Homosexuals as Friends

Discussion in 'Youth Forum' started by BobTheBeliever, Dec 8, 2003.

  1. BobTheBeliever

    BobTheBeliever
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    Dear Friends of Christ-

    I pose this question to you as a new member of the board, as well as a concerned student.

    Recently, I have had a friend of mine "come out of the closet" and express to me their homosexual feelings. Due to the controversy and touchy nature of this subject, I have been praying over it for several days. However, I turn to you, my brothers and sisters. How should I proceed?

    I believe that the Lord Jesus loves my friend very much, but is this a phase? If my friend proceeds down this path I'm afraid he won't know the glory of heaven!

    Please advise.

    In His love,

    Bob :confused:
     
  2. BrianT

    BrianT
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    Love him, love him, love him! Don't condone it, but love him!
     
  3. Johnv

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    I have a few gay friends. They know my position on the topic of sex outside of marriage. I love them just the same. We get together and do things like I do my other friends. Some of them have gone to church with me from time to time.

    I don't point the finger at them. Instead, I share my heart with them.
     
  4. just-want-peace

    just-want-peace
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    The old hacknayed phrase still applies: "Love the sinner, hate the sin." It's old, it's worn, & it's been dissected and abused, but it's still true.

    Many of the theologically liberal cannot, or will not, believe that this is possible, but I personally believe that this is EXACTLY what Jesus did!

    Just keep praying, and be ready when the subject is broached to give the biblical view; not only the love of God, but His JUDGEMENT as well. Either without the other is warped and NOT the true GOD we worship and serve!
    edited for grammer
     
  5. Baptist Believer

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    Yup. I know what that’s about. I’ve had two friends over the years confide in me their struggles with sexual orientation.

    That’s an excellent start. Pray for great wisdom and insight into your friend’s situation. Also pray that the Holy Spirit will use you to bring blessing into your friend’s life. Furthermore, ask God to help you with your possible prejudices against this kind of sexual/gender confusion.

    That’s a tough one, but here’s a place to start. Emphasize that, as far as you are concerned, your friendship is stronger than his homosexual urges. If your friendship is broken, it will have to be for other reasons.

    Next, find out if he wants to change. Through a long process of spiritual and emotional healing, it is possible for persons with homosexual tendencies to find freedom from their sexual confusion.

    Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. It is my understanding that lots of teens and young adults experience some gender confusion based on issues of previous sexual abuse, the fear of the opposite sex, feelings of inferiority, the inability to find approval for male figures in their lives, and genetic predispositions to this kind of problem. (NOTE TO THOSE WHO ARE WAITING TO CONDEMN: I didn’t say that homosexuality is purely a matter of genetics.)

    God knows his heart and will judge righteously. It is a very good thing that you are concerned for him and since he has “come out” to you, you have an opportunity to help him find healing in Christ.

    I would be honored to discuss this matter further with you through PMs if you are interested.
     
  6. Johnv

    Johnv
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    Let your actions, not your words, be your witness. First, give credit where it is due. Your frieds came to you because they could entrust you with where they are in life. COnsider this an honor that they thought so highly of you that they could entrust these facts with you. Not an easy task. Clearly, they thought that youweren't going to fingerpoint at them. They already must see you as a loving Christian. Continue to be just that. Consinue to be their friend, as you had been before. Don't worry about the rest of it, and let the Holy Spirit do His thing in their lives (and for Pete's sake, don't rush the Holy Spirit. I've seen many a person turn away from Christian friends because someone decided they "needed to get saved right now, this very minute, not a second later").
     
  7. Shiloh

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    Love them, Love them, Love them, and "fellowship" with them. For crying out loud don't turn them away!! Invite them to church and sit with them. Let them know you won't have sex.....out side of "marriage"? Please don't push Christ on them and rush the Holy Spirit....as so many have been turned away. Show them some Scripture...slowly and make sure it's not the KJV and you might not want them to study Romans 1:21-32 or Genesis 19. They might not understand like us godly Baptists that God dosen't mean what He says! You my uninformed friends will go down in eternity with the same testimony as Lot in II Peter 2:7,8.
     
  8. Roy

    Roy
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    BobTheBeliever: I realize that this is the youth forum and I am an old guy, but the thing that you are describing here concerns me.

    Pray for your friend, witness to him, and show him the scriptures, especially Romans Ch.1 KJV. (KJV is not gay-friendly and neither is the One who rained fire and brimstone on Sodomites.) If this friend accepts Christ and repents, his sin will be cast into the sea of forgetfulness and God will make him a part of His family. Until this individual changes, keep your distance from him and let him know why it has to be that way. You don't want anyone to think you are a homosexual by your association with him. When witnessing to him, take other believers along with you.

    I have two sons, and I think that I have told you about the same thing I would have told either of them. Don't give the individual in question the idea that homosexual behavior is acceptable in any way. As long as he lives that lifestyle and thinks that it is OK, the prospect of going to heaven will always elude him.

    Roy
     
  9. Joshua4KJV

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    Homosexuality is the most ungodliest vilest nasty abhorring thing there is. Wicked in the site of God, makes the earth vomit!! Have NO fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but rather reprove them... Break fellow ship man, tell him to turn or burn, repent or perish.

    Joshua C.
    Luke 1:75 (AV1611)
     
  10. casio_beats_mean_streets

    casio_beats_mean_streets
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    Joshua,
    I really hope you were being sarcastic is your last post. You use some pretty colorful lines- "...makes the earth vomit!!"
    It is because of intollarence like this that people hate Christians so much. How can you say that homosexuality is "...the most ungodliest vilest nasty abhorring" thing there is?? Being a straight man I can understand how the act is a little disturbing, but is it really the vilest thing? What about murder? What about rape?

    Rejecting someone because of their sexual preference is spiritualy a horrible thing to do.

    I hope you will reevaluate your "fundamentalist" stance on this issue.
     
  11. Guitar25

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    all i can say is to pray for them and love them th same as you always have, because it could help lead them out of it. I have a friend on the net who is bisexual but she is trying to walk closer with god and im helping her try to get off that path. Just pray for them and help them along.

    -Jared
     
  12. Debby in Philly

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    A good point might be that with God, there really is not degree of sin. Homosexuality is no better or worse than murder, stealing, or lying. So when you witness, be sure he knows that neither you nor God are picking him out for different treatment than the rest of us sinners, saved by Grace!
     
  13. Baptist Believer

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    Actually, self-righteousness seems to irritate God quite a bit more than those trapped in their sins. Look at the example of Jesus… He spent quality time with those who were rejected by the religious crowd because of their sinful lifestyle or habits.

    I think you mean “sight” of God. [​IMG] I didn’t realize that the earth “vomited” because of sin. That’s an interesting image… do you have a reference for that?

    I certainly don’t think anyone has advocated him having fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead with one who is facing temptation toward participating in those works.

    I’m going to assume that you are also someone who faces temptation to sin. By your misuse of this verse, you are advocated that no one should have fellowship with anyone else who faces temptation… and that’s ridiculous.

    Since our friend who we are advising professes to be a believer, he does not have the right to distance himself from someone who is facing this struggle and has reached out to him. The example and words of Jesus are clear. What you advocate sounds very much like the attitude of the Pharisees whom Jesus repeatedly condemned.

    That sort of unbiblical and unchristian reaction will likely drive him away from Christ and cement him in his sins. You don’t sound like you want this friend to find freedom in Christ. :(

    Unfortunately, that doesn’t surprise me in the least. But even your King James (whatever revision you actually use) is very clear on this issue. I suggest you take some time and read the gospels to see how Jesus handled sin.

    Grace and peace.
     
  14. Shiloh

    Shiloh
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    Do you kids really believe what you are saying? Do realize the homosexual person isn't trapped in their sin...they chose this sin, Rom.1:21-32. For THIS sin God GAVE THEM UP. I can't believe this board.....it's supposed to be a BAPTIST board. One would think a baptist is a saved person. Obviously that's not the case here. Do you kids know what a homosexual is and what they do? YOU BETTER WATCH OUT CONDONING SOMETHING GOD HATES. Homosexual people have violated a principle of God, Eph.5:22-25 notice the principle of marriage here verse 32. When you violate a principle of God you pay a supreme price.
     
  15. Johnv

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    :confused: For God so loved the world, except for homosexuals, that he gave his only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, except for homosexuals, who will perish anyway.

    If we made a list of everyone who committed a biblical abomination, we'd all be on it. If we made a list of everyone who has committed a sin because they didn't think it was a sin, we'd all be on it. If we made a list of everyone who has yet to repent of all their sins, we'd all be on it. If we made a list of everyone who was undeserving of God's love and Christ's salvation, we'd all be on it.
     
