I get a lot of grief in my life because I am totally against divorce. The interesting thing is, I happen to BE divorced. I took a vow to God very seriously. If I was dating someone and discovered they were not a believer, I ceased to date them because I made a personal committment to God to marry a Christian or remain single. When I took my wedding vows I made a vow to God. Not to the state of Texas, not even to my spouse. I made my vow to the Almighty. I did the best I knew how to live up to that vow. The man I married had a personality change following a car accident, and part of that personality change included the announcement he was not going to be a husband and father any more. I get people who tell me its okay for me to "move on" and "meet someone else" because "he left" or "he committed adultery" or "the man he was died in the car accident." The problem is, I told God, "in sickness and in health," I told God, "For better or for worse." I told God, "Until death do us part." So, despite how the great state of Texas views it, I figure I am still, in the eyes of God, married. I try to live my life in that stand point. I still treat my ex with respect. I still include him in family events for the children. However, I also take the standards for leaders in God's church very seriously. I have not returned to Children's Ministry or Youth Ministry since my husband filed for divorce. Frankly, I don't think it sets a good example for children. I get grief over that. My ex teaches a Sunday School class, and people think I am "back sliding" because I don't. I don't know how you can lead children when you are. We are supposed to be their examples. I can't very well explain to them that my ex had an affair, or that he had a huge personality change for a few years and is better now. (BTW, he filed. Even after I learned of the affair I knew he was suffering a mental illness and figured if God could forgive I could forgive.) Well, now, I wonder about a lot of things. I ran into someone who told a class of single adults, all of whom were divorced, "I can show you how to be pleasing so that you won't be alone anymore." Since when was paring up divorced people the Church's job? And frankly, I would really resent being put IN a single's class for divorced people. I am told one of our Deacon's is divorced. I felt he should have resigned from the deacon board, but I've never said that to anyone but you folks here. Even though I don't blame my ex for what he did when he was having dellusions, I think he should not be teaching a Sunday School class. Am I too hard on the divorced? Am I too hard on myself? On my ex?