Not sure if this where to post this but I need advice.

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by joannalynn, Oct 12, 2004.

  1. joannalynn

    joannalynn
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    I will try to be as brief as possible with my post. My church is basically falling apart. I attend this church as a child, we had some trouble with Pastors. I did not attend for a while, while the last pastor was here my name got dropped from Membership. Since then he is gone and so are alot of other people, basically at that time the church split. Now to todays problems, Last year at this time we hired an Interm pastor, I since have become a member again. Had to meet with Pastor and decons, then be voted on by church members. Shortly there after we hired a Youth Pastor, fresh out of College and on fire for the lord. We at that time had a non existant Youth. The program grew, aprox 35 kids excepted the Lord this summer. We have a perticular Decon who in my own words was head hunting the youth pastor. Basically I think it's "old school" vs "new school" Youth group is growing, the rest of the church is not. All the sudden we find out that they have been calling private decon meetings, reprimanding the youth pastor for silly things. Anyway- the majority of the church does not know about this, then we found out decons wives were present at this meeting, NOT ACCEPTABLE, to me anyway. Interm Pastor no longer getting along with Youth Pastor, trying to get him to leave. He feels the lord has called him here. Interm Pastor decides all the sudden he'll be our full time Pastor, get rid of youth pastor. Calls for a vote on himself does not get the 80% our constution calls for. Gets mad takes a leave of absence. Decons again call meeting with youth pastor, wives again present, have a resignation letter all made out , tell youth pastor he must sign this or he will not get a good reccomondation from this church. He says I will pray about it, but I am not signing, I did not write this. Youth pastor decides its a no win situation, does not want to tear the church apart any more. Sunday morning comes, in church they read the resignation letter out loud, the letter he never signed or gave permmission to be read. He leaves, as hes packing the Interm Pastors 14 year old daughter comes to say goodbye, and says You know this is all your fault.
    Did I mention the Youth Pastor got 100% when he was voted in. I just feel that there have been many decitful things that have happened here. I presently do not feel that I can sit under the Interm pastors minstry and have trust and faith. I dont know what to do, I just keep praying. I am only touching on some of the things that have happend. I never knew that things were so secretive. I am sorry if this is all mummbled together. I am full of emotion about this, and am not sure how to express myself. I also apoligize for the length. If nothing else please pray for me.
    Joanna
     
  2. blackbird

    blackbird
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    The 2004 version of the Church of the Laodiceans!

    God bless your heart---I will be praying for you! Your church is not going at it "Solo"---lots of other disobedient churchs out there!

    Your buddy,
    Blackbird
     
  3. Craigbythesea

    Craigbythesea
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    Joanna,

    Welcome to the Baptist Board. I thank God that you found us and that you shared your situation with us so that we can pray for you.

    This very evening a friend of mine brought me up to date on what is happening in the Church that he recently left. There are many parallels between the two churches.

    When my friend came to me for advice several months ago, I to him that I believed from Scripture that he should remain faithful to his church until and unless God clearly shows him to leave. His father and others had strongly recommended that he leave the church immediately, but he listened to my counsel, prayed about it, and remained faithful to his church. God continued to use him there but the situations at the church continued to deteriorate rapidly. About a month ago they were so bad that my friend asked God to show him clearly what to do, and he received what he believed to be an answer from Go—to leave his church and join the church that he recently began to visit. He is now happy in his new church, and several of his friends from the old church have now also left and are attending other churches.

    Had my friend left his church several months ago, he would have joined a church where he now knows he would have not been as happy as he is in the church that he has now joined. It was good that he stayed put until it was God’s time for him to leave.

    I would encourage you to remain faithful for now to the church that you are going to, but that you earnestly pray that God will clearly show you what to do. I believe that God will answer that prayer and bless you for putting your trust in Him.

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Deacon

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    Amen brother Craig,

    I'm speaking from experence too, I'm one who stayed in a church that had a similar situation and have been blessed by doing so. Years later others who left still feel like they are missing something.

