Let's commiserate...

Discussion in 'All Other Discussions' started by menageriekeeper, Mar 17, 2010.

  1. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2004
    Messages:
    7,152
    Likes Received:
    0
    How many of us have children going off to college this coming fall and how will we EVER survive it?

    My eldest is moving on. She'll be in the Honor's Program of her chosen university (one of only 50 chosen out of 350!). Thankfully, a scholarship and an employee discount have most of the financials taken care of, but I have yet to see the sense in making incoming freshmen spend their first year on campus! We only live 45 minutes away! (and my dh drives in every single day!)

    Then, the next two in line will be turning 16 and getting driver's lisences. :eek: One in September and the other the 1st of January.

    Yep, I have a year of changes coming up! At least my baby is only 12.
     
  2. annsni

    annsni
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    20,166
    Likes Received:
    368
    Well, my oldest is in her sophomore in college and also goes to the college 45 minutes away but she commutes. There's no way we could afford to have her stay there. My next one will be starting college in the fall and she will be commuting too. Her commute will be around 50 minutes and her college doesn't even have dorms on campus. So my chickies will still be in the nest. :)
     
  3. FriendofSpurgeon

    FriendofSpurgeon
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2003
    Messages:
    3,053
    Likes Received:
    36
    Welcome to our world.

    Our daughter is at college 2+ hours away. It was an adjustment for all of us. She definitely appreciates coming home -- sleeping in her bed, eating mom's cooking, and so forth. But it's been a good experience for her -- being away from home, going grocery shopping, getting a part time job, living in a dorm, finding a new church home, etc. -- in short, growing up.

    Our son is a high school junior but is looking at universities much further away. So phase 2 is coming soon.
     
  4. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2004
    Messages:
    7,152
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah, the staying there part will be a pain in our necks as well. She only has to stay for just this one year though. And Daddy will be just blocks from her dorm every day if she needs something.

    Sleeping in her own bed. LOL, my younger children are busy planning how to redivide the bedrooms when she is gone! No telling where her bed will end up! :laugh:
     
  5. FriendofSpurgeon

    FriendofSpurgeon
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2003
    Messages:
    3,053
    Likes Received:
    36
    It's been a good experience for us too -- getting used to our "little girl" no longer being at home. Personally, I think it's good when the college kids go off to college rather than living at home. They have to be mature enough (emotionally, spiritually, etc.) to handle it, but then they begin to mature even more so.

    Congratulations to your daughter in being accepted into such a program. Godspeed to your her in her new adventure,

    Nate
     
  6. Trotter

    Trotter
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/6412.jpg>

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    4,815
    Likes Received:
    0
    Our daughter isn't off at college, but she is out on her own and living about 40 minutes away. When she first moved out it about killed my wife. And now that our daughter will be making us grandparents come October that 40 minutes is going to seem like 40 hours. At least she is coming up every Friday night for supper and some family time.
     
  7. Benjamin

    Benjamin
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2004
    Messages:
    4,878
    Likes Received:
    109
    My baby girl will be heading off this fall. She has been in gifted programs since 5th grade and been in an "IB" program all through high school (about 25 students out of each grade have these special small classes out of the 2,500) which excels their academics way beyond regular high school cirriculum. Most of these kids get offers of full rides, or close to it, often including the Ivy League colleges.

    She has been an straight A student throughout and college will be a breeze for her. She is envolved in all sorts of extra curricular activities (choir, sports, body building, volunteer work, school activities, voice training, various competitions, and has a job) and is one of the busiest people I have ever seen, and she loves this incredible pace. Her desire is to be singer but she realizes that majoring in music alone will not be challenging enough for her and so will be double/tripple majoring, possibly in philosophy (as per Dad's suggestion and hopes she will persue law) and business.

