Is the Church Soft on Living Together?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by righteousdude2, Jan 1, 2008.

  1. righteousdude2

    righteousdude2
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    :wavey: Happy New Year to all of my brothers and sisters in Christian cyber-land.

    I appreciated the tremendous response I received from the post on drinking and smoking, so, I thought I'd try another question that will also be addressed in my new book.

    Living Together....is it still a sin?

    I pose this question because I was amazed that Parade Magazine ran a celebrity spotlight on Poppy Montgomery, star of television's "Without a Trace." She is due to deliver a child, and cheerfully acknowledges to the reporter, James Brady, that, "I'm living in sin with my boyfriend."

    I have no problem with the newspaper magazine covering whomever they desire, but, because this is a family magazine, I question their reason for making her out-of-marriage pregnancy to her live-in boyfriend a part of the information discussed in the article. "Cheerfully candid" or not, Ms. Montgomery showed no remorse, guilt, or shame for her decision to get pregnant outside of marriage.

    It seems that our society has no shame as to "living together" or out-of-marriage pregnancy.

    One of my chapters is specifically addressing the morality issues in our society, and the church. I want to know where you folks see the voice of the church in regard to such issues as "living together" and unwed pregnancy [a really old time phrase]? Do you as a believer have trouble with this lack of morality, or should the church simply mind it's own business, and leave the world to do their business?

    As before, unless you want your comments and name used in my book, I will only be using the feedback I get from this post as an anonymous consensus. If you want your comments and name used in the book, please give permission along with your comment. I can not guarantee I'll use it, but, if I can work it in, I will use it.

    Thanks for your feedback, responses, ideas, and thoughts. Again, I am not looking for heated debate(s), just your personal observation of where our society and the moral standard of today's church :sleeping_2: and its voice of conviction have gone to.

    Shalom,

    Pastor Paul
     
  2. blackbird

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    To answer your question-----is the church "soft"

    Absolutely!!!! Getting softer and softer all the time!!!

    Too many of us are afraid we're gonna loose the #'s!!!

    We reason

    "Well!!! If we tell Tom and Charolotte that living together is a sin and that we ask they confess that sin and repent and be reconciled back to the church----sure as we're standing here---Tom and Charolotte will be offended--and sure as they're offended---their parents will be offended--their brothers and sisters and whole family will be offended---and they've been members here at church all their lives and they've given so much to our building fund and if they quit tithing---we'll loose those funds---and then their friends will be as offended as they are----and we just can't afford to rock their boat!!!! It'll make our attendance records look bad if we loose too many folks!!!!"

    So we play the world's little #'s game!!!!
     
  3. standingfirminChrist

    standingfirminChrist
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    For a couple to live together that are unmarried, living as if married... it is sin according to the Word God. It is called adultery no matter how much they try to candy-coat it and call it by other names.

    Brother Paul, any of my quotes from this thread, or any other thread I have participated in, you may freely use. We, as Christians are to preach the Word boldly; in season, out of season. If it includes rebuke and reproof, as it should, we should not be hesitant in proclaiming the truth as it is written in God's Holy Word.
     
  4. standingfirminChrist

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    Amen, Brother David. Preach it!
     
  5. Chad_71

    Chad_71
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    I am in agreement. It seems to be all about the numbers. As a result there is no accountability.
     
  6. reformedbeliever

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    My wife and I have been living together for over 21 years. Our church is not soft on that. I hope to live together with her for many more years. :thumbs:
     
  7. Brother Bob

    Brother Bob
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    I am ashamed that this is even a question among Christians.

    BBob,
     
  8. mcdirector

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    It is shameful, isn't it? But what has been said does seem to hold true in many sectors.
     
    #8 mcdirector, Jan 1, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2008
  9. KJVkid

    KJVkid
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    You have to ask if the church is SOFT? Don't you read anything on this board?
     
  10. Armchair Scholar

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    Yes, living together without the confines of marriage, is sin. And, yes, a large portion of the American church has become very soft on all kinds of sin.

    Living together without marriage is a convenience to many, and most of them are probably not born-again. People that I have worked with who live this way, do it because it is convenient for them for different reasons.

    The reason living together without marriage is a problem is because, first of all, God said not to do it. Next, "shacking up" does not require the lifelong commitment that marriage does. It's easier to live with a person that you don't have to pledge your life and commitment to, because when you decide you don't like them any more you can just move out and find someone else. No vows and no long-term responsibility are required. It's a disposable relationship, one that comes with a parachute if it becomes necessary to jump out.