    Joannalynn, I'm certain that within your church there are many different versions of the story, every side is sure that they are doing the proper, biblical thing. In situations like these, everybody is looking for "the truth"; there are usually several versions and nobody will be satisfied.

    But God is still in charge. Trust Him!

    Some advise:
    Quietly wait on God to work things out.

    Be sure that you do not spread distructive rumors or gossip, even if you think it is right or true.

    Rob
     
  5. joannalynn

    joannalynn
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    I totatally understand that there is more than one side to this situation. The problem is this is only one situation, there are more. I was sitting on the fence about what had been happening untill the letter was read. Now if it was a standard resignation form it would be fine. IT was not, it was a letter that was never written or approved by the youth pastor. To me that is Fraud, which last time I knew was illeagal. Anyway, there is power in prayer, so thats what I keep doing.
     
  6. dianetavegia

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    Joanna, I'd begin a search for a new church that is 'run properly'. Pray, pray, pray and let the Lord lead you.

    Diane
     
  7. DavidsAngel

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    joanna I pray for you, I understand why you would want to stay in this church and why you want to leave. It's like trying to decide to leave home when things have just gotten too bad. This sounds like Deja Vu for me in a way. Take care may the Lord bless you and keep you, I will be praying for you!
     
  8. joyfulkeeperathome

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    I'm sorry if I missed something, but I have a question. Are you married? If so, what does your husband think the two of you should do? If you aren't married, have you talked to your father about this situation? What does he think?
     
  9. joannalynn

    joannalynn
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    I am married, My husband thinks we should leave. He has never like this Interm pastor. I attend more regularly than he does because of his job conflicts. I guess I am having more of a struggle than he is.
     
  10. joyfulkeeperathome

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    If he says to leave, then leave would be the right decision. Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Follow your husband's leading in this! He is the head of the household. HTH
     
  11. williemakeit

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    Good advice from all the others. Sadly, we on this BB cannot give you the answer since we are not personally involved with the situation. If your husband wants to leave, then it is a good idea to leave; however, encourage your husband to really pray about the decision. If he feels it is the Lord's leading, then by all means leave.

    Sadly, If you leave, otherwise, you will not find happiness and fellowship in a new church.
     
  12. Jason Garrett

    Jason Garrett
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    Like so many Baptist churches, it sounds like the Deacons have FAR too much power. The Biblical role of a deacon is to serve the body, not govern it. That falls to the Elders, which most Baptist churches do not have either.
     
  13. Charles Meadows

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    "Deacon boards" do alot of the devil's work for him! This is what happens when pride (I've been a deacon here for 30 years...) rears it's ugly head. I've seen this sort of thing in multiple churches. I think it's safe to say God will NOT be blessing that church.
     
  14. Rooster

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    I have faced, altough not so drasticly, a simular situation, and ulimatly came to the realization that God is soviern, and things don't happen by mistake, or luck, situations do not come into our lives unless God allows, and He could be allowing this situation to lead you to a new Church, I found peace when I left mine for the one God has lead me to, my advise, for what its worth, pray with your husband, for God to lead you to a new Church, and start a Spiritual Pilgrimage, and start visiting other Baptist Churches in your area, untill the Holy Spirit leads you to the one that God intends you to be at.
     
  15. freeatlast

    freeatlast
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    joannalynn
    while you may need prayer you also need to get out of that church. They do not need you and you certainly do not need them. This is the Lord's problem not yours and if He is judging them, and it sounds like He is, you do not want to be around for the final bout.
    Find a bible teaching church, I know that is almost imnpossible today, but there is still a few, and go their even if it means long drives.
     
  16. Jason Garrett

    Jason Garrett
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    Free...good advise, except for the last part. It's impossible to find a good bible-believing church now adays? Where is it you live? You sound very calous.
     
