How to communicate effectivly with ones spouse.

Discussion in 'All Other Discussions' started by puros_bran, Nov 28, 2008.

  1. puros_bran

    puros_bran
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    I've hinted and hinted and hinted and begged and pleaded and logically argued and hinted some more and left web pages of reviews open and left them in a etailers shopping cart (left on screen) and showed 'em to her trying to get it through the Mrs head that if she breaks our 'No Christmas presents between us' deal this year that I want either an RL Allan ESV Bible in British tan.. a Reformation Study Bible... or a ESV Study Bible.. in that order... So what did she buy for me tonight? A Garmin Nuvi GPS system..... Awesome, Thanks Dear..
    (shhh don't none of you bozo's tell her I have no need or desire for one..)


    Communication sometimes fails regardless of how you do it.
     
  2. mcdirector

    mcdirector
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    poor guy . . .

    Some people are oblivious to hints and obviously your Mrs. is one of them (or regardless of how good you think your hints are, they aren't ;) )

    Have her a sit-down and tell her that while you appreciate the GPS, you'd rather have the Bible instead. Then y'all go shopping. :thumbs:
     
  3. padredurand

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    madre has a degree in English. Mine is in communications. You would think we would be well equipped to c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e; however.... :tonofbricks:

    Hints do not work. As a professional communicator and the husband of someone who has mastered the language... If the question is vague and ambiguous so will be the answer. Case in point.....

    I have convinced myself that there is a motorcycle in my future. I could just go down to the local bike shop and buy one. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission - the saying goes. We've been married for nearly 30 years. You don't make it 30 years by using the she'll forgive me method. I am, after all, a professional communicator and madre is, after all, a master of the English language; we will talk. I established my thesis with a strong opening statement, "I have decided to buy a motorcycle!"

    I learned that not all modes of communication are audible. Women - even one's who have mastered the English language - can communicate by looking through their eyebrows. The long and short of it is that even after laying out my brilliant plan for motorcycle ownership madre was unconvinced. In the parlance of our household: if madre isn't buying it neither am I. I think I lost her when I was describing the t-shirt I wanted to wear while riding....

    If you can read this
    my wife fell off!

    So, puros_bran, enough about me.... Back to this missed hinting business. First of all, how do you know she bought you a Nuvi? Did you peek? It ain't even December, man! If you don't want the GPS send it to me. I can use it on my motorcycle someday.

    Then sit the lovely Mrs down at the kitchen table and do what Bitsy suggested. BTW, Bitsy, nice picture. Are you getting younger? ;) padre whispers to Bitsy: (when you're you're done gushing I need you to talk to madre about something.) :thumbsup:

    Look her in the eye and say, "Baby, (or any other term of affection you may use) I was snooping around like a seven year old and found the Garmin Nuvi you bought me....." It is important to pause at this moment. Trust me. I am a professional communicator. You have to read her face like the Sunday comics. The rest of the sentence is dependent on her initial response:

    If she dips her head and starts to glare through her eyebrows you continue with, "... I am unworthy of such generosity. I deserve coal. After marrying you everything else pales in comparison. I will gladly accept your gift."

    If she responds like wind just whistled through her head at 90 mph and she did not notice, "Baby, (or any other term of affection) I appreciate the Garmin but I really want a RL Allan ESV Bible in British tan.. a Reformation Study Bible... or a ESV Study Bible.. in that order... I'm sending the Nuvi to padre and I think you need to speak with madre."​
     
  4. Jim1999

    Jim1999
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    Pray tell, please, what is a garmin nuvi?

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  5. SaggyWoman

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    Some of us are 'DUH', and one has to be perfectly clear many times for us to get it. Hints are not clear enough. Sometimes you have to look us in the face so we can read your lips. Then, write me a note.
     
  6. puros_bran

    puros_bran
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    Jim a 'Garmin Nuvi' is a GPS navigation system.

    As for the set her down and talk... Nope.
    She was so excited about getting me that for Christmas she gave it to me early last night.. I'm not intentionally crushing that excitement for anything..

    I wasn't complaining about the Gift.. Just think its funny how effectively we assume we are communicating and yet the person that knows us best has no clue what we are saying sometimes.. I think it says way more about my communicating skills than it does her listening skills.
     
  7. mcdirector

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    We did pick up on that ;)

    Enjoy it and save those pennies for the Bible.

    I got this Reformation Study Bible for me from Christian Books .com ages ago - it's a hardback, but at 27.99 it was a good buy. They have a leather bound version for $50 I think. Sproul was the general editor. I've enjoyed it.
     
  8. Jim1999

    Jim1999
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    "Yes, dear." has gotten me through more 50 years of marriage.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  9. mcdirector

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    That works going in the other direction too ;)
     
  10. blackbird

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    My wife got on to me once----------said I didn't listen to her enough-----but I didn't hear a word she said----cause I wasn't payin' her any attention!!!

    :laugh: :laugh:

    But if SHE finds out it'll be

    :tonofbricks: :tonofbricks:
     
  11. annsni

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    A sign in our kitchen:

    "My wife says I never listen to her. Atleast that's what I think she said."

    LOL

    An Allen Bible?? Those things are WONDERFUL!! DH got one for his ordination and I love just smelling that thing! ;)

    Too bad you didn't catch my post a few weeks ago when Ligionier Ministries was giving away a Reformation Study Bible to anyone who made a donation. I got one with a $25 donation.


    As for the Nuvi...you're a man. We all know that men won't ask for directions - so your wife was just subtly communicating something to you and you didn't catch it. ROTFL!!


    Sorry you didn't get what you wanted.
     
  12. padredurand

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    Annsni, Annsni, Annsni, nobody needs directions on Lawwwwng Oye-Land... :tongue3:

    If you go east you will get wet. If you go north you will get wet. If you go south you will get wet. If you want to stay dry go west. You don't need a map nor a Nuvi for that. :wavey:
     
  13. LeBuick

    LeBuick
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    It took me a few years to memorize my lines but I think I got it down now... :thumbs:
     
  14. puros_bran

    puros_bran
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    Annsi... I noticed it. Even thought about pulling the trigger until I saw 'While supplies last'.. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying because I am far from well off, but I figured there must be thousands and thousands on Pastors wages that may not be able to acquire one at retail price.

    As for needing the GPS. I am a Truckdriver, After 15 years I have all the 'big roads' and a majority of the 'little roads' stuck in my head... when my memory fails me a 5 buck Rand McNally is all I really need. :) On the bright side the Garmin will be a tax write off..

    Hey, Can Pastors write off Bible purchases? It is a 'tool' for their occupation.
     
  15. abcgrad94

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    Sometimes people buy for others what they really want for themselves. If I bought my dh a GPS unit, it would be so I could borrow it as I have a horrible sense of direction.

    I wouldn't get too worried. Christmas is still several weeks away and maybe she knows that someone else is going to get you a Bible.

    By the way, when my dh leaves those papers lying around I don't take it as a "hint." I take it as having more clutter to clean up because he's untidy!
     

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