Question about divorce and remarrage

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by RunAway, Mar 31, 2009.

  1. RunAway

    RunAway
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    This is something I have been struggling with for some time now...After long consideration I think I would like to share my story and see what answers I can come up with...I will get to the main point and post it then maybe answer questions if anyone has any...And thanks to all who has any thoughts...

    First I will say I have made some terrible mistakes..Not as a lost person (even though there is certainly plenty of them) but I think my biggest let-downs to myself have been after I was saved...I was saved at 25 years old and God turned my whole life around...But three years later I fell into sin and out of church for a season in which I met a young lady with two small children and a husband in prison and we entered into a relationship that was not of biblical grounds by a long shot and I don't think anyone has a hard time knowing what I'm talking about...
    Anyway, she got pregnant and divorced her husband and we got married...That was six years ago...We now have four children all together, have repented of our sins and have been in church strong now for five years and doing good,for the most part...We have a wonderful relationship,talk about Jesus all the time with the kids and live the average All-American lifestyle, for what that's worth...
    Now to my concerns: This is the first time I have ever been married..But I am really struggling with the notion that I might not be in the will of God in this marriage...I went through that season of sin and now for several years every so often the devil gets on me hard with this issue...I seem to find peace that God has forgiven me and my wife and move on but from time to time it pops back up in my mind; have I really been forgiven? Probably so,but that doesn't mean my marriage has Gods blessing on it....Some denominations believe I would have to divorce my wife to be right with God again...I don't believe I can loose my salvation ; I use to believe that, but God wont leave me alone long enough to believe that..But I want to be close to God again..Any thoughts please...
     
  2. Magnetic Poles

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    Your kids need their mom and their dad. DO NOT try to unscramble the egg. You have responsibility, a wife you love, and you should not throw that away to soothe your conscience of some sin that God has forgotten.
     
  3. RunAway

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    No, not thinking about that..Was looking for answers more along the line of can this marriage ever have Gods full blessing on it, and the such...
     
  4. annsni

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    Did God bless David and Bathsheba? After the loss of his child, God gave him Solomon so I do believe that his marriage to Bathsheba was blessed by God.

    I believe that once you repented of what was done wrong, and you now are looking forward, God can absolutely bless your marriage. Sometimes, though, there's enough baggage in our past that Satan will use to hitch us up. Lay it at the cross daily and know that it's done. It's been washed. It's no longer holding on to you. You two are married and the parents of wonderful children. Keep your eyes on Christ and you are in a good place.
     
  5. Steven2006

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    God has promised us that he will forgive our sins. He has promised us He will remember them no more. I understand the emotional pull to keep feeling guilty about some of our sins, and to revisit them and to ask God again and again to forgive us. However I believe that doing this disappoints God. He wants us to believe Him, trust Him, and move forward in our relationship with Him. How is are we going to move closer to God, if we keep living in our past? I heard a pastor once say that if we find ourselves in that cycle we should come to God, tell Him that we are going to trust Him, and this is going to be the last time we are going to ask for His forgives on the matter. Then make that a promise to Him, that you are going to trust His word, and that it is settled. God wants us to move forward. He doesn't want us to stay little children of faith only drinking milk. At some point we need to grow up and start eating meat. Holding on to our sins, does not allow us to do that.

    You will be in my prayers my friend.
     
  6. mcdirector

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    Of course it can have God's full blessing. You sinned, you repented, you are seeking God's will. Seeking Him is a good place to be IMHO.

    We all make decisions that aren't in God's will - jobs, moves, even spouses. Some of those are changeable, some aren't. The ones that aren't, we move forward with because God is going to use us when we submit to Him.

    Instead of wondering if your marriage will ever receive the full blessing of God, pray that God will indeed bless it fully - that He will make it the marriage filled with the marvelous love that only comes from Him.

    Bitsy
     
  7. JustChristian

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    I believe He already has in a mighty way. Both you and your wife repented of your sins and turned to Him for strength and hope. God has blessed you with four children. Do NOT worry about legalism in regards to previous mistakes made by you or your wife. The good news is Jesus not only saves but forgives. May He bless you and keep you.
     
  8. Tom Butler

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    RunAway, divorce and remarriage are not the Biblical ideal, but we Baptists, at least some, have made them unpardonable sins. Did Jesus' death on the cross cover everything but those sins? Is the blood not quite good enough?

