How much control of your life is a Pastor supposed to have

Discussion in '2000-02 Archive' started by 1611, Sep 3, 2002.

  1. 1611

    1611
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    My Pastor wants complete control of my life, what i wear at home, what to watch on tv etc. What do you think?
     
  2. Grace

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    power hungry?
    We have a minister of music that wants to dictate what we can watch, what the girls can wear, what we can do in our spare time, and who we can spend our spare time with. It's almost like he wants to hole us up away from the rest of the world and watch it go on without us...Sorry, that hit close to home.
    I'll be praying for you, but I don't really know what to tell you to do.
    I know i wasn't much help. Sorry.
     
  3. Rev. Joshua

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    I think you need to find another church - quickly.

    Joshua
     
  4. Wisdom Seeker

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    I personally used to feel much as you have said that you do...that my Pastor was trying to be contolling... Or that I wasn't being treated like an adult and allowed to make my own decisions. I realize now that He's just doing the job the Lord appointed him to do. To encourage his congregation to strive to be the most godly and christ like that they can be...and to admonish against anything that would take a less grounded believer off the path of righteousness.

    A Pastor is held accountable for how he shepherds the congregation. He's the under-shepherd. He's just doing the job that God appointed him to do.

    Have you tried talking to you Pastor about your concerns? Ask him to explain in more detail why he speaks against the things he does? Maybe it might help.

    In the end... you have the free will to chose what direction and decisions you make regarding your life.
     
  5. Abiyah

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    I once had a similar pastor--in fact several of
    them. What I have learned over the years,
    though, is that the truly good pastors do not
    need to sink to such tactics.

    I suppose that there are people who need to
    have such control in their lives, because they
    do not have personal discipline, but that is not
    most of us.

    If you truly do have high personal values and
    personal discipline, it is not necessary for him
    to interfere. Then, if you like the church, why
    not just tel him that you have your own values
    and he does not need to worry so much about
    you. If he will not hear you, then I would move
    on to a church which is not so intrusive.
     
  6. Pastor_Bob

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    Any Pastor who clearly understands the principle of personal accountability to God will preach and teach that God wants complete control of your life, what you wear at home, what to watch on TV etc...

    It is my responsibility as Pastor to preach the Word of God without compromise, without watering it down, without turning down the temperature, and above all else, with love.

    When I preach the Word of God to my people, the responsibility is then in their hands to respond to the truths that God has revealed to them. I am not a standards police. That is between them and God. My job is to preach in such a way that when they stand before God, they will not be able to say, "My preacher never told me that! I didn't know I was supposed to (do/wear/not wear/look like/act like) that.

    A part of preaching the whole counsel of God will include unpopluar themes at times. We are to speak the truth in love.

    Pastor Bob
     
  7. Abiyah

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    Ah, but Pastor Bob! You SHOULD preach the
    word from the pulpit, preaching it as straight
    as you can! I am thankful for the pastors who
    do this and have no time for those who do not.

    Perhaps because of my own history, I took the
    original poster to mean that the pastor goes
    far beyond preaching and teaching. I have had
    pastors who told me I could not wear certain
    clothes just because they did not like them--
    like those long skirts that went to the ankle
    (back when I wore skirts), the midi skirts when
    they came out in the '60s or '70s (I wore no
    slits). I had one who told me I had to wear
    coulottes to work underneath my car, one who
    told me I could not wear knee-length cut-offs
    to wash my car, and I even had people think
    I was evil to wear black and red together!

    I THINK this is what the poster was referring
    to--intrusive pastors, not pastors who preach
    the Word.

    If, however, a member is living in sin, the pastor
    NEEDS to get intrusive!
     
  8. Wisdom Seeker

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    Pastor Bob, Exactly my point. Glad you were able to articulate it from the Pastors responsible point of view. Very, Very well put.
     
  9. Abiyah

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    WisdomSeeker --

    I read on another thread that you had been born
    into a pentecostal church. Was it UPC? I know
    they are pretty controlling. Do they harass you
    for leaving? Was it hard to get out? What
    brought you out? Do they think of you now as
    lost? Are family gatherings difficult?
     
  10. SaggyWoman

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    I already have the Holy Spirit in my life and don't need my pastor to act like he is.

    I love my pastor, but if he preaches the word, and goes with that, the Holy Spirit is free to act in my life.
     
  11. hrhema

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    I cannot answer for Wisdom Seeker but I came out of the Oneness movement and yes they are pretty controlling. None of my family was part of that so it was not hard to leave.

    Due to this background I do not believe a pastor has the right to control his people. He can preach from behind the pulpit right and wrong, and other things but as far as demanding strict obedience that is dictatorial and way beyond their job. YOu cannot legislate morality even in a church. You can preach an uncompromising message. Yet I found when I was in the Holiness movement that the majority of the people followed these holiness standards out of fear. Fear of judgement or fear of Hell.

    In a UPC church most of their pastors want to know every move you make. They tell you what you can and cannot wear. Where you can go and cannot go. I believe God has given each of us a conscience.

    The United Pentecostal church believes that their harsh standards prevents sexual sins from happening which is not the case. The number of unwed mothers in this group is just as high as any other church group. I think it is a shame that any church group would have this problem but these things come from the heart. You can enforce standards of dress but if the heart is not right they still will sin.
     
  12. Sherrie

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    Are you Pentecostal? Find another Church! The only One who should be in control of your life should be God!

    Once again Joshua...we agree!

    Sherrie
     
  13. Thankful

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    I agree with SaggyWoman and Sherrie.

    Our pastor is there to preach the word and guide us, not dictate to us.

    We must seek God's Will in our Daily Walk.
     
  14. hrhema

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    Let me make this clear. I have done this more than once. I came OUT OF THE ONENESS MOVEMENT.
    I attend a Baptist church. I have been out of that movement for 7 years.
     
  15. Abiyah

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    Rhema --

    I think that Sherrie and Thankful were writing to
    1611. It is just that such groups do tend to be
    controlling.

    Rhema, how do your old friends treat you? Hhas
    your old pastor ever called and asked you to
    come back or harassed you for leaving?
     
  16. hrhema

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    I have one friend who treats me fine. The people when they see me speak but that is that. My old pastor tried once to get me to return. He is very different than most of them so he has never harrassed me or questioned my salvation.
     
  17. Abiyah

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    Rhema --

    I have not yet figured it out--if we make them
    uncomfortable because they think we have
    made a bad decision, if they are concerned for
    our souls, or if they are simply cutting us off.
    I do believe that religious people in general
    need to get a grip on their emotional side with
    regard to those who leave.
     
  18. latterrain77

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    Any Pastor who clearly understands the principle of personal accountability to God will preach and teach that God wants complete control of your life, what you wear at home, what to watch on TV etc...

    When I preach the Word of God to my people, the responsibility is then in their hands to respond to the truths that God has revealed to them. I am not a standards police.
    </font>[/QUOTE]Hi Bob. In your post you said, "MY PEOPLE." I'm sure you meant - GOD's PEOPLE! [​IMG]

    latterrain77

    [ September 06, 2002, 09:01 PM: Message edited by: latterrain77 ]
     
  19. Doc Yankum

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    latterrain, not trying to put words in Pastor Bob's mouth, but when I read his post my thought was that he was referring to his congregation. I have heard other pastors speak of their congregations in this manner.
     
  20. Abiyah

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    Usually, it is a loving term. Wwith the little I know
    of Bob, I suspect it was.
     

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