Pastoral Ethics Question

Experience tells us that there are many church hoppers thatt bounce from place to place looking to control things and cause problems. It is a sad reality and if you can find that out upfront then you are prepared to handle it.

I need to correct something I said earlier in this thread. I said I had never had a pastor call me about such a thing and that was wrong. There was one occassion. About a year ago I had a lady from another church in my association start attending. Her pastor, a man I have a great deal of respect for, called me to tell me that she had been to numerous churches in the area looking to cause problems for the pastor and control things. I was very polite to her when she attended, but I never visited her or made any sign that I wanted her to join our church. After a couple weeks, she moved on to a new place.

 

This bothers me. If you don't know this pastor or situation personally, then you are setting yourself up to possibly gossip. If the people are unhappy in their present situation, they might just need a break until they decide what they should do. Do you tell the people you are going to call their pastor or talk about them behind their backs? If you don't know the people or the pastor, who do you believe?

People have a responsibility to inform their former church if they are leaving and why. Give them the opportunity to do so before you rush to make a phone call or pass judgement.

 

Although there is no requirement, I believe it is common courtesy to tell your pastor why you're leaving a church, but most I know of never do. It would sure help if we knew why someone would leave so that we can address a problem (if there is one), but most never say a thing.

I'm not as concerened about someone leaving my church for another church - if they can best minister to them, that's find. I get concerened about those that leave and never attend any church. But, that's a whole 'nother issue.

 

I agree with Snoopy. My fear is a pastor may lose the trust of his people if he shares information with a second pastor. Confidentiality is important. Perhaps a pastor could simply say whether the couple left on good terms or not. Waiting to see what else is said concerning this.

 

I am not so sure that just because a person visits someplace else 2 times it means they are unhappy. Curiosity sometimes? A sense of calling? When I was a teenager, my family and I assisted with a mission startup. Wasn't because we were unhappy.

Re: why it is different for people to be absent from a start-up. I was just referring to the practicality of what it takes to open the doors.
For example, a couple of months ago, I was absent from the church of which I am a member. The church functioned without me just fine. The doors were still unlocked and locked back up, the thermostats adjusted, lights turned on and off, etc.

However, my husband and I have also helped with some mission churches. We had to take turns with other people if we needed to be gone, or the doors literally would not have been unlocked and the chairs put out, etc.

 

Snoopy,
You made some good points here.

Also, are the pastors on this thread saying that most people don't request their church letters when they move? I have always requested mine. My present church regularly grants letters and receives new members by letter. Maybe pastors and churches need to spell out these procedures more clearly.

 

I agree with calling the other Pastor. We call it "fishing in another man's cupboard" which is a big no, no. Remember, you reap what you sow.

Now I have a couple of families I would like to recommend other Churches but that is a different story.

 

For the church I am at now, a letter is almost worthless. To become a member one muct give evidence of a relationship with God through Jesus Christ by giving their testimony and have been baptized by immersion. The night I became a member was the same night a lady in the group became a Christian after she heard everyone else's testimony and realize she did not know Christ. I too have led Baptist church members to Christ over the years.

 

Is the church "my" church or ÿour" church? When did God give it to us? I thought it was His.