Men Marrying Late -- Or Not At All

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Martin, Aug 7, 2006.

  1. Martin

    Martin
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    Men Marrying Late -- Or Not At All By Dr Al Mohler

    Do you agree with Mohler that this is a serious problem? Why/why not?

    As a single, never married and never to be married, college educated (BA and MA) male, I am not sure that I am in a position to be critical of Dr Mohler's statement(s). However I wonder if this "trend" Dr Mohler is worried about is a real problem.

    While I know guys who certainly need a wife, and while I agree that "most men" need to be married (same w/ women), I am not so sure that people should seek their "personal fulfillment and sense of self" in another (sinful) human.

    So, what say you? I am curious. :wavey:
     
  2. Spoudazo

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    Many godly men are called not to marry. It is not sinful to marry or not marry. You do God's will, that is all. :)

    Matthew 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. 11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

    1 Corinthians 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
     
  3. Chris L.

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    In answer to your question, yes I think it's a problem, at least for me anyway. I'm 33 and have never been married but I would really like to be, God willing. It's been on my mine a lot lately.

    As for you, if you have no intention of getting married and are not bothered at all by being single, than you have the rare gift from God of singleness, and it is rare. Many men think they have it, but we soon find out with all the sex scandels in various churches that they really didn't after all.

    I believe God want's some people to stay single to enable them to fully concentrate on the Lord's work. If you're not doing that already, I'd pray for direction from the Lord and get involved, he may have big plans for you. Of course he wouldn't have you do anything he didn't give you the ability to do.
     
  4. preachinjesus

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    I've disagreed vociferiously with Dr. Mohler in his views of singleness and marriage in the past and continue to do so today.

    With our ever change cultural paradigms we must be ready to accept differing life trends and life stage developments for different people. Too often we, in the church, have marginalized singles and tried to make marriage the penultimate institution to be a part of (the body of Christ being above that) and Scripture gives cogent testimony otherwise. It is good to remain single (if that is your calling.)

    A justied spirit and continued sanctification are, imho, the greatest stabilizers for anyone. Marriage is good (I, personally, recommend it) but not a better estate.

    We must celebrate the opportunities of singleness and not try to return to some obsolete Puritanical way of thinking which is contrary to Scripture.

    but I'm just a simple singles' minister :D
     
  5. Brother Bob

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    How would you know that you were a blankey de blank if you didn't have a wife to tell you?:laugh:
     
  6. LeBuick

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    This would imply God should change with the changing cultural paradigm. The Church is and should be in line with the word of God no matter how society changes.

    At Martin, is it ok for us to ask why you choose to remain single? If it's not ok then I understand. May I also ask if you feel an attraction to the opposite sex or are their other reasons you prefer to be alone?

    When I am asked this question, I usually go back to the garden and read where God said it is not good for man to be alone.

    24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
    25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

    However, as Spoudazo already pointed out, there are three types of Eunuchs. Some are born, some are made by men and some which have made themselves.
     
  7. RandR

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    Seriously, how big of a problem is this? Are there THAT many heterosexual men out there who just don't want to be married because they don't have time, are married to their jobs, or simply don't want someone to "cramp their style?"

    He has stumbled upon and eloquently critiqued a group of people who probably represent less that 1 percent of the population.
     
  8. Martin

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    ==I am constantly amazed at this question. Why is it when someone says they don't wish to get married that someone always, almost without fail, implies/states that it is because the person has homosexual feelings (etc)? The fact is that most single people are not homosexuals. Most singles are just single for one reason or the other. Maybe, in our society, we just can't accept that someone does not want to get married? Maybe this is why most church's "singles groups" are nothing more than dignified versions of the dating game? I don't know the answer. Btw I am not crashing all singles groups...

    As for why I am remaining single...there is no one reason. Since you don't know me personally I don't see how I can explain any of my reasons to you. Those who know me personally, while most wish I would change my mind, understand my reasons. Btw, it has nothing to do with feeling "an attraction to the opposite sex" or anything like that.

    ==If you look at the verse, and its context, closely you will see that it has nothing to do with marriage today. What did God say? "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Gen 2:18). In the text God is simply saying that it is not good for Adam, "the man", to be alone in the world. He needs a mate to be his helper and so he can reproduce. This verse has nothing to do with marriage and singleness in the modern day.

    As for Genesis 2:24-25, that describes the proper state of those who are married.
     