    I almost find it odd how determined she is to be a singer considering all her other qualities, although she comes in the door singing, walks around the house singing, leaves the house singing, sings at special city events, has lead the praise team at church for two years, is president of the school choir, performs or competes in vocal stuff constantly and is the lead singer for a group of three brothers who are very talented musicians and together they have formed a band. So I just tell her if that's what she wants that she is capable to achieve it, so go for it. She has a guy in CA who wants to be her agent and I think that's why she wants to go to college in CA, but I talked to him and made it clear that college comes first.

    I still consider her my baby girl and she understands this mindset is not liable to change anytime soon. Our home will be so quite when she is gone.
     
  8. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,439
    Likes Received:
    0
    Both of our girls are gone... If you think watching them leave for school is bad, wait until you walk them down the aisle and then they get in that car with a guy who is no where even close to being good enough for her! :laugh:

    That's when you break down. :tear:
     
  9. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2004
    Messages:
    7,152
    Likes Received:
    0
    I wish I had a thimble full of my kids energy!

    So how far is CA from you? (I'm thinkin' NO WAY!) You are a brave man!

    She already has that guy picked out, I have him scared of me (as are most of her friends. :D ) and we are well on the way to getting him trained up right. I figure 4 years from now he should be pretty much the way we want him. (college degrees first. Wedding second!) :laugh:
     
  10. padredurand

    padredurand
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2004
    Messages:
    4,384
    Likes Received:
    20
    Gone! Gone! They are all out of the house! Regret the empty nest? Let me get back to you on that......

    My youngest is the apple of my eye. Had I been born a girl I'd be her. I called her Bubba until she was 14. Some idiot told her that 14 year old girls don't let their Daddy call them Bubba so she asked me to stop: in public. My little Bubba is a brainiac. It is also the only evidence that my wife had anything to do with her early development. She started college 4 days before her 16th birthday. By the time she was nearly 18, I was dropping her off at "big girl college" 4 hours away. Madre said I cried. I think it was leaf mold allergies. Bubba had them, too.

    Bubba gets an education, comes home, gets a job and meets this smelly boy that is way out of her league (and I don't mean they bowl at different alleys). What's he do? He makes an appointment with me to ask for her hand in marriage. I know the word NO in 7 different languages and couldn't think of a single one of them. Bubba says she wants her very favorite uncle to fly in from Texas and give her away while I read the I do part. By now I've learned how to say NO in three more languages. I draw a blank.

    Come wedding day and I'm standing next to her husband to be. I whisper in his ear, "You break her heart and your only option is to flee." Then the music starts and in comes my little Bubba escorted by her very favorite uncle Doug. Funny. I never knew Doug had leaf mold allergies
     
  11. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,439
    Likes Received:
    0
    I did part of the service for my daughters. I was so glad they scheduled music... they knew I would cry and would need some time to collect myself.

    A pastor friend did his daughters wedding and when it came time to say "You may now kiss the bride." instead said, "You may now give the bride a hearty handshake!" I understood exactly how he felt.
     
  12. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2004
    Messages:
    7,152
    Likes Received:
    0
    So what ya'll menfolk are telling me is that I need worry more about how my husband is going to react at her "going off" than I do about myself?

    You might have something there!!!

    :laugh:
     
  13. padredurand

    padredurand
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2004
    Messages:
    4,384
    Likes Received:
    20
    The operative word there is her. There is just something about Daddy's little girl going off into the world. Don't you know the world is full of scummy, low-life boys vying for the attentions of dear daughter? That causes a ton of problems. I want them both close - like in the house close.


    • First of all any distance greater than 200 yards is, for practical purposes, out of range. I can still startle the varmint at 300 yards but it makes it hard to get in a follow up shot with the rifle (raffle for y'all south of the M-D).
    • Secondly, I'm much more intimidating up close than I am over the phone. When I ask him his intentions I want to be close enough to watch him break out into a cold sweat.
    • Thirdly, I have a job and responsibilities here. I cannot sit outside her dorm room telling the previously mentioned smelly boys, "Move along. There's nothing here for you." I can do that from my front porch.
    • Fourth -- well I've got a million reasons why daughters shouldn't leave home until three years after I'm dead and only one to let her go....
    Bubba's mama and I trained her up in the way she should go. She demonstrated she would not depart from her faith when she was young when dealing with that over-achieving son-in-law. I do remind him on a regular basis that he married up. We have an understanding.

    Behold, children are a gift of the LORD; The fruit of the womb is a reward.
    Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth.
    How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them...

    Psalms 127:3-5 NAS77

    An arrow does the warrior no good staying in the quiver. Arrows are most effective when notched to the bowstring and sent. The twanging of the bow in my experience was loudest the day we left her at college and heard again with wedding bells.

    The boys on the other hand.... We gave them change of address cards from the post office for their 18th birthdays. :laugh:
     
  14. Deacon

    Deacon
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member
    Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2002
    Messages:
    6,970
    Likes Received:
    128
    One daughter was married off last year, another will be married in the fall,

    My youngest will be attending Liberty in August,

    Between loans, savings and scholarships we'll get through.

    Personally I'm looking forward to a quiet house and more ministry opportunities.

    Woo Hoo, we're almost free. :tongue3:

    Rob
     
  15. FriendofSpurgeon

    FriendofSpurgeon
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2003
    Messages:
    3,053
    Likes Received:
    36

    NOT funny pastor Tom!! It's hard enough to think about these college days, much less those days to come.
     
  16. Benjamin

    Benjamin
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2004
    Messages:
    4,878
    Likes Received:
    109
    Standford and Pepperdine are around 6-8 hrs away.

    I said that about Harvard.

    I know she is tough and sticks to her values, so have a lot of confidence in her, but I still see this this as my baby girl going out into the big world without my constant watchful eye, no way to provide close protection, advice and counseling, and not feeling too brave about letting her go. Thing is, she says something like, "You wouldn't want to limit my future opportunities, would you?"
     
  17. FriendofSpurgeon

    FriendofSpurgeon
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2003
    Messages:
    3,053
    Likes Received:
    36
    Just flew from SFO to PHX and it's only 2 hours by air, so at least that's not too bad from Stanford. Pepperdine should be even better. Both are great schools. Is she leaning toward one or the other?
     
  18. just-want-peace

    just-want-peace
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2002
    Messages:
    5,503
    Likes Received:
    40
    When my oldest (now 42) went away to college, she had too much "social life" in her to suit me (I'm basically an introvert), but I wrote her a letter of some 4 handwritten pages and just basically told her that I loved her, but that God loved her even more, and to always keep in mind that someday she would meet Mr Right and to consider how she would want to present herself to him as a Christian.

    I also told her that I was not going to keep fretting over her as I had virtually no control since she was a "fur piece" from family, so I was, as her father, giving her over to God to oversee and guide; and if she messed up He was the one she had to answer to, so think long and hard before doing anything questionable.

    Well, He kept her straight, and now I envy her closeness to God.

    Did basically the same for my son (40), but he was a totally different temperament than her, and he has always been more "civilized"!

    Empty nest????

    Missed 'em, and still do; but wouldn't want to either have 'em back OR live with either. If only they were close enough to visit w/o an over-night needed!
     
  19. Benjamin

    Benjamin
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2004
    Messages:
    4,878
    Likes Received:
    109
    #19 Benjamin, Mar 20, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 20, 2010
  20. Benjamin

    Benjamin
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2004
    Messages:
    4,878
    Likes Received:
    109
    Yes, she's hoping for one or the other, USC as a third choice. We may not send her car with her for the first year so she probably will be flying. At Stanford what she wil need is a bike, that school is HUGE, second biggest in the world, 80,000 acres I think they said. Pepperdine is beautiful up on a hill and overlooking the ocean, both have a lot to offer. We will know in a couple weeks.
     

Share This Page

Loading...