  16. Johnv

    Johnv
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    It gets worse.

    Sexual sins of any kind are considered abominations to the Lord. See Leviticus 18:18-30 (especially v27 on), which refer to "all these abominations". Note that various kinds of sexual activities out of marriage have been mentioned. A similar list is repeated in Lev 20.

    The levitical laws also forbade remarriages of divorced couples (Deut 24:1-4).

    Dishonest business practices are named as an abomination in Deut 25:13-16, Prov 11:1 and Prov 20:10.

    Oppressive treatment of others and a haughty attitude are considered as abomination in Prov 3:31-32, and a "froward heart" is again mentioned in Prov 11:20. (I wonder if some of the actions of our Christian brethren towards gay people might not fall into these categories).

    A list of six abominations are also given in Prov 6:16-19: These six things doth the LORD hate: yes, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaks lies, and he that sows discord among brethren.

    Wickedness is equated with abomination in Prov 8:7.

    Lying lips are mentioned in Prov 12:20.

    A proud heart is mentioned in Prov 16:15.

    Those that justify the wicked or condemn the just, as well as scorners are abominations in Prov 17:15 and 24:9.

    Prayer, if it comes from one who turns his ear from hearing the law, is an abomination in Prov 28:9.


    Who can claim innocence from all these abominations? Certainly not I. I am a sinner like everyone else, gay or straight. So be right to call sex outside of marriage (including homosexual behavior) a sin. But let us not think that the sins of others is any less of an abomination to God, lest we be guilty of another abomination before God.
     
  17. Walls

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    We have family members that are sodomites. Two of them have died of aids. The other flaunts their lifestyle and even attempts to kiss my teenage boys. That is totally sick. Why on earth would a saved person tell a young soul to love a sodomite? That is exactly what the sodomite wants.

    It is not necessary to pass condemnation on this person, rather show him the scripture concerning the issue, explain to him that you will be there if he desires to repent and give his life to the Lord, but other than that you cannot have fellowship with him. If you believe that sodomy is wrong and against scripture and you continue to be a friend to this person you may be persuaded to think otherwise. Is your walk with the Lord worth this risk?

    Yes, Christ loved the sinner, but He also called everyone to repentance!
     
  18. Shiloh

    Shiloh
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    "For God so loved the world, except for homosexuals, that he gave his only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, except for homosexuals, who will perish anyway.

    If we made a list of everyone who committed a biblical abomination, we'd all be on it. If we made a list of everyone who has committed a sin because they didn't think it was a sin, we'd all be on it. If we made a list of everyone who has yet to repent of all their sins, we'd all be on it. If we made a list of everyone who was undeserving of God's love and Christ's salvation, we'd all be on it".

    TELL IT TO LOT AND THE REST OF THE CROWD IN GENESIS 19
     
  19. Johnv

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    Most of your married friends are sodomites. I fail to see the correlation.

    As you know, that's a terrible way to die. But as you know, HIV knows nothing of a person's sexual preference. I've had a friend die of it (heterosexual). HIV is most commonly transmitted through unprotected sex and the sharing of drug needles. eterosexual teens are the fastest growing group infected by HIV.

    No one, be they heterosexual or homosexual, should be flaunting their sexuality. Neither should a person be trying to kiss someone who's underaged, whether they're gay or straight. It's simply wrong on all counts.

    You're confusing eros with agape. You and I, as Christians, are commanded, not requested, to love a person, whether he/she is a homosexual or heterosexual.

    Why? I have some heterosexual single friends who have had sex with their girlfriends. I don't think it's going to turn me into a fornicator. I have Jewish friends. I'm not in danger of disavowing Christ as my savior any time soon.
    It's not "BUT". It's "AND". Jesus did both. One was not contingent upon the other. But as far as us, Jesus calls us to love. Jesus calls us to repent. Jesus does not, however, call us to call others to repent. That's his job. Our job is to love, and we can't even do that. Let's not try to do what is someone else's job.
     
  20. Johnv

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    S & G were not destroyed because of homosexuality. That's a common misconception. That's been discussed here a few times, and probably should not be discussed on this topic. However, whether they were or weren't doesn't make homosexuality any more or less of what it is. One sin in many, not more, not less.
     

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