Featured Made an attempt to reconcile

There are a 172 hours in a week. If you work 70 that leaves 102 hours. With 8 hours of sleep a night that leaves you with 46 hours. Even if you take 20 hours for other things, that would still leave you 26 hours a week to focus on your wife.
I've always believed people can find the time for what is important to them. When my husband and I were dating he was working 60 hours a week as a first year teacher and I also had a full time job but we still found the time to talk on the phone for 3 hour every night because it was important to us.
Given the things you have said about your wife here I can only imagine what she was feeling for you. Women pick up on the feelings of their husbands especially if they are negative.
You as the husband are called to love her like Christ loves the church, meaning that you are willing to die for her. Since you divorced her it's going to take a lot of work on your part to reconcile. Remember Fireproof? Doing the dishes and buying wilted flowers doesn't cut it, it took total sacrifice on the part of the husband to reconcile with his wife.

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Pray that God will make a way.

 

And if she rebuffs your attempt, you try again and again and again. Reconciliation isn't a "one attempt" thing.

My wife and I were separated for 21 months after I walked out on her. Through my actions and my words, I had hurt her deeply, but yet in my mind, I was the victim. I was the one who had been wronged. When God finally got thru my stubbornness and cold hard heart, the first time I reached out to her, she wanted nothing to do with me. Was I disappointed? Sure, but a godly person helped me see that trust couldn't be rebuilt overnight. It took much prayer before she finally agreed to meet with me for a lunch date and then many more months of proving to her that God was truly moving in my heart before she would even entertain the thought of us getting back together. Thankfully, God moved in both of our lives and brought us back together, stronger than before but only because we had made Him the center of our marriage, instead of our wants and desires.

If you truly love your wife and want what God desires your marriage to be, don't stop at one attempt at reconciliation. It must be a continuing process.

 

Yes, you can, and it's great that you are willing to try. No one can guarantee an outcome, but if you try and fail, you can at least tell yourself something that I heard somewhere--- that you failed at doing the right thing instead of succeeding in doing the wrong.

 

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

I'm learning this lesson myself--being a fruitful Christian isn't simply about "Fulfilling a calling" or "Standing on the Corner Street Preaching" or "Doing some big thing for God." It's being faithful to God's Word in all facets of your Life, John. Your marriage IS THE MINISTRY. Loving God, Loving Others...in menial tasks and in great endeavors. All of your efforts should be directed toward being Pleasing to God and living the life the bible spells out for us to live. Reconciliation isn't some suggestion if you have time, IT IS THE CHRISTIAN LIFE!

 

Except, in this case, you need to define "failure." Is that one attempt? Trying to call, but she never answers? Asking her out to dinner, but she says no? Sending an email that she never responds to? Define "success," as well as "failure."

For me, success would be praying every day about it; doing things to let her know I love her; and in a few days, or a few years, or a few decades, God softens her heart, she forgives me, and we live out the rest of our lives together. "Failure" would be praying every day; doing things to let her know I love her; but one or the other of us dies without having actually been reconciled.

So how do you define these two outcomes?

 

Success: Reconciliation
Failure: Not reconciliation

You can define these however you like. I'm just thinking about the ultimate goal.