    Now, of course, we know that some people who are married also believe they can just leave when they decide they want out. It's just that it's easier for people to live together without investing time and commitment in marriage. I believe that this also shows that fewer people in our society actually love each other or know what love really is. It's tied to the increasing love of self plaguing America.

    I used to attend a megachurch where the pastor stopped talking about sexual immorality, especially about people living together without being married. This coincided with an increase of unmarried couples attending who lived together and did not try to hide it. The church had a $Million building fund to collect in a four-month period and all kinds of scriptural doctrine was softened to the point that it was no longer scriptural. This country is entering a spiritual crisis and this softening of the church is one of the major symptoms.
     
  11. EdSutton

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    Happy New Year to you as well.

    I am not posting in this thread, at the present time, but will say that you have my express permission to quote anything I've posted on the Baptist Board on any subject. It is a public forum, and is "out there" in public, already. I would ask only that if you do quote something I've written, please spell the name correctly. :thumbs:

    "anonymous" does not happen to be a name I use, FTR.

    Ed
     
  12. standingfirminChrist

    standingfirminChrist
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    I must be getting psychic. EdSutton did not post in this thread, yet I know what he said.

    Area 51?
     
  13. mcdirector

    mcdirector
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    Ha -- Fodder for a new thread or movie or something

    or have we done that already?
     
  14. Dale-c

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    I am totally opposed to living with each other before marriage or with someone else after marriage.
    Are we talking about both here?

    It is my understanding though that Adultery is only something that involves a married person.
    Therefore the sin of "shacking up" is not always adultery if neither party is married but it is still fornication and thus sin.

    But Biblically the solution for "shacking up" is for the couple to get married.
    That is different than adultery.

    BUt they are both very serious and should not be taken lightly by the church.
     
  15. Emily25069

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    Its definately soft

    My husbands sister just moved in with her boyfriend this holiday season, and her and her boyfriend both attend church together, though he does not claim salvation, but she does.

    This makes both my husband and I tremendously sad.

    A few days before the big move out, I was at my in-laws house and she was so excited getting ready for the big move and was talking about it every chance she got. I have no problems with telling her like it is, but I didnt want to do it in front of my mil and fil, so I stayed very silent the whole day. She took this as me being judgemental. My husband took her out for coffee a few days later to let her know his concern but it just went over her head. She's a big girl and its her life after all.

    But what amazes me is that her and her boyfriend go to church week after week after week and this topic is not mentioned at all. It really does amaze me.

    Also, another one of my girlfriends went to a premarital class at a megachurch around here and on the first night of class the instructor said as part of his introduction "I know that most of you are probably living together. We know that that is how it is nowadays".. etc

    I lived with my husband before we were married, and I so deeply regret it. I tried telling sil that she will certainly regret it, but I think my past sin kept her from seeing that. It actually was preached from the pulpit we were married at, but we wanted our own selfish lust more than we wanted to be pleasing to God, so we lied about it. Come to think of it, I suspect that a few folks knew, but didnt want to say anything because they werent sure and didnt want us to get offended.

    But come to think of it, Im not sure why either one of us attended church since we certainly didnt live like believers.
     
  16. righteousdude2

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    Thank You

    I will definitely consider using your quotes brother. and I thank you for your input, as it addresses the issue just like Blackbird did in the post prior to yours.
     
  17. PK

    PK
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    Our church put "Thou shalt not commit adultery" on our sign when we were going through the 10 commandments on Wednesday night and we received about 20 nasty messages on our answering machine. The town where my church is has a population of about 200 people.
     
  18. Magnetic Poles

    Magnetic Poles
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    Interesting, but the topic here isn't adultery, but premarital cohabitation.
     
  19. righteousdude2

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    What a Shame

    Sorry to hear of this....it is a sign of the times when people become enraged because the church preaches the word without compromising its message.

    Pastor Paul :type:
     
  20. standingfirminChrist

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    Smith's Bible Dictionary
    The parties to this crime, according to Jewish law, were a married woman and a man who was not her husband. The Mosaic penalty was that both the guilty parties should be stoned, and it applied as well to the betrothed as to the married woman, provided she were free.

    If I am reading this correctly, adultery is not just by one who is married, but also one who has not entered into marriage yet but is engaged to marry.

    A woman who promises herself to one man and then has an affair with another man before her marriage has committed adultery.
     

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