Marriage: Should a married man speak with another woman?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by evangelist6589, Jan 7, 2014.

  1. evangelist6589

    evangelist6589
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2010
    Messages:
    8,367
    Likes Received:
    105
    When I was at BJU it was a common practice and frowned upon for a married man to speak with a single/married woman. I mean calling/emailing/ etc.. The Bible is quote clear on sexual immorality and this thread is not about that, but what if the married man wishes to evangelize the other woman, or what if he wishes to connect with her and get to know her so he can network better and get a job reference and or a job? Is this unbiblical? Loading people down with too many rules will not take the place of the Holy Spirit. But the reality is that an evangelist will seek to win any sex over to the Lord, and a unemployed person will network all he can to land a good job. What do you say?
     
  2. annsni

    annsni
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    20,191
    Likes Received:
    374
    I guess that means a pastor can't speak to more than half his congregation.
     
  3. Gina B

    Gina B
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2000
    Messages:
    16,944
    Likes Received:
    1
    Against scripture vs hope you bought a sleeper sofa.

    Good question. LOL

    I'm going with the second option.

    It's perfectly normal to talk to another human, so long as you take into account the normal stuff surrounding the situation. IE don't be alone, don't let yourself be tempted, consider what might bother your spouse even it seems irrational to you, don't people occasion to gossip if you can help it, etc..
     
  4. padredurand

    padredurand
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2004
    Messages:
    4,384
    Likes Received:
    20
    What she said. :thumbs:
     
  5. blackbird

    blackbird
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2002
    Messages:
    11,898
    Likes Received:
    2

    What they all said!!!!:wavey::wavey:

    If men were not allowed to speak to women----that little Samaritan woman would have probably stayed lost in her sins!! See John Chapter Four!!!:jesus:
     
  6. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2002
    Messages:
    9,835
    Likes Received:
    115
    I am a single woman. The overwhelming majority of married men at my church not only speak to me, but treat me as with great respect and appreciate me as a Christian in service with them to the the Lord. We are co-workers for Christ. The speak to me alone and a couple by email/mail/phone.

    Over the years, I've seen a very small handful of married men (5 or less) who were skiddish around women who weren't their wives.

    I never really understood if it was something they were taught by a previous church, forced upon by their wives, or their own belief.

    I'm stealing this quote of yours for future use. :flower:
     
  7. padredurand

    padredurand
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2004
    Messages:
    4,384
    Likes Received:
    20
    I'd be skittish around you. You're one of them O-PIN-E-O-NATED women folk. :tongue3:
     
  8. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2002
    Messages:
    9,835
    Likes Received:
    115
    LOL!! :laugh: :laugh:

    [​IMG]
     
    #8 Scarlett O., Jan 7, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2014
  9. saturneptune

    saturneptune
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    13,977
    Likes Received:
    0
    Good thread. One thing I wonder is why does every interaction we have with another human being, especially that of the opposite sex, seem to create a picture in the back of the observers mind, have a final goal of taking that person to bed?

    That train of thought is for one person and one person only in my case, and that person would be my wife. Why do we have to be skittish about the appearance. To me, it says more about the observer than the talker. The observer's mind is in the gutter, and the person who enjoys this kind of stuff is probably the local church gossip.

    I am on a staff of seven in an adult day care. All are female except me. I interact with all of them daily. Thoughts like that never cross my mind. If a person observing in the distance concludes something is going on because I talk to person A more than person B, then that is their problem.

    Except for the aspect of being a witness and causing a fellow Christian to stumble, I do not care what anyone thinks, because they don't. I am there to do a job, not go through a maze of interactions that end up in the bedroom.

    If one's ability to resist temptation is so weak that every object they pass is a potential sex object, then they need to double check on their relationship with the Lord'
     
  10. canadyjd

    canadyjd
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2005
    Messages:
    3,896
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think the op specified "calling, emailing...etc.", not just routine communication in church or social functions.

    I wouldn't be uncomfortable with another man "calling" or "emailing" my wife, not because I wouldn't trust her, but because I know this one, undeniable reality....