  17. intojesus

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    Dear Joanalynn,

    Wow I can feel your pain I myself am sitting in a HEAP of a mess at my own church. In my case its close to your own pain. My story is long and it would take me hours to put it all together but to bring it down we have a Pastors son(teenager now) that GETS away with everytjing and never held accountable. He is mean and lies, and creates trouble. The Pastors daughter(another teen) is cruel and both kids make fun of other teens and adults. Countless have tried to hold them accountable and have been met with the wrath of the Pastors wife. She herself has cut down people in front of others. Recently they hired a new Youth director, whom is the pastors son mentor. He has no college education and no experince. He allows the Pastors son to get pretty much away with everthing. He puts the son in the leadership positions. I just found out yesterday that this youth director has shared a private e-mail from me to him with the Pastors Son. The son opened his mouth and told someone whom shared it with me. He bragged that he was the Pastors son and he knew pretty much everything. The letter was about holding our student leades accoutable. Well I WAS DEVESTATED that my e-mail was shared. I also should mention I am a youth leader and work under this new youth director. I have heard him myself make not always kind comments but he protects the Pastors son so I guess he can pretty much do what he wants. I had a friend visit me from Florida once who has encountered these people and saw with her own eyes. I mention her because she is also new to this board. The question is why don't I just get out of there??? Here is my reason for staying, I believe God is teaching me to just BE STILL AND KNOW HE IS GOD!!!! He will deal with the rest. HE IS JUST! I also have some strong ties with the youth and love them dearly. They are like my children and I feel I must stay for now. When God is ready to move me He will. I so feel your pain and I have even felt anger at times, asking God WHY? The Pastors Son will be attending Liberty University next fall where he is going to seek to become a worship leader. Not sure how someone like him could be that but God will use whom He will use. He is also seeing to join the Worship team at Liberty again not sure how this can be but God knows and I trust Him. I have watched this young man bring pain to many. I have watched him be thrown out of events, I have watched his disrepect. Also it seems in our church that our Pastors seeks the prayers of the wealthy. It just feels that way. My bestfriend joined the church a year ago, they give a strong finanicial support, she said she was suprised to get a letter in the mail inviting her husband to be deacon. Not that he wouln't make a great deacon but the suprise came from on how really little they know him and they are not really involved in the church except on Sunday Mornings. Anyways there is so much more and I am rambling.... but I just want you to know how much I hurt for you and know you are not alone.

    intojesus
     
  18. steveo

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    I think 1 tim 3:4 would be appropriate.
    There are 2 sides to every story, but as a pastor
    if I am not holding my kids to the same standard as every other kid, I need to get out of the pulpit. I have heard of stories of pastors that would make your hair stand up, and why they are still in the pulpit, I have no idea.
    I know pastors are not perfect but they should be striving to live Godly and be above reproach.
     
  19. LorrieGrace

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    I agree with Steveo. If a pastor cannot control what goes on in his own family, he should not be pastor to a church. It is somewhat hypocritical to counsel others about problems that as pastor you are not confronting in your own house.

    I know intojesus and have visited her church. I have to admit that her pastor is an excellant preacher in the pulpit. And I know that she loves the youth that she works with.

    I, myself, have told her to leave and find another church but she just does not feel that the Lord would have her leave. So we all need to pray for her that the Lord will grant her much mercy while she is still there.

    BTW, I have met the pastor's son, and unfortunately, I do not have anything nice to say about him so I will say nothing. I just wanted to state that intojesus is NOT making any of this up.
     
  20. joannalynn

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    I just wanted to say thank you for all the input. I have been continuing to pray about this situation. One of the reasons I went back to this church before is that I felt if it was going to grow that is where I needed to be. Now I just dont feel that way. I am going to try a new church and take it from there. I have seen several of the church people including the interim pastor and they all act like nothing is wrong and its business as usual. I wonder if they notice the 10 people that are missing from church sunday morning? I am not the only one who hasnt been attending. Thanks again. I am sooooooooo glad I found this board.
    :D
     

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