  9. Martin

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    ==I have mixed views on Dr Mohler's position on this. I am ready to agree with him but then he says something like, "Marriage is...one of the most important factors in the social impact of men and in their personal fulfillment and sense of self", and he loses me. In my view Christ, and Christ alone, should be the source of personal fulfillment and sense of self in any Christian's life. Maybe I am misunderstanding Dr Mohler?

    ==Churches, in my experience, treat singles in one of two ways...

    1. As a possible husband/wife for themselves, their children, or that nice person down the pew/street. In this view singles are just people who they must make sure get married.

    2. Ignored.

    Both ways are mistakes. Singles should be treated like everyone else, number one. And number two married people should not feel obligated to "match up" every single they know :smilewinkgrin: . For those who are overly serious that last sentence is a joke, ha, ha, ha!
     
  10. Martin

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    ==To some extent I was thinking the same thing. There are not, and there should not, be that many people who just don't wish to get married. Marriage is certainly the norm for the majority of people. I am not sure the problem is as massive as Dr Mohler thinks it is...
     
  11. Spoudazo

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    Have ya'll ever heard the story of Brother Percy Ray? (now in heaven)

    He was engaged to R.G. Lee's daugher, but after praying and fasting for several days, the Lord told him he was not to marry. He then lived a rather long life and he was single. There were never any accusations of anything bad going on, etc. God kept him and used him to start Camp Zion. :)
     
  12. El_Guero

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    Yes, IMHO, it is a problem.
     
  13. gb93433

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    Form a worldy perspective it could be viewed that way. I do not have to wonder how Jesus and Paul would stack up against Mohler's theology.
     
  14. LeBuick

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    Sorry you misunderstood the purpose of my question. I was in no questioning your sexual orientation. I understand people are single for one reason or another which was the motive to my question, why do you choose to remain single?

    It's hard to asnwer your original question without knowing why you choose this life style. To explain, if it's because marriage will "cramp" your style then yes, it is wrong to remain single.

    When one chooses to live outside the norm, they should also accept the questions that go along with the choice. As an extreme example, I can choose to wear my pants backwards. If I do, I should expect to be questioned. Sorry to say this but i'm a very truthful person, you appear to be fairly defensive about your choice.

    I completely understand and agree, you don't have to explain your reasons to me.

    Correct, God is saying Man should have a help mate so he can reproduce and enjoy a full and complete life. There are aspects of living one can't experience alone. Not to sound cold but you ought to have someone who will cry at your funeral. Usually, that's not your job. Life is way more than work so I hope that's not the reason.

    I take the verse to say, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother". It does not say therefore should any man that wants to be married and it doesn't say therefore shall some men but I take it to be all. Yes, there are exceptions. Jesus was not married. There is debate about Paul so I won't use him.

    Again, sorry if I offended but truely I was asking in the spirit of love...
     
  15. EdSutton

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    Tossing in my two Lumas worth- (I really need to find some additional new fractional coins to toss in.) :laugh:

    I married for the first and only time May 8, 1999 at age 50. My lovely bride, also for the first time, was 37.

    One friend asked me why I had not married earlier. After thinking about it for a few seconds, I responded with, "I guess the best way to answer this is to say that over the years, those I would have had wouldn't have me, and those that would have had me, I wouldn't have." Just FWIW.

    Ed
     
  16. StefanM

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    Singleness is only a "problem" for those who want to get married.

    If you have no desire to get married...that desire is not inherently wrong.

    If, not being married, you choose to pursue the things that go with marriage, your pursuit is wrong, not your singleness.

    As far as Dr. Mohler goes, the man sometimes seems obsessed with marriage and children. Sometimes it seems like he wants people to get married at 12 and have 25 children. I know that's not what he would really advocate, but I just get that feeling sometimes.

    As far as the church goes, single people are definitely marginalized. This is a sad fact.
     
  17. LeBuick

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    Amen... :applause: Oh and congrats on your marriage....
     
  18. HeDied4U

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    Didn't know Dr. Mohler was a comedian.
     
  19. El_Guero

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    AMEN! & Ditto!

     
  20. El_Guero

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    Personally, I have found the problem to be much greater for men (& women) that desire marriage than it is for singles that want to remain single.

    Married men say, "Thank God you are single! You don't have to deal with a wicked woman like my wife!" Single Christian women think you have ulterior motives if you ask them out.

    A woman friend one time told me, "I tho't all men were evil until God finally got my husband to get my attention. Thank God he did - I was so wrong in the way I thought about singleness and marriage."
     

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