    Men are pigs:smilewinkgrin:
     
  11. evangelist6589

    evangelist6589
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2010
    Messages:
    8,367
    Likes Received:
    105
    Don't ask me to explain how the Fundamentalist thinks a I can't explain it. But all I know is that at BJU calling/emailing someone of the opposite sex if one was married was heavily frowned upon and they always had the assumption of the negative.
     
  12. Judith

    Judith
    Expand Collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2012
    Messages:
    982
    Likes Received:
    10
    Whether it is a married man with other women or a married woman it should be no different. I would say it is very unwise to be carrying on one on one relationships with the opposite sex if you are married.
     
  13. evangelist6589

    evangelist6589
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2010
    Messages:
    8,367
    Likes Received:
    105
    I agree. However no problem with a occasional contact, especially if one wants to network, and very necessary in todays economy.
     
  14. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2010
    Messages:
    18,927
    Likes Received:
    96
    Nice....:laugh:
     
  15. righteousdude2

    righteousdude2
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2007
    Messages:
    10,466
    Likes Received:
    138
    I think....

    ....that talking to a member of your gender or the other gender is not a problem so long as your mind and spirit are right with God.

    Maybe I am missing something in the gist of this OP, but, talking to people, regardless f their gender, is something we all must do. I mean to say, if you preach, do you not speak to the women as well as the men? If you are working with a group of volunteers, and there are women present in the group, is it not your responsiblity to talk with them in order to accomplish your mission?

    I guess I'm coming from my career side of life, as I always worked in an industry that was female dominated, and I never felt it was wrong to have social discourse in order to do the job!


    That is my two penny's worth!:wavey:
     
  16. righteousdude2

    righteousdude2
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2007
    Messages:
    10,466
    Likes Received:
    138
    This is what I meant.....

    One must know the motives of their heart and soul are clear! My wife trusts me, mainly because she has watched me work with and talk with women all our marriage. And this goes for telephone and email contact.

    My heart is free and clear of any guilt.:thumbs:
     
  17. Gina B

    Gina B
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2000
    Messages:
    16,944
    Likes Received:
    1
    Because we are human. Eventually, male or female, if we talk to another person long enough that is attractive to us physically or emotionally, that thought is likely to cross our mind.

    No matter how strong someone thinks he/she is, there's no point in increasing your own vulnerability if there are better options. You also never know the weakness of the other person and what is going on in their mind. It's not just about you and keeping yourself safe - be thoughtful enough to consider the other person, even if you think you're an ugly sack of dirt. Everyone has their moments. :laugh:
     
  18. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2012
    Messages:
    17,080
    Likes Received:
    49
    Would say thar one casn interact and befriend another lady, but need to make sure that you mention your own wife and family upfront, a lot, and seek to have it so that you can move it to where perhaps you and your wife and her hus and her can meet and discuss things together like on a group date, to make sure all parties know of each other, and keep it focused on friendship and evangelising only!

    For i am sure many started out with proper intentions, but ended up gettong burnt by lust and too much intimate sharing!
     
  19. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    17,933
    Likes Received:
    8
    I would be very lonely if married men didn't speak to me. Most that I know are married.
     
  20. saturneptune

    saturneptune
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    13,977
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, I never was what you would call a woman magnet, really just an average, some would say ugly, guy. As I said, I work in an adult day care with a staff of seven women, some quite attractive. The fleeting thought will cross any man's mind that can half see. The Bible says in James resist the devil, and he will flee. It is like the old story of me driving a car, and I see a young female wearing short shorts walking down the sidewalk. I can either dismiss the glance and go on, or, I can drive around the block. The second one is sin and leads to broken families and nothing but sorrow. With my job, I have to go in EVERYDAY and deal with the seven women on a professional, fast paced level, not to speak of my supervisor being a female. Not only do I not have the time or desire to pursue such an endeavor, the very appearance of it by one of the seven would get me fired, not to speak of what my wife would do when she found out. At my age, like it makes no difference anyhow.

    Your point is well taken however. You do not know what is going through the mind of the other party, or what their morals or desires are. It reminds me of Samson and Delilah. However, I can make a reasonable guess that a man 61 that was not attractive younger is not the object of seven women's fantasy that are in their 20s and 30s.
     

Share This Page

Loading...