    Look at the list of patriarchs: Abraham twice denied that Sarai was his wife. Isaac was a dysfunctional father who played favorites with his sons.
    Jacob was a deceiver. Jacob's sons conspired to kill their brother Joseph. Yet, the Savior came through the line of Judah.

    God's prophet-evangelist Jonah rebelled against God's call to preach to Nineveh. After he finally got Jonah's attention, Jonah preached, revival broke out; but Jonah got ticked off because so many repented.

    Noah got drunk, Lot got drunk and fathered children by his two daughters. Aaron helped the children of Israel build a golden calf. Samson had a woman problem. Then there's a guy named David.

    Peter denied the Christ; ate with Gentiles until Jews showed up until Paul got in Peter's face., James and John argued over power, John Mark pulled out of a mission trip; Paul and Barnabas had an argument, which led to a split in their ministry.

    RunAway, do I need to name some more flawed saints of God, whom God continued to use, and bless? How many times to you need to bring up a sin which God has already covered with his blood?
     
  9. RunAway

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    Thanks to all for all their feedback and thoughts...I can't express how much better I feeling today...
     
  10. mcdirector

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    Wonderful! :godisgood:
     
  11. RevGKG

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    Extremely insightful answer. May I quote you sometime?
     
  12. Tom Butler

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    You're welcome to borrow anything I wrote. I borrowed some of it from somebody else, myself.

    I want to be sure that I don't come across as being soft on divorce. I believe it comes as the result of sin (on somebody's part). And there are certainly consequences, often devastating. On the other hand, sometimes divorce can the be solution to a problem. Not ideal, but a solution nonetheless.

    My point is not to debate whether divorce is sin, but whether it's unforgivable or not, and whether RunAway should shoulder a mistake that God has already forgiven.
     
    #12 Tom Butler, Apr 3, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 3, 2009
  13. Jim1999

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    I personally think there is a difference between biblical divorcement and civil divorcement, and these are dealt with separately.

    Sometimes people get together before they are ready and problems persue. Yes, divorcement seems the only plausible answer. There is no meaningful reason to destroy an entire life because of one mistake.

    Our mistakes should edify us, and we should become better people for them.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  14. Plain Old Bill

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    You say you have repented ,then God has forgiven you, now forgive yourself. These doubts are from satan who will always accuse you and cause you to doubt whatever he can get you to doubt. Put this behind you. Tell Satan to get behind you.

    By the way you must be doing something right or Satan would never attack you.

    God Bless you, your wife, and children.:thumbsup:
     
  15. JeaniMarie

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    Satan condemns, God convicts. If you feel condemned, it's all the enemy. If it is a actual down right conviction, the only thing you can do is talk to Dad on getting things right. From what I read, it's condemnation, not conviction. May God (Dad) bless you!
     
  16. RockRambler

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    Once we repent, God forgives. Once God forgives, he doesn't look into our past at those sins already forgiven.
     
  17. Onlybygrace

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    In response to Annsni:

    Did God bless David and Bathsheba? After the loss of his child, God gave him Solomon so I do believe that his marriage to Bathsheba was blessed by God.

    Technically though by the time David married athsheba she was a widow which did not make it unlawful for David to marry her even though he was responsible for her husbands death.

    In response to Runaway:

    can this marriage ever have Gods full blessing on it, and the such...

    I think another way to ask that is: "Will God bless something if we didn't go about getting it His way?"

    Sometimes we do it right and sometimes we do it wrong. Sometimes we do the right things for the wrong reasons and sometimes we do the wrong things for the right reasons. The point is we seldom have the satisfaction of lining all our ducks up in a row. We both know God is not happy about what you did but at the moment I feel He is more concerned with where you are. What you're suffering from is a guity conscious for knowingly breaking God's law. That I'm afraid ia a consequence of sin that you are going to have to live with for the rest of your life. It's not that God does not want to bless your marriage but rather the way you went about it has robbed you of experiencing allthe blessing God has intended for your marriage. The same goes for any couple who sleep together before they get married whether it is adultery or not just the fact of fornication is enough to haunt you for apretty long time even though God has forgiven you. Sin leaves scars man, I know it happened to me to. Time will yield the wound but you'll always remember and regret a little. But don't let Satan use your guilt to incapacitate you, he loves doing that. Remember who you are in Christ. Have both of you asked your wife's ex-husband to forgive you for what you did to him? Because if you haven't that unresolved issue will give the devil a foothold in your life!
     

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