned against God time and time again, but the Lord still referred to him as a man after his own heart. Do you believe that God thinks any less of us who, like David, turn to Him to rebuild broken lives and to heal those hurts that only He sees? Are any of us any different than the Prodigal Son who was welcomed home by his father after squandering all he had, before realizing his error? Finally, Christ told the adultress to "depart and sin no more."

Sure, divorce puts to shame the beautiful representation of the relationship between Christ and his Church. But if anyone believes that beautiful example is personified by two people remaining together at the expense of each other's sanity, their children's well-being, and the harmony of the home, then they are sadly mistaken. The example of Christ and his Church is found in the love and mutual concern between the husband and the wife, not in the legal aspects of that union. Staying in a "bad" marriage believing that by doing so you continue to represent that relationship between Christ and his Church is nothing short of hypocrisy. You either need to fix the marriage, pray that God will fix it, or get out of it. We do not honor God by living a lie.

 

MTA, what a message! Amen, Amen, and Amen again!
Will everyone thatis without sin please stand up!?
Jesus said to be perfect like GOD is. Is everybody here perfect? Is there anyone here that is perfect? Will everyone who is called a Christian please sell evwerything you have and bring the money to your local church to be distributed equally among the church? Will you please let these terroist kill you, and your family? If you will not do even one of these things, then you are not doing what the LORD tells you to do. I confess; I am failing.
With the love Jesus gave me.
With the love of GOD the Father,
With love of GOD the Son,
With love of GOD the Holy Spirit,
All three make one.
irwin a sinner, saved by grace.

 

As interesting as this discussion of divorce is I would like to point something out.

The original post was that divorce rates among Christians are equal to that of the national average and this was surprising to some people. These results are not surprising to me at all and here is why. We as Christians teach that sex outside of marriage is sin.

I remember back in my first undergraduate history class we were studying the effects of religion on New England Culture (this was not at a Christian College). The professor had us go back through the church records of a Puritan town in the 1600's. We had a list of all the towns marriages and birth dates on all of the children. Working backwards through these dates we calculated that just over 30% of these Puritan brides were pregnant at the time they were married. Now that was a real shock to us. Our professor pointed out that you could take a statistic like that and make a conclusion that this community was morally bankrupt and that premarital sex was rampant. However, if you did you would be wrong. He pointed out that in this community most marriages were arranged by the parents. If a young man and woman wanted to get married it was of little consequence, the parents chose their spouses and that was that. However, if a young woman were to be found unpure and with child, and the father of that child was willing to repent and become a good husband and father, well in that case they could be married. At least according to my professor pre marital pregnancy was about the only way young people could choose a spouse in that community, so the pre marital pregnancy rate soared.

OK, to make a long story short (to late), in our fundamental churches today we teach that sex outside of marriage is a sin (and it is, don't think I am excusing sin). So we have young people getting married too quickly and to the wrong people just so they can have sex. Then you have some who are doing it anyway and living with guilt of their sin and they marry so they won't feal guilty. Never mind that these couples have no business marring in the first place. So the result is destroyed marriages and damaged lives.

So what do we need to do to fight this? Well imho, we need to talk to our young people about sex. We need to be honest and up front with their desires and feelings. Don't make them pretend they don't feel anything and hid their sin. Give them opportunity for confession and real forgiveness. Whatever has happened, premarital sex, out of wedlock pregnancy, abortion, divorce, let us give people an opportunity to realize the forgiveness of God. Let them see our love for them and help them get their lives back where God would have them to be.

Remember God is hard on sin, but easy on the sinners. (I John 1:9)