Married to a catholic... Please Help!

You have no idea if she is saved or not, and such a statement is outrageous. There are Catholics saved despite their church. There are lots of Baptists who are just as lost.

Bruce,
The best advice on this thread is to pray, as God knows what he is doing. It seems that the best possible of all worlds would be that God touches her heart and you all end up at a Baptist church, and the kids grow up with both parents going to one church.

God bless you as He takes you through this.

 

I was raised with a Catholic father and a United Methodist mother and let me tell you it wasnt easy but it opened my eyes so much I love the bible verse that talks about training up a child in the ways of the Lord and he shall never depart from it, you dont have to teach your child with doctrine, you can teach your children by example. Love your wife, dont allow different religions to get in the way of that, teach your children God's love through you. Your children one day are going to make their own decision about God and which church they wish to attend. I was blessed to have parents to teach me both the Catholic ways and the Methodist ways and so I made my 1st Holy Communion in the Catholic Church and Confirmation and even attended a Catholic grade school but they also made sure I attended my mom's church as well and when I was 16 I made an informed decision that I wanted to remain in my moms church and they never judged me for that decision. Now when I come back home some sundays I will attend mass with my dad and then other sundays I will attend church at mom's church which I consider my hometown church but it has so made my relationship with the Lord that much stronger, so please pray for your children and teach them God's love shining through you.

 

This is an oldie, but I'll chime in.

My first question is, are you tender when you deal with your wife in this area? Or do you let your frustration get the best of you?

My reason for asking that is this. If you've been tender, compassionate, loving, patient, then it lays the proper ground work for the next thing to do. First, understand that as the head of the woman, and as the one charged with bringing up your children in the nuture and admonition of the Lord, your home is now a Baptist* home. It just is. Your duty is now to forbid your children to attend Catholic services with your wife.

But, if you've been childish and jerkish about your newfound faith, and let your frustration get the best of you in unmerciful attacks on her religion, a step like that would simply be seen as another attack.

If she is DEVOUT, as you say, at least you have some common ground, one of which is the Scriptures**. Have you started with family devotions? If not then do so, and don't start with things to attempt to prove her religion wrong. In fact, I would avoid them altogether, and only focus on those things which would edify her.

Anyway, that's my 2¢ in an old walnut.

*vs Catholic.

**Minus the Apocrypha, though there really is nothing I would call destructive in reading it.

 

I will pray for the both of you. I was a Catholic for the first 45 yrs of my life. I didn't understand until I me my present wife that I was living wrong. You have to show her in Black and White in your Bible what is says about being saved, praying to anybody but God the Father is wrong (Idolatry).
Yes, Mary is a very important HUMAN BEING, she was CHOSEN to be the Mother of our Savior Jesus Christ. Just show her those things and God will convict her of what she is doing is wrong. It may take more than a day or two.
Just instruct your children on what you know. I will pray that she comes around, I know it can be rough. Hang in there and keep praying.

God Bless!:jesus:

 

Hi

Hi Bruce, yes, as an exCatholic, I do have some suggestions. It is possible that your wife is much as I was. I was very heavily invested in Catholic Traditions. I was involved with the Legion of Mary, went to mass six days a week, lit candles, loved the Pope, etc. The same reason that I observed all these things turned out to be the same reason I LEFT the Catholic Church. I wanted to please God! I thought by keeping the Traditions I was pleasing Him....it was only after reading my Bible that I discovered that what I was doing wasn't pleasing Him.....and that and only that was the reason I left the Catholic Church.

I would suggest that you stop discussing the Catholic Church at the moment. She clearly knows where you stand. She isn't going to listen to YOU because she thinks what you are telling her is contrary to what HE wants for her. Instead, initiate a Bible study with her. Ask her to first read with you the Gospel of John. Take a chapter a night, just the two of you. After John, read Romans. Go very slowly, asking her what the Scriptures mean. Don't worry about the children at the moment, though certainly, you should read the Bible to them every day...if they are very small, a Bible story at night. I had the whole Catholic childhood and the Lord still saved me from it all!

She is clinging to the Traditions and the ceremonies because she believes it is through them that she is saved. She has got to come to a realization herself that faith alone in Jesus Christ is sufficient.

Be the BEST husband you can be....pray that the Lord make your love abound for her! Witness to her through your actions right now, not your words.

I will keep you in prayer, Bruce...be encouraged that wives are more likely to follow their husbands than the other way around....I heard that in a sermon by Vernon McGee.

Your sis in Christ,
Beth

 

Bruce

Hang in there---don't quit your marriage

My dad----when he met my mom and later got married---he was Baptist and married a Catholic

Everything was fine between them --- except he went to the Baptist church and she went to the Catholic church

Years later----his Baptist pastor befriended my mom and shared the gospel message of the Lord Jesus Christ with her---it was the first time anyone had explained her need to be born again

Anyway----she went "cold turkey" on the Catholic church---was baptised as a Baptist and began attending church with my dad

Thats when the trouble started----her family(my grandparents) began to harrass her and my dad constantly---without let up

It took years for things to get right with my mom and her family--but they did

I credit it to a husband who didn't give up on his wife(my momma)---who loved her beyond being catholic

Hang in there----love her like Jesus loves you---love her as if she were Jesus---love her because of Jesus

Your friend,
Bro David
aka blackbird

 

Bruce,

I am but a single baptist in a sea of Roman Catholics here are work and at my home town and in my family. However, you need to understand where Roman Catholics are coming from.

