Modesty/Pants & Skirts - mostly questions for men -

Discussion in 'Fundamental Baptist Forum' started by annsni, Oct 12, 2007.

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  1. annsni

    annsni
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    I was going to do it in a poll but couldn't figure out how I wanted to do it so thought I'd ask here.

    On a number of other boards and forums I go to, the issue of modesty and skirts/dresses vs. pants comes up. One of the things that the women say about wearing pants is that when you wear pants, it hugs your bottom/crotch and men will look at your bottom/crotch and lust so we must keep our bottoms/crotches hidden.

    Now, I can carry that out and say that men will look at your breasts and lust so we must keep our breasts completely hidden (not just covered but somehow hidden - bound maybe?? Or else mumus do the same thing - LOL), or for those who are feet men and see a pair of feet in sandals and lust, we must keep our feet covered. Hmm - maybe leg men are turned on by skirts because, even in very long skirts, they have glimpse of ankle....

    So, what I want to ask is, if a woman is in a pair of pants (I'm not talking about the tight, tight, low cut kind but a regular old pair of Levis or even dress slacks that don't hug the bum), does it draw your eye to the bottom and cause you to lust more than a skirt would? Do you lust after women in pants more than you would a woman in a skirt (not short skirts but modest skirts - knee length or below)? I know you're not to lust but please be honest and let me know what you might have to turn your eyes from more. Thanks!

    I'm not a guy but I don't see how a pair of regular slacks and a sweater is revealing and causing lust, but that's just little old girly me. LOL! I want the opinion of real men!
     
  2. Joe

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    True
    A coat usually works fine.


    Yes

    Yes usually

    Hmmm......
     
    #2 Joe, Oct 12, 2007
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  3. Helen

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    I'm laughing, Ann.

    I came in from the horses a bit ago. The hay we got this delivery is very fine. I say that because I am in jeans with a 'country girl' sweatshirt on which has pink and blue hearts on it, and I am dusted with hay grass in bits and pieces. If this is a turn on to any guy I think that guy has a real problem!

    On the other hand, when it gets windy and a skirt, regardless of length, blows up......

    If it does not blow up, it is either very heavy or very tight. The first is a pain and the second is no better than tight pants and maybe a little worse!

    Hate tight pants. I've got to be able to move and work around here!

    Love wearing dresses and skirts, though, and feeling more feminine. Each has its place and time in my life.

    Sorry I'm not a real man, but I couldn't resist responding!
     
  4. annsni

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    Oh Helen - you're like me. LOL! I went to the barn one day ready to go out to eat and everyone was shocked how I looked. I said "Yeah - my hair isn't full of sweat and horse slobber, my clothes are clean and I have make up on! This is what I REALLY look like!" Most of the time, I'm in britches or jeans, an oversized shirt, hair in a pony tail and slobber everywhere (Whirl likes to mark me. LOL)
     
  5. PastorSBC1303

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    Interesting questions.

    From what you described, IMO, I do not think it matters skirt or pants. If a guy is going to lust after someone they are going to find a way to do it.

    If they are committed to not lusting then either of those would be appropriate.
     
  6. Joe

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    For the record, I didn't say I lust after anyone. I was just answering the questions as a favor to Ann
     
    #6 Joe, Oct 12, 2007
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  7. SBCPreacher

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    Gotta agree with you. But... there are some who dress as if they are looking for someone to lust after them - and there's plenty around to oblige.
     
  8. annsni

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    I was hoping I got that across - that it doesn't mean you ARE lusting but that it can cause you to if you don't turn away or whatever. You know? I'm just trying to get some men's perspectives because I know what "bothers" me in women's dress but I don't know what entices and is lust-causing.
     
    #8 annsni, Oct 12, 2007
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  9. tinytim

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    No... at least not for me...

    Neither make a difference...

    Interesting note: Going through our church records, I found where a pastor was thrown out, because his wife wore a skirt that allowed her ankles to be shown....

    I guess our church has had in it's past a bunch of "feet men" lol
     
  10. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K)
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    If I don't guard my eyes it makes no difference what a woman wears as to whether or not I lust.
     
  11. readmore

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    I can't think of a more perfect way to put it than that.
     
  12. rbell

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    Yep. If a man doesn't train (learn to avert) his eyes, protect (capture thoughts & subject them to Him) his mind, and guard his heart, the woman can wear a circus tent and he'll still potentially have problems.

    Some guys ogle more when a woman wears a skirt. IMO modesty is attainable in pants. And dresses/skirts aren't synonymous with modest.

    A Christian woman should take care to not cause a brother in Christ to stumble because of her clothing. Having said that...when a man has a real lust problem, there comes a point at which he has allowed lust to rule his thoughts so much, that it's no longer about what a woman wears. He just lusts.
     
