Chuck Norris

Discussion in 'News / Current Events' started by Thousand Hills, Dec 2, 2010.

  1. Thousand Hills

    Thousand Hills
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  2. Salty

    Salty
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    What about Clarence Gilyard, who played Walkers side kick? He should also have been honored esp, since he also played for the Dallas cowboys

    Link to Walker, TR
     
  3. Thousand Hills

    Thousand Hills
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    Salty, Thanks for the link, I had almost forgotten that Gilyard played on Matlock too.

    Found this old link about Chuck, apparently him and his wife are members of a Baptist Church in Dallas, TX. Interesting life story, if I ever had time to read I might pick up his book sometime.

    http://www.bpnews.net/bpnews.asp?id=19154

    Maybe Chuck is a member here on Baptist Board? Hmm... I wonder who he is, at least I know who he is not. :tongue3:
     
  4. RevGKG

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  5. Salty

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    Chuck is a member of Prestonwood Baptist Church The pastor is Jack Grahm He has served two terms as president of the SBC. He also has a radio and TV ministry - POWERPOINT excellent program. The programs are streamed on the net. Check it out! :thumbs:

    You know, I have always wondered about Padre, I have never seen him and Chuck Norris in the same place at the same time? :rolleyes: :confused:
     
  6. KenH

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    "Walker, Texas Ranger" is one of my all time favorite TV shows. :)
     
  7. Don

    Don
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    Will this turn into a forum for Chuck Norris jokes?
     
  8. Thousand Hills

    Thousand Hills
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    Sure why not? As long as they are clean. Here's a couple.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

    Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.

    In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

    Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

    If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

    Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris can edit PDF files

    Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

    Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

    Chuck Norris' facial hair is known to cut diamonds.

    When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

    Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

    Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

    According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

    If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
     
  9. Don

    Don
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    Couple of those I hadn't heard before. Here's a few I found:

    Did you hear they were going to put Chuck's face on Mount Rushmore, but decided the granite wasn't tough enough?

    There are infinite ways to skin a cat; Chuck knows all of them.

    Godzilla was Chuck's pet fish.

    Chuck can roundhouse kick the chocolate out of a fudge brownie.

    Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Chuck Norris”

    Chuck Norris’ first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

    Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

    Chuck Norris believes it’s not butter.

    Chuck Norris CAN eat just one Lay’s potato chip.

    If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.

    Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
     

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