If you were to talk to a Roman Catholic, they would tell you that the Virgin Mary is the co-savior....and that means that she participated in salvation, but she does not save people.

Also, informed Roman Catholics will tell you that worshipping dead saints is sinful. They will tell you that they ask for the intercession of the dead saints the same way you have asked for us to pray for you.

Loving the Pope..... I see nothing wrong with that. I personally would not want to bow on one knee and kiss his ring. But I believe the Pope to be a Christian, and thus our brother. Do I think he's the leader of all "real" Christianity on Earth? NO!!!

Rosary beads.... I got nothing on that. Your wife and/or her priest will have to explain that one.

So we have to be very careful with how we characterize our Roman Catholic bretheren. They do worship dead saints, just ask them.

Bruce, this is the woman you chose to marry and you have three kids with her. And you mentioned that it is causing marital problems. Then pray about it. And you and your wife need to go seek marital counceling...and get a good one....and since you are on opposite sides of the Religious Divide, you should go find a regular counselor (not a preacher or Christian counsellor or else she'll be uncomfortable....just imagine how YOU would feel if she demanded the two of you go to her priest!)

In any case, I'm sure that all my comments above will make people angry and unhappy with me. Some will say that I have taken the side of the Mary Worshippers and that I'm not t3h real Baptist or whatever. And I could care less. I do not agree with Roman Catholicism, but by virtue of having been raised by one, living among them and working in an office filled with them, I will not stand still for people saying stuff like "they worship dead saints." Enough about me!

Bruce, you and your wife are ONE FLESH!!! You HAVE to work it out for your sakes and for the children.

I grew up in a broken home. I would rather DIE than put my children through that kind of life.

 

You are arguing with God

You said:

"In any case, I'm sure that all my comments above will make people angry and unhappy with me. Some will say that I have taken the side of the Mary Worshippers and that I'm not t3h real Baptist or whatever. And I could care less. I do not agree with Roman Catholicism, but by virtue of having been raised by one, living among them and working in an office filled with them, I will not stand still for people saying stuff like "they worship dead saints." Enough about me!"

Your argument is with God, not with us. If you believe that someone who teaches a different gospel is your "brother", then take it up with God. I believe that only He can help you understand the difference between salvation by faith alone and salvation by works.

-Beth

 

Bruce,
Overlook the arrogant, holier than thou posts totally devoid of Christ-like love and theological midgets who think they are giants. It turns my stomach some of the posts that have been made in relation to your situation by members of our faith that neither edify nor solve any problems.

Lots of Baptists, and no doubt other faiths, do not understand the difference between truth and their opinion of the Bible. They are not synomyms. Lots of posts have given you excellent advice, and no doubt you can tell the difference.

You stick to your beliefs, stick with your wife, and let God sort out the rest. I am sure He can do that without pointing an accusing finger. God can change hearts in His own time.

God bless you and your family in your journey through this.

 

Amen Brother SN!

 

Bruce:

I'm coming in rather late on this thread, but just wanted to offer some encouragement. Pray diligently, continue to live out your faith, and love your wife and be sensitive when talking to her about her faith.

I was a Catholic for the first 38 years of my life. My husband was raised in a Christian and Missionary Alliance Church. When we married back in 1982, he joined the Catholic Church. At that time, I could no more imagine changing my religion than changing the color of my skin; being Catholic is who I was, and I believed in my religion passionately. My husband and his entire family loved me unconditionally. As I observed his family over the years, it became increasingly clear that they had something I did not have. They had a deep personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and I realized that I had a faith in my religion....What a vast difference! When my father-in-law prayed before meals, he prayed in a personal way that I had never observed before.

I wanted what they had! At first I kept it to myself, but I developed a strong hunger for the word of God. I absolutely devoured it! In December of 1996, I accepted Christ. My husband, my son and I left the Catholic Church the following year. This was very difficult for my parents and they were very hurt at first; however, time has healed the hurt and over the years, we have had some wonderful discussions about God and faith. We find that we still have much in common, and our relationship is better than ever.

Bruce, I know that I have rambled on, but my point is this: Love your wife, continue to pray, and don't give up!

God Bless!

PA

 

I agree with saturneptune, blackbird, and the like.

Love her, Bruce! Love her wide open. Let her see the love of Jesus in you. You cannot change her, but God can, and will. Have faith, dear brother.

 

First don't be pushy, be sweet and humble, and tell your wife that it's important to teach your children the truth whatever that may be. Be willing to give up the Baptist name and make some compromises. Your kids salvation is at stake here forget the church issue. Focus on what's important, love your wife, love your kids and teach Christ crucified to them. Tackle bad doctrine very subtly, let your wife "discover" the truth on her own. Catholics are generally great people, and believe that Christ is the Savior just like you and I.

