Pastoral Little White Lies

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by SaggyWoman, Oct 28, 2005.

?

Have you ever told a lie?

  1. No, as a church leader, I have never told a lie.

    45.0%
  2. I have told an extremely little white lie.

    25.0%
  3. I have not admitted to the truth, but not outright lied.

    5.0%
  4. I have lied on occasion, but it isn't my habit.

    5.0%
  5. I have bold faced lied about some things.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  6. I occasionally tell white lies because I have to.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  7. I usually lie about certain areas.

    5.0%
  8. Once, I did something that I felt I had to lie, but I don't usually.

    10.0%
  9. I can't answer this question.

    5.0%
  10. I don't want to answer this question.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
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    As a pastor or church staff member, have you ever told a lie to cover your tail?
     
  2. Brother Ian

    Brother Ian
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    I'm the first voter. I have had the opportunity to confront someone in leadership because she told a lie about me. Basically she said she had three witnesses who said I acted inappropriately during AWANA. As the Game Director, she said other leaders had told her of my behavior. She said they had told her that I had yelled and screamed at a child. Of course, this was not true and I spoke with the three witnesses. They denied even talking to this person. After speaking with her about the issue, she denied any wrong doing. Using the principles of Matthew 18, I spoke to her again about it. That did not bring her to tell the truth either. I called a meeting with my pastor, her, the alleged witnesses and some other key people in the AWANA club. It was obvious to my pastor that she had lied and was covering up. Unfortunately, nothing happened to her except my pastor knows she lies.

    This has happened before with this woman to others in the church, but I am the only one who has confronted her. She still lies and is rather well known for lying to cover herself.

    Its unfortunate, but at least my pastor knows her pattern.

    One other thing, it is never appropriate for the pastor or anyone else to lie. There is no such thing as a white lie, a lie is a lie is a lie. Some things are better left unsaid, but you shouldn't lie. . . ever. Its just not necessary or prudent.

    The truth will always come out. If you make a mistake, fess up and take your lumps.
     
  3. DHK

    DHK
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    Do you mean like when the pastor is shaking hands with the congregation after the service, and one of the members (or more)ask for prayer for a specific problem. Five minutes later you forget who the person was, and what the problem was? Or it may be you just forget to pray, even if you don't completely forget the request.
    DHK
     
  4. MikeinGhana

    MikeinGhana
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    While we should not excuse any untruth, aren't there times when we all "fudge the truth?" For instance, someone asks you how he or she is doing in a particular ministry. Do we tell the the truth or try to encourage them to just stick with it? When someone asks us how they look or how do we like this or that. Do we tell the truth or just try to keep the peace. We do this all the time with our spouses (especially on bad hair cut days).

    David lied to the King of a Philistine tribe. He was a man after God's own heart. I am only conmmenting on this to stir a debate. What do we mean by a "white lie?"

    Is it a black lie when we lie to hurt someone or deceive them? Is it a white lie if our motives are pure?

    As a pastor we are privy to a lot of confidential information concerning others. If we are asked about someone and we decline to answer with the truth, is that a white lie, black lie, or none of the above?
     
  5. Brother Ian

    Brother Ian
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    DHK,

    I don't think telling someone you'll pray and forgetting is lying. A lie is an intentional untruth. I believe if you remembered to pray, that you would pray for that person. When people ask me to pray for them, I ask them to write it down so I won't forget.

    As far as commenting on someone's hair, its not hard to get around that. Do you like it? is a good response.

    If you are not honest about a person's ministry, you're hurting them and the church. You can encourage them to keep at it, but you need to provide them with the tools that will help them to success. Many positions of leadership and ministry can be improved upon with training and guidance.

    Just because someone lied (or sinned in another way) in Scripture doesn't make it right. David committed adultery and murder. All that does is show us that God uses imperfect people, of which I am one.
     

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