Divorce Sick Spouse, says Pat Robertson....

Those Are My Thoughts.....

....toooo!:thumbs:

 

Great Comment, Gina!

My first church, in Napa, CA had a similar situation. One of my Deacons had a wife in the state hospital. She was totally gone, mentally. Back in the Early 70s they didn't call it Alzheimer's, but having met her and visited her many times, she would have qualified for that diagnosis.

Any ways, this deacon had a girlfriend too, and the church totally accepted it and supported him. It took me by surprise, and at first I had a hard time understanding what he was doing, but the more I knew about his wife and her condition. I could see his side of the story. He didn't cheat, so to speak, and he faithfully visited his wife, but she had been this way for 15 years, and he needed someone to lean on and be with. While I never totally accepted this arrangement, I did not oppose it or ask him to leave his opposition, mainly because the church had accepted this year's ago, and to fight it would have been messy.

 

You Don't Offend Me, I Was A Wimp....

.....and I agree with you. However, it was my first church. The old senior pastor was always breathing down my neck, and I did leave the church after eight months because I felt like I was more of a puppet pastor. The ex-pastor, who lived next to the church, was actually still in command, calling the shots, and that left me with little that I could do to change the way things were. :tear:

I was so disenchanted, frustrated, and angry that I left the church because it refused to accept my authority as pastor.

As for the deacon in question, I did object, but as I said, it got me no where, and only made for a messy situation that I was going to lose on. Like they say, is this really the hill you want to die on? This is but one of the several reasons I didn't last more than eight months. I couldn't look myself in the face with what this church was doing.

My denominational pastor board, helped me to get out and find a more suitable position, but, they wanted me to lay low and leave the church problems to them. As far as I know, the church fell apart after the old senior, ex pastor, regained the pulpit (so the district really did nothing after all) and died a few years after I left. Forty years later, the church still sits boarded up anc vacant. How sad. But, the words Ichabod have been written by the Holy Ghost over the doors of that building!

Yes, it was a den of hypocrisy, and I knew I couldn't remain there. raying: It was just a matter of finding a more suitable position, and leaving as soon as I could!

As a young, first church pastor, I had my hands tied, and and heart full of things that just didn't make sense or meet the criteria of the Word of God as I came to understand it.

I wish I could have been stronger, but it was a bad situation all around, and when I questioned it, I was threatened. I started looking for a new church within the first 60 days of being there, and it took a while to interview and be voted into another church.

You must remember. I had a wife and two young children, and I lived in the parsonage. They told me if I continued to make waves over that and several other issues, I could turn in the keys, and get out of town within 24 hours.

I did the best I could with what I had, and I learned a ton of lessons in those eight months. All in all, I came away from there a stronger person, because I made a stand, resigned as soon as I could find a suitable position to transfer to, and I did let the area administrator know what was going on; what good that did, as they put the old pastor back in charge, even after I left them a written report of the problems I encountered there!!!

The trouble is, this deacon was well respected throughout the district, and I did not make friends by making my opinion known.

I had no other choice than to leave Northern California, and return to Southern California. The only job that opened up for me was school administrator and assistant youth pastor. However, it was like a big monkey lifted off my shoulders when I finally left Napa.

I did not condone the man's sin. However, I also knew that to continue to condemn and question it was like opening up a can of worms that I did not have the experience to handle.

believe I did what was best for my family, myself and my career? In the end, I was branded as a non team player by the northern California District, and other churches were told that I was not a someone who could be trusted to play ball with others.

Once I got out from under that church and district, my abilities spoke for themselves, and God gave me favor and blessings in my career and other doors did open for me.

One more thing. I left that particular church denomination three years after I moved back to southern California. That particular branch of the church was filled with hypocrisy and very difficult to work with if you had any integrity at all.

So I don't disagree with your words of judgment. However, there was more behind the story then I share in the post you first read. I share it here because you need to know the kind of pressure I was under, and while there is no good excuse, you need to remember that I was young and left hanging out there with very little support.

Thanks for your comments. I hope you can better understand what I went through.

Pastor Paul :type: