Honour your parents

Discussion in 'Baptist Theology & Bible Study' started by Salty, May 10, 2009.

  1. Salty

    Salty
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    Mat 19:19 Tells us "Honor thy father and [thy] mother:..."

    Obviously, a young child is to obey his parents (Eph 6:1) , but what about an adult - an adult over 25 years old living away from home and with a family of his own. Is that adult child required to Honor and/or obey his parents?

    Are there exceptions?

    Thoughts,
    Salty
     
  2. ~JM~

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    We are to honour our parents always...:jesus: (click the Jesus sign)

    Gill:

    Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother, &c. Which is the fifth commandment of the decalogue, but is the first commandment with promise, as the apostle says, Eph_6:2 and is the first of the second table: this, though it may be extended to all ancestors in the ascending line, as father's father and mother, mother's father and mother, &c. and to all such who are in the room of parents, as step-fathers and step-mothers, guardians, nurses, &c. and to all superiors in dignity and office, to kings and governors, to masters, ministers, and magistrates; yet chiefly respects immediate parents, both father and mother, by showing filial affection for them, and reverence and esteem of them, and by yielding obedience to them, and giving them relief and assistance in all things in which they need it; and if honour, esteem, affection, obedience, and reverence, are to be given to earthly parents, then much more to our Father which is in heaven, Mal_1:6.

    that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee; that is, the land of Canaan, which he had given by promise to their fathers, and was now about to put them, their posterity, into the possession of: this further confirms the observation made, that this body of laws belonged peculiarly to the people of Israel: long life in any place or land is a blessing in itself, not always enjoyed by obedient children, thou obedience to parents often brings the judgments of God on persons; so that they sometimes die an untimely or an uncommon death, as in the case of the rebellious son, for whom a law was provided in Israel, and Absalom and others, see Lev_20:9 Aben Ezra takes the word to be transitive, and so the words may be read, “that they may prolong thy days”; or, “cause thy days to be prolonged”; meaning either that the commandments, and keeping of them, may be the means of prolonging the days of obedient children, according to the divine promise; or that they, their father and mother, whom they harbour and obey, might, by their prayers for them, be the means of obtaining long life for them; or else that they, Father, Son, and Spirit, may do it, though man's days, strictly speaking, cannot be shortened or lengthened beyond the purpose of God, see Job_14:5 the Septuagint version inserts before this clause another, “that it may be well with thee”, as in Deu_5:16 and which the apostle also has, Eph_6:3 and where, instead of this, the words are, “and thou mayest live long on the earth”; accommodating them the better to the Gentiles, to whom he writes.
     
  3. Jon-Marc

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    How do you honor a wicked, perverse parent? How do you honor a parent who beats you regular and constantly bombards you with criticism and put-downs? How do you honor a parent who molests you? How does a Christian child honor a parent who is a thief and a pathological liar?
     
    #3 Jon-Marc, May 10, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2009
  4. Salty

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    Thus the reason I added the phrase "Are there exceptions?"

    But I was thinking along different lines.

    For example a few years ago, my wife and I (& we are both well over 35" looking for a new apt. We found one that interested us. My mom said "NO WAY". She then gave us her reasons. Now for different reasons we did not take it, but suppose we did decide to move in that apt. Would we be dishonoring my mother?
     
  5. Amy.G

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    Of course not.

    Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

    Once you are married, your relationship with your wife trumps that of your mother.


    One of the best ways for an adult to honor his parents is to not dishonor them.

    Jesus also rebuked the Pharisees for using their alms giving as an excuse to turn their backs on their elderly parents. We honor our parents by being there to help them when they become old or sick.

    We can still honor even wicked parents by not dishonoring them. Their own behavior is quite enough for that.
     
  6. ~JM~

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    Obeying your parent is only one way to honour them. If they ask us to do something unbiblical or there actions are not God honouring then we are not expected to honour our parents with blind obedience, rather, we honour their position as our parents.

