Please help me Understand

This is not in the Bible. They are probably not Christians. They are definitely a bunch of bigots.

Joseph Botwinick

 

ur2,

First of all, I'd warn against stereotyping of Fundamental Baptists. I'm sure you don't like being stereotyped as a Hispanic, right? It may be that the area where you are is a pocket of FBs who have strayed from sound biblical doctrine.

To condemn your marriage is completely unbiblical. If the church, the family, and the entire area harbor the bigotry you describe, pack up and leave in the middle of the night! You can't always MAKE people accept you, but you certainly can find many places where you will be accepted.

 

There is ONE race -- the human race. You are both part of it. God bless you in your marriage and future.

 

Now I'm confused.

Did you marry with or without her parents' full approval?

 

Ok...maybe now I am confused, Aaron. Is there some scripture which says you have to get the girls parents permission before you marry her? I don't think I actually read that in the Bible. Perhaps you got that from Jewish culture? Were you watching Fiddler on the Roof when you came up with this idea?

Joseph Botwinick

 

Hyles-style theology etc. doesn't represent anything more than a small portion of independent fundamental baptist churches. We are a much more diverse group than that.

Jason

 

Hyles was not a great man. He was the next best thing to a Christian cultist. Here are some links to help you understand what you will be confronting:

http://www.straightistheway.com/warning/hyles/errors.html

http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/exposes/hyles/sin.htm

http://www.kjvonly.org/gary/jack_hyles_abandons_pr.htm

http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/exposes/hyles/pente.htm

There is tons more, but this should give you a pretty good idea of what the man was about.

 

Okay, that clears it up a little. I was thinking, "Gee, you've been married to this girl for 7 years and are just now finding out about their feelings?"

It's a moot point now that the deed's been done in my book.

Joseph,
We are to honor our father and mother. I've never talked to someone who married against their parents' full approval who didn't have serious marital problems (unrelated to the in-laws) later.

 

I knew I'd get someone to pop up with an exception.

There are always exceptions.

For example: we know that the one who said "honor thy father and thy mother" also said, "thou shalt not commit adultery." I know one man who years ago left his wife for another woman and has known nothing but bliss since then. That doesn't change the fact that most of the separated couples I've come in contact with have paid dearly for their disobedience.

"It's cheaper to keep 'er," they say.

Granted, it's only been in the last six years or so I started paying attention to the parental consent detail, but I'm confident that if we could poll those who got married despite their parents' objections we would find the results to support my statements.

 

What addiction did Jack Hyles and his son Dave have? SEX -- adultery and fornication. How awful are they? Jack went with the Lord shamefully.

 

Aaron, what does the parent's permission have to do with anything? I'm not saying that it is bad thing, but do you think that it is required?

I ask this because of my personal situation. My wife, before we were married, was saved at a church I attended. She is Mexican and I am white. After we started dating, her parents were not in favor. They allowed us to talk on the phone and see each other at church. After two years of dating we decided to get married. Her parents were not happy and her father said he would not come to the wedding. He did relent and our relationship slowly improved. We have now been married for 30 years.

 

I agree with Helen and the other like minded. My husband is black. When I introduced him to my mom, she took me aside and told me to get that N out of here and don't ever bring him back. I was crushed.

My dad always told me I was color blind. Not in a nice way. Race was never talked about when I was growing up. We of all colors played and grew up together. So thank God I knew from a child people are people, period. Had they known what might happen they may have indoctinated me into bigotry.

Hubby was a Christian, we were not. My dad would not even come to my house to see me. If I wanted to see him I had to go alone. He moved away and I never heard from him. When we had our second daughter, I had our oldest when we met. I sent a picture of her to my sister who was living by our dad at the time. My dad fell in love with her. My husband set the best example, I don't know how he took it, I would not have been able had I been in his shoes.

Some of my family were with me, others not. They all admire, love and respect him now. Most are saved! Just love their daughter and show the love of Christ, be the best example you can and you may win them over. No matter you are to cleave to one another not Dad and Mom. It was worth it all. He is the best thing that ever happened to me after meeting Jesus.

 

Ok Aaron, I am the third example so far, married without the blessing of our parents. It's been 31 years almost 32. Like Diane my parents divorced. Mom was married four times. My dad three.

My oldest sister has been married 40 years, baby sister(she's 35 years old) 15 years (I may be wrong here, if I am it's 16), oldest brother would still be married to his first wife, she chose other men and divorced him. His second wife and he have been married 25 all with out blessing of parents.

 

I do not believe they are true IFB. Sounds as if their doctrine is a bit warped.

I am IFB and I never heard of what you are speaking. Aren't we all different races? I am Italian and my husband is Swedish. Different races to me!

If you do move, find yourself a diffent IFB church. If you are moving in the Chattanooga area look up a Evangelist named Darrell Dunn. He works out of a IFB church down there and he is wonderful. He has a son who also is and evangelist David Dunn and Betty Dunn is the wife.

Good luck finding a good honest bible believing church.

 

But, we are also to leave our mothers and fathers and cleave to our spouses. Right? And didn't Jesus also say something about the Word of God dividing families?

I've never talked to someone who married against their parents' full approval who didn't have serious marital problems (unrelated to the in-laws) later. [/QUOTE]

This is good life experience and anctedotal evidence, but still doesn't really deal with what Scripture says.

Your good friend who feels like bustin your chops tonight... ,

Joseph Botwinick