In the thread on divorce and remarry I mentioned that I did once deny a couple that asked me to perform a marriage ceremony for them. I did this not because they were divorced, I have no problem with that, but we can beat that to death on the other thread, but I refused because they were living together. This was not a decision I took lightly, I cared deeply for the both members of the couple in question. It was a matter of much prayer and I sought the council of other men who had helped me in the past. It was also not a decision I made when they asked. It was a decision I had made years before when I set guidelines for myself and who I would or would not marry. I will marry divorced people, depending on the circumstances. I will not marry a couple that is living together. So what do you do with a couple that is living together and wants to get married? Obviously we would rather they get married then continue living together right? But can we gloss over that sin with no repentance or acknowledgement? I can not. I gave this couple 3 options: Option 1: Get married right now. I mean at that moment right there in my office or wherever you are when they ask. Forget about the license and the ring and the piano music. Just exchange vows before God almighty and let me pronounce you man and wife. You’re living in sin. Let’s turn from that sin and fix it right now. Then, later we can have the big ceremony. We can get the license and you can renew your vows in front of your family and friends. Option 2: (my preference) Separate. Move out, separate, end the sinful condition you’re living in, and then get married. Financially this can be tough but most people have friends who can put them up for a while. I asked the couple to consider it a fast of abstinence like Paul mentions in I Cor 7:5 Give yourselves a season of fasting and prayer for your marriage. Acknowledge your sin before God and show him how serious you are by abstaining for a season. Ask for his blessings on your family and offer this as a sacrifice. You know there will be times in your marriage when you are apart for one reason or another. Show your spouse that you are dedicated to them by resisting this temptation for a season. Then when one is deployed or working in anther town or you are separated for any reason you will have that faith and confidence in each other that you will be faithful. If you can’t do without “it” for a couple months before the wedding why would I believe you will be faithful after? I have used this option before with couples that were not cohabitating but that I suspected had a biblical knowledge of one another before the wedding. I never asked and told them specifically I did not want to know, that was between them and God. But I recommended that if they were involved in a sinful physical relationship they end it immediately. Option 3: Get someone else to marry you. The couple in question went with option 3. So enough of my thoughts, what do you think. Preachers, if a couple living together wants you to marry them what is your answer. Are there other options I have not considered?