  13. Joe

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    Rbell,

    Imho, many men, if offered, would love to push a button and never feel lust for anyone other than their spouse. So to say someone lusts because they allowed this to happen is usually untrue. Often they don't like what they did. This is a falsehood frequently promoted in Christian circles, and can really knock a person down.
    It's not always a matter of what men want. Maybe the devil is harder at work on some people. The devil loves self-blame, and for us to think we have this absolute control is naive. It's not solely our responsibility as men. People are raised differently, and have a different genetic make up which contributes to the level of struggle.
    I know of the verse which states God will always give a way out.

    Truly seeking God for guidance and help is the answer. If the lusting is still present, then accept it. I like to believe, in most cases, the struggle is lessened or ceased. Yet maybe not. God can choose not to take away that particular struggle as of yet, and that's fine. His plan is his plan. No worries.

    Example: I don't drink. I don't like the taste of alcohol nor feel any positive effects from it. But that doesn't mean someone who struggles with the drink "has allowed it" to happen. What it does to their bodies, that addictive rush, is something alcohol doesn't do to me. This is why I don't have even 1% of the struggles they do in this area. So I won't take credit for "not allowing it to happen" My chemicals are different, and maybe my childhood-adult life was different.

    I love to bike ride, and I am addicted to it. I don't tell people they are lazy or don't take responsibility because they do not stay in shape. I know God granted me the ability to love my riding, and granted me the chemicals which drive me to desire it. I miss that rush, that fix when I do not get it. Others are not like me. Their systems are more sluggish, maybe they aren't as healthy, nor as hyper. Could be many reasons.

    Maybe if they pray, and attempt some exercise, God will get them in shape. He may only give them the energy to walk a mile or so a few times a week. That's better than nothing. We're all different.

    Just wanted to add my two cents worth.
     
    #13 Joe, Oct 12, 2007
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  14. Joe

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    I am wondering "how someone dresses as if they are looking for someone to lust after them" and who is qualified to judge this.
     
    #14 Joe, Oct 12, 2007
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  15. Joe

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    Yes, I know. I thought I better state that anyway, just in case :)
     
  16. SBCPreacher

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    It's really not hard to tell - just look around. Look on TV, in the movies, at your local high school or college. It's all over the place. I'm not saying that every woman (or young lady) dresses this way, but it's REAL obvious that some do. Some dress to be looked at. And there are a bumper crop of men looking.

    As for who is qualified to judge this, as a red-blooded American male, who, by the way has four daughters (who DON'T dress like that), I believe that I can fit those qualifications. To some, it may be somewhat hard to describe, but I know it when I see it.
     
  17. Joe

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    Alright. I didn't get a general description from you, and if I had, I wouldn't refute it anyway. I believe I understand what you are saying but I can't agree with your conclusion based solely upon someone's dress attire. It's a negative conclusion, using faulty generalizations about certain people based upon their clothing. These same people may attend your church, and I would hate to believe church folks would think such a thing. That certain people attend the church for the purpose of inciting others to lust after them. That should be far from our minds, as witnessing to them should be what we focus on.

    Imho, many of those females don't understand how powerful their attire is, or know any different. If asked, I doubt many would say they dress that way for that purpose.
    It's nice your girls don't dress that way, too many do.

    Do you understand ?
     
    #17 Joe, Oct 12, 2007
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  18. annsni

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    I have to say that MANY of the girls DO understand how powerful their attire is - and that's why they dress that way. I've spoken to girls in school and at youth group. These particular girls SAY that they're dressing sexy because they want to look good for the guys - to be sexy for them - that they want to turn them on. That's from their own mouths.

    SBCPreacher - I have 3 girls - just 2 of them are in high school right now (the other is 4) and I'm also grateful that they get it. Their favorite clothes? Jeans that FIT (no low rise jeans) and t-shirts. Whew!!
     
  19. Joe

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    Ann, your examples are of children so they talk as children. They are young girls who just attained a new sexuality and are trying it out. They are still children, only a small portion of females. SBC Preacher's comments were a generalization of all ages, since I didn't read any specific age. I assume he was speaking of females only.

    Remember when we were young?

    Imho, teens are usually forced to attend Youth Group, and at that age, they are known for their rebellion. It doesn't surprise me that they tell you this, but again, they are still children. I work with the Youth Group too. The Teen girls can be flirty.
     
    #19 Joe, Oct 12, 2007
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  20. SBCPreacher

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    Joe, you're in N. California. There are beaches out there. Are you saying that none of those ladies are wearing almost nothing hoping, and expecting someone will look?

    Just like some in their bathing attire, there are many young (or old) ladies in their tight fitting clothes or clothes that don't exactly cover them doing the same thing. They're trying to get noticed by the opposite sex and dress that way intentionally. Just open your eyes and look around.
     
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