A Newly defined disease is found to be widespread and highly contagious . . . February, 2015: Doctors at the CDC have released a statement this month disclosing a new disease that has already infected over half of the United States and is anticipated to continue to spread among Independents, Liberals and Conservatives alike. The disease itself affects the cells of a person’s entire body then goes dormant. The disease ravages the body and leaves serious side effects. These side effects have been deemed “Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic War Fatigue.” Symptoms include: • Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing our President pander to Muslim terrorists. • Uncontrollable heartburn every evening while listening to MSNBC and CNN. • Loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice. • Extreme hunger due to vomiting from nightly seeing Muslims murdering innocent people. • Bleeding from the eyes. This is not Ebola. It is your eyes reacting to accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al Sharpton as a legitimate news show host. • Since the disease consumes the entire body, every infected person is then identified as the disease itself. The official designation for “Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic War Fatigue” or, PIST-AWF. If you feel you are suffering from PIST-AWF, please notify your local election board and place your name on the list for a cure. The CDC expects a cure will be available in November of 2016 and will go into effect on January 20th, 2017 after a credible conservative candidate is elected and inaugurated into the White House as POTUS.