Mini-skirt wearing pianist?

Discussion in '2000-02 Archive' started by Music Man, Oct 17, 2002.

  1. Music Man

    Music Man
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    I am a minister of music, and at this church I was at for a time, there was a youth who was our pianist for a little while. She wore the shortest and tightest mini-skirts and shirts she could find :eek: . It really made me uncomfortable. I did not think she should be at church dressed like that, much less up in front of the church at the piano. It drove me crazy!

    Was I wrong, or should she really not have been in front of the church dressed like that? What do you think?

    SDG,
    Chris

    [ October 17, 2002, 10:10 PM: Message edited by: Music Man ]
     
  2. GrannyGumbo

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    Sounds to me like that church needed more people with the right kind of bones...Backbones! :rolleyes:
     
  3. MissAbbyIFBaptist

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    Amen Granny! That's a terrible testimony for a church to have someone up exposing themselves like that!
    Normaly I would say not to go against God's man, but your pastor should have done something about that. HE should have spoke to the girl. It is God's church, and he is sheperd over it. He will have to answer for how he lead his people.
    If lost people see suposed Christians doing as the world, then how are they to see a diffrence in us? Why would they want salvation if they saw us living like the world? It's just not a good testimony.
    No girl should wear clothes like that anywhere, if you want my opinion. Even when you aren't at church, you're still suposed to live out your faith. We are to dress modestly. Dressing like that does not sound very honouring to the Lord if you ask me.
    ~Abby
     
  4. Scarlett O.

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    No, I don't think it is the pastor's place to tell the church pianist that she can't wear mini-skirts to play in.

    There are several people in advance in front of him who should have already told her.

    </font>
    • First and foremost, her mother should have said, "You shall not leave the house dressed like a hooligan."</font>
    • Secondly, the minister of music. If she got past her mother, then he should have said, in the presence of her parents, "I'm sorry, but you can't play the piano wearing skirts this short. It is drawing attention to yourself and you are distracting others."</font>
    • If he feels uncomfortable, then he could enlist a couple of female members of the choir to help him out. They could say, in the presence of her mother, "Dear, Bro. Jones has asked us to talk to you about a private matter. You cannot play the piano in those short skirts."</font>
    • Lastly, instead of enlisting female choir members, the minister of music could ask the pastor's wife to approach her about this in the presence of her mother.</font>
    It's all very simple, and here are four avenues to take before having to ask the preacher to step in and conference a young woman about her thighs and underwear showing. That's probably not best. This is the minister of music's jurisdiction.
    Peace-

    YSIC
    Scarlett O. [​IMG]
    &lt;&gt;&lt;
     
  5. TaterTot

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    or take the easy way out and throw a choir robe on her! [​IMG]
     
  6. AdoptedDaughter

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    Interesting idea.....hmm..... [​IMG]

    ~Teresa~
     
  7. AdoptedDaughter

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    One question....did she dress like that before she was asked to be a pianist?

    ~Teresa~
     
  8. Music Man

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    Just for clarification, I simply asked the pastor how I should handle it. I did not ask him to handle it for me.

    Chris
     
  9. Music Man

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    Believe it or not, that is an interesting question. Yes, she did dress that way before. The problem was, I did not want her to be pianist. I was filling in on the piano before she started, but people in the church did not like me playing the piano. They thought I should be standing up front flapping my arms "like all good song leaders should", so they forced me to use her.

    Also, we didn't have robes, though that is exactly what I would have done. (I guess in retrospect, I could have bought one, couldn't I, but I didn't. Isn't hindsight 20/20?).

    Chris
     
  10. AdoptedDaughter

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    Believe it or not, that is an interesting question. Yes, she did dress that way before.
    Chris
    </font>[/QUOTE]That's the problem right there....She dressed like that before, she was asked when she dressed like that, and I'm sure in her mind she doesn't see why she should have to change now....When you ask someone to do something, and they dress a certain way, they don't see any reason why they should have to change....Did anyone talk to her about it before she became a pianist?

    ~Teresa~
     
  11. Music Man

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    I probably would have, had I stayed there long enough after she became pianist. At the time, there were a lot of things wrong going on in the church, and the last thing needed was something else for people to get upset about. Confronting her and her parents would have made them (especially the mother) very upset. They would not have understood. Her mother is living vicariously through her daughter, by taking her to beauty pagents, etc. So, she wants everyone one to see the beautiful daughter she has (and to see more of her than anyone should see :eek: [​IMG] ). It really is a sad situation. Very nice people, just a bit misguided, to say the least :rolleyes: .

    Chris
     
  12. AdoptedDaughter

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    I probably would have, had I stayed there long enough after she became pianist. At the time, there were a lot of things wrong going on in the church, and the last thing needed was something else for people to get upset about. Confronting her and her parents would have made them (especially the mother) very upset. They would not have understood. Her mother is living vicariously through her daughter, by taking her to beauty pagents, etc. So, she wants everyone one to see the beautiful daughter she has (and to see more of her than anyone should see :eek: [​IMG] ). It really is a sad situation. Very nice people, just a bit misguided, to say the least :rolleyes: .

    Chris
    </font>[/QUOTE]Then it is not her fault, at least not 100%...It was the responsibility of a mature Christian to talk to her....Living in sin (causing others to sin) is something that should be dealt with, no matter the state of the church...Just because the church is going through rough times doesn't mean that you just sit back and watch it happen, it means that you need to take inititive and be the salt in that church....Instead of blaming others, look at the situation and why it wasn't corrected before.

    ~Teresa~
     
  13. Scarlett O.

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    Hi Music Man-

    In my repy, I was advising against going to the pastor not because of anything you had said, but because the previous poster, SavedbyGrace, had said that she felt it was the pastor's place to do so.

    I was disagreeing with her.

    Peace-

    YSIC
    Scarlett O. [​IMG]
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  14. Music Man

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    No problem Scarlett O. I agree with you. I just felt I needed to clarify that I was not abdicating my responsiblities.

    Thanks for your input!

    SDG,
    Chris
     
  15. Helen

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    My daughter (18) read this and said "Someone ought to give her some cute boxer shorts! She'd get the hint then."

    I don't know if that's true, but I enjoyed that response from her.
     
  16. just-want-peace

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    saved by grace 1999
    AMEN! This lil snippet of info applies to a whole heap of the posts on this board!!
     
  17. pinoybaptist

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    She never should have been asked to play the piano at all for your church. Like, if I knew somebody who liked to ogle at kids I wouldn't think of asking him to watch my kids. Simple as that. [​IMG]
     
  18. redwhitenblue

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    Well first of all, it certainly was not the job of the pastor to say anything and in fact would have been highly inappropriate for him to do so. If anything, her mother should have been addressed about the situation, the pastor's wife or a lady in the church. These matters are to be handled with care as to not place shame or offend the girl. I personally am highly against dress codes in the church, however if someone is actually becoming distracted by another's dress especially when both have a job up front to do, something needs to be done.

    Karen
     
  19. Rev. G

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    1 TIMOTHY 2:9 - "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety...appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

    Music Man:
    Didn't the youth minister and/or his wife address her at one time?

    If I had been the pastor at that church, I would have kicked them out, along with anyone else who didn't agree with me! :D BTW, this is an inside joke for Music Man, so please don't reply with any opprobious remarks.

    Rev. G
     
  20. Music Man

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    I don't know.

    [​IMG]

    [ October 21, 2002, 05:02 PM: Message edited by: Music Man ]
     

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