Original Hymn

Discussion in 'Music Ministry' started by TheGriff, Aug 6, 2011.

  1. TheGriff

    TheGriff
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    The story behind the creation of this hymn goes back a few months when the organist played "Crown Him with Many Crowns" as the prelude prior to the service. The song was unfamiliar and the music seemed to sing, "Behold the Lamb of God Who writhes upon the tree."

    So that night, I hammered out the first verse. (Now the last verse). The music suggests a processional, but seems to me to be suited to capture the suffering of Christ--which is not limited to the events leading up to the crucifixion.

    A few days later I thought of all the times Christ suffered on this earth and made a list.

    I've written much poetry, most of it free verse. This is the first time I've tried my hand at crafting a hymn and I would appreciate any comments or suggestions. Thanks!

    BEHOLD EMMANUEL

    Behold Emmanuel! A manger is His bed;
    See how the most holy incarnate God now sleeps where cattle fed.
    The perfect Son of God and perfect Son of Man
    What lowly birth this night gives birth to God's salvation plan.

    Behold the Righteous One! Who by the Law's demand
    Is circumcised; His blood spills forth to fulfill God's command.
    The Laws we could not keep, He kept them every one.
    His suffering for sinful man this day has just begun.

    Behold the King of King who flees from lesser kings,
    Those who in darkness dwell can't abide the prefect light He brings.
    Every fox shall have its den, And every bird its nest,
    But never more upon the Earth shall Jesus Christ find rest.

    Behold the Bread of Life, fasting for forty days.
    Though sorely vexed by Satan's snares, no trap of hell could sway.
    Tempted, but sinning not; the spotless Lamb is He.
    Cling to Him when temptation arise to gain the victory .

    Behold the Lamb of God, dying upon the cross,
    He sheds His blood in agony to spare us endless loss.
    He suffered cruelest pain To ransom us from Hell.
    To describe the love of Christ, no words can fully tell.

    Alternate last stanza:

    Behold the Lamb of God, who writhes upon the tree,
    For us His life ebbs slowly away in cruelest agony.
    Upon Him falls our every sin,
    And all shame and disgrace
    Never again can anyone doubt Christ's love for Adam's race.
     
  2. David Lamb

    David Lamb
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    I expect with a little tinkering, your original hymn could me changed so that it can be sung to the tune of "Crown Him with many crowns". How about:
    Behold Emmanuel! A manger is His bed;
    See how the holy Son of God now sleeps where cattle fed.
    Both perfect deity and perfect Son of Man
    His lowly coming ushered in our God's salvation-plan.

    Behold the Righteous One! Who by the Law's demand
    Is circumcised; His blood He shed, obeying God's command.
    The Laws we could not keep, He kept them every one.
    His suffering for sinful man that day had just begun.

    Behold King Herod tried to kill this King of kiungs,
    And people who in darkness dwell abhor the light He brings.
    Though foxes have their dens, and every bird its nest,
    The Saviour, when He came to earth lacked any place to rest.

    Behold the Bread of Life! He fasted forty days.
    He fed upon the Word of God when facing Satan's ways.
    Tempted, but sinning not; the spotless Lamb is He.
    When you are tempted, cling to Him, and gain the victory .

    Behold the Lamb of God, in dying on the cross,
    He sheds His blood in agony to spare us endless loss.
    He suffered cruelest pain To ransom us from Hell.
    This matchless love of Jesus Christ, no words can fully tell.

    Alternate last stanza:

    Behold the Lamb of God, who writhes upon the tree,
    For us His life He freely gives in cruelest agony.
    Upon Him falls our sin, its guilt and its disgrace.
    How ever can we doubt His love for Adam's fallen race?
    I am sure my version can be improved, too. For example, if it's sung to the tune I know for "Crown Him with many crowns", the word which starts each verse, "behold", would have the emphasis unnaurally on the first syllable: "BEhold".
     
    #2 David Lamb, Aug 9, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 9, 2011
  3. Gina B

    Gina B
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    Make the last stanza about rising victorious. That way you encompass the entirety of His life on earth. His rising is proof of His mission accomplished and crucial to the story you're telling with these lyrics.
     
  4. David Lamb

    David Lamb
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    I agree. I should have noticed first time round! How about something like this?:
    Behold the King of kings, arisen from the grave.
    In heav-en now He intercedes for those He came to save.
    Our Saviour, mighty Lord, sits on His throne above,
    Victorious over death, He reigns, the glorious King of love!
     
  5. Aaron

    Aaron
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    We'd just have to start "behold" on the fourth count of the last measure, and it will fit fine.

    Tempted, but sinning not; the spotless Lamb is He.

    "Though tempted, He sinned not." A little better fit.
     
  6. David Lamb

    David Lamb
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    Not sure what you mean, Aaron. Are you saying that the word order should be changed, so that the "Be-" of "behold" would come on the fourth count of the last measure (or "the fourth beat of the last bar" in my language :) )? If that's the case, and assuming you mean "the last measure of the part of the tune for the first phrase of each verse," the verses would start (I've bolded where the stress would then come):
    Emmanuel behold!

    The Righteous One behold!

    King Herod tried behold!

    The Bread of Life behold!

    The Lamb of God behold!
    To me, that is no better, because it would still in many cases put the emphasis where is doesn't belong, on the word "The", and on the first syllable of "Emmanuel", for instance.

    Perhaps a better way would be to choose a tune that starts with an anacrusis - the last (thus unaccented) beat of a bar/count of a measure. On Cyberhymnal, Crown Him with many crowns is set to the tune Diademata (the tune we usually use). Alternatives given are: Nevin's Processional, Oliva Speciosa, and Tibberton. All of these start on the first beat of the bar, except Oliva Speciosa, but I don't know that one. The tune "Nearer Home", usually sung to the hymn "Forever with the Lord!" seems to fit well, and it does start on the last count of a measure.

    I agree about changing "Tempted but sinning not".
     
  7. Aaron

    Aaron
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    ..4....1,2..&..3.....4......1....2...3....4......1......2..3....4...1,2,3..4
    His / low-ly coming / ushered in our / God's salvation /plan. Be-/


    hold the Righteous One! Who by the Law's demand
    Is circumcised; His blood He shed, obeying God's command.


    etc.
     
  8. David Lamb

    David Lamb
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    Thanks Aaron. But if the tune used begins on the first beat of a bar/count of a measure, you still have a problem. Below is the tune "Diademata", the one we normally use for "Crown Him with Many Crowns", with the words of a verse from the hymn we're discussing. As you see, that tune starts on the first beat of a bar, so delaying the start of the words on the last beat/count, the lines of words as they fit the tune would be:
    (First Line) Behold the Righteous One! Who by
    (Second Line) The Law's demand is circumcised; His blood He shed, obey-
    (Third Line) -ing God's command. The Laws we could not keep, He kept
    (Fourth Line) Them every one. His suffering for sinful man that day had ....
    The tune would end with three syllables ("just be-gun") still to sing. As I suggested before, I think the best solution, short of changing the words entirely, would be to use a tune that starts on the last count of a measure.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Aaron

    Aaron
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    [​IMG][​IMG]
    My pics a little smaller. Hope you can read it.
     
    #9 Aaron, Aug 24, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2011
  10. SBCPreacher

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    This is great work, guys.
     
  11. Aaron

    Aaron
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    [​IMG]
    This might be a little clearer. Sorry about the small pic. I don't have a cool notation program, so I had to manipulate your image in one of my editors.
     

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