    In your situation you are no longer a child under their care and are now the head of your own house. Honour you mother by carefully considering her council and making the best decision for you and your wife.
     
  7. annsni

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    We are to obey our parents as long as they are our authority but once we leave our homes to marry our spouse, we are no longer bound to obey them but must obey our husbands - or obey the Lord if one is a husband. However, we must always honor them - but that doesn't mean that we need to get abused or anything. We are to never disrespect them and we are to treat them kindly. That is just what we are to do with any other person around, IMO.
     
  8. Thinkingstuff

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    What if you're 30 not married and living outside of your parents house? Then what? What if your Mother and Father Keep nagging you to get married? Set you up with all sorts of dates that you're just not interested in. What if they really want grandchildren and you just want to make money and spend it on yourself and not get married and be craddled with that responsibility or that for children? What if you just want to do your thing. Work your job and not participate in the whole marriage/children thing and your parents keep nagging you about it? Should you honor them there?
     
  9. ~JM~

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    So, what is the reason behind the "nagging?"
     
  10. Thinkingstuff

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    Not being married or having Grandchildren. However, that was me at 30 not now.
     
  11. Jon-Marc

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    I made the mistake of marrying the woman my parents wanted me to marry, and because my dad accused me of being homosexual for not having sex before marriage. I wasn't bold enough to tell him that unlike him I had some morals. Marrying that slut is one of my biggest regrets.

    My daughters have given me nothing but heartaches since their teens. They are 35 and 38 now. The older one wants nothing to do with me after I made the mistake of trying to help her with her emotional problems. I never hear from the younger one any more. My grandkids have probably forgotten me.

     
  12. Thinkingstuff

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    Wow! I am very very very very very sorry for you. Fortunately, My Father never accused me of that and it wasn't used. My parents only real rule for the right girl was that she had to be an American because "everyone else wanted to ride the gravey train". Which was difficult for me since most of my early life up to the age of 30 was spent in other countries. But when I wasn't married by 25 it was pure hell talking to my parents. I'm am sorry for you or that your wife was not faithful.
     
  13. ~JM~

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    Did you stop honouring them because they nagged you?
     
  14. Thinkingstuff

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    I didn't get married like they wanted me to when they wanted me to.
     
  15. ~JM~

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    It sounds like they just wanted you to grow up and get out...(sarcasm)
     
  16. Thinkingstuff

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    I had been out of the house since I was 19. I was living in a different country and totally self sufficient. So there was no getting out to speak of. Still they wanted me to get married and have grandchildren. Sorry but as a self sufficient adult is their an issue there of not "honoring" your parents? In other words. No way Mom Dad I'm not getting married! No grandchildren for you.
     
  17. ~JM~

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    :saint: It was a joke...
     
  18. Thinkingstuff

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    You are a saint. And It's always hard for me to translate text into spoken language. Even with all the bells and whistles. It was probably best I was gone at 19. I may have ended up like John Marc. I still feel bad for him.
     
  19. Harold Garvey

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    According to the Bible, once one has found a mate we are to leave father and mother and cleave unto our mate. Sometimes we may only appear to dishonor our parents wishes when we have previous obligations to perform/ taking care of our own families.

    Once leaving the nest one is out from under that requirement to obey their every wish.
     
  20. drfuss

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    drfuss: I think that this thread has addressed one aspect of the commandment to honour your parents. I believe the main point of the commandment was to ensure that parents are cared for when they are old and could not care for or provide for themselves. There were no government programs to care for the old. That was to be the responsibility of the children. Consider what Jesus said about this commandment.

    Matt. 15:4-6
    "4 For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. 5 But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; 6 And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition."


    Mark 7: 11-13
    "11 But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. 12 And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; 13 Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye."

    The grown children were to lay aside assets so they could provide for their parents when they got too old to take care of themselves. The Pharisees said that if the children give that money to the "church", They no longer have a responsibility to honour their parents.
     

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