 

Well it is not the end of the world that she is Catholic. Most of my family is Catholic, but I am a Baptist. I would say examine your wife's heart, her faith in God, her charity toward others.

Many Catholics misinterpret Catholic Doctrine and feel if they do good works they can get into heaven this is really untrue even in Catholic theology, but most Catholics don't know that. Catholics believe in works because of James 2:14

And 1 Corinthians 13:13

This however only means to have faith one will outwardly show this by doing good works in life. For a person of faith doing good works and being charitable and loving to your brothers in Christ should naturally follow. Many protestant denominations don't downplay the importance of works, but believe faith alone( which someone who has faith will also have good works otherwise they have dead faith) is all that the Apostle Paul says one needs to be saved. If many Catholics would study their religion more closely they would realize their grave misunderstanding of their own religion.

Praying to saints and Virgin Marry doesn't sit so well in my stomach either. I can't say I agree with that either, but again this is another Catholic doctrine most Catholics completely misunderstand. If they would study Catholicism more closely they would realize their error. The Catholic Church always has taught that a Christian can worship only God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. No creature, no matter how good or beautiful--no angel, no saint, not even the Virgin Mary--deserves adoration. The Catholic Church supports praying to saints so the saints can pray for them. "Mary say a prayer for me" it should never be "I pray to Mary to save me." Many Catholics however do the former which is a grave moral error. In the book of Revelations the dead saints were praying, but that is very flimsy evidence to support it. In the gospels Jesus said to that all generations should call the virgin Mary blessed so that is their verification for venerating her. They also make this claim because it says in the bible that you should pray for each other. I however would prefer a living person to pray for me, but maybe that is just my personal preference. Asking living friends and relatives to say a prayer for you seems to me the much more logical choice.

The Catholic doctrine itself is not that dangerous it is the gross misinterpretation of it that leads to such idol worship. The Catholic church over the generations has done a very poor job of correcting errors that are practiced by both the clergy and the laity. Unfortunately their is a lot of idol worship in Catholic churches and things that probably are causing the Saints in heaven to be fuming with anger. Priests also seem not to educate the laity on the bible like the protestant ministers do and this could be a big reason for such a large amount of Catholics having a very flimsy grounding in what the bible actually teaches.

So stand by her, correct her errors in beliefs. Make sure her faith in God is strong and that she is circumscribed in the Spirit of Christ. Stand by her, don't divorce her. Marriage is for life. Love her and cleave to her.

 

Excellent post.

 

Bruce:

I haven't visited this forum for quite a long time, but received an e-mail notification that there was a post on this thread.

I will keep you in my prayers. I was once exactly like your wife, but my husband and his family loved me and lived their faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. When Catholicism is all you know (as with your wife) and you have had it drilled into you since childhood, and based your life around that, the simple gospel threatens to rock your world and everything you have lived for. It's very scary to someone who loves the Catholic Church as your wife probably does. To them, the Catholic Church IS Christ. I was there; I know -- it took me 15 years to give up Catholicism for salvation in Christ alone.

Just love her and continue to do what you know is right.

My prayers are with you, your wife and your children.

Blessings!

Priscilla Ann

 

Hi, Bruce. I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I gotta ask, why wasn't this discussed beforehand, before you got married? This is the kind of thing that's supposed to be addressed before marrying someone, not after making babies with them. You chose to eat at an Italian Restaurant, but are now complaining that dim sum is not on the menu. That's not reasonable.

The biggest priority for you right now is family unity, and preserving your marriage. If your religious differences are tearing up your marriage, then you, being the husband, need to do whatever is necessary to mitigate the damage. It sounds like your wife is unwilling to give up her church life. If that's the case, then, for the sake of your family, I suggest that you start attending church with her, so that the two of you can be worshipping together. Over time (and it might take a LONG time), if you treat her faith with respect and let your words be salt instead of vinegar, then she'll start treating yoru faith choices with respect as well. Only then can the two of you start working together towards finding a church home that is suitable for the both of you (it might be anglican, lutheran, or something similar).

Now, you might ask why I'm suggesting you do the "giving in" here. The answer is simple. You made that choice when you married. It wasn't important to you then, so it's unreasonable to make an issue of it now. What's reasonable now is to do what it takes to preserve your family, and if that means you change your preligious practices, then that's what you need to do.

Annsi brought up something important here. It sounds like your wife sees your actions more as a threat to her, and less about it being scripture per se. Why not speak to her priest, like Annsi suggests? I'm willing to bet her priest can give you some advice on how to incorporate scripture into your kids' lives, and how to alleviate your wife's fears. You definitely need to work on making your wife feel comfortable that you're not a threat to her or to your kids.

One this is certain. If you continue to play the "my religions is better than your religion" game, your entire family will lose.

 

Bruce was a Roman Catholic when they married. He was saved from Romansim by the grace of God and then the problems began.