Featured Question about God's will for marriage.

i don't see us that far apart, as do agree that its normally much better to have parental approval and blessings, my concern is when one takes that to mean ALWAYS must have them to proceeed, even when the reasons to deny their wedding are NOT scriptural basis!

 

Yes--in a close healthy family dynamic I believe the persons planning to wed will seek the blessing of the parents.

But there may be times where the parents have forfeited that by their own sinful behavior.

And there will be times where effectively the man and woman planning to wed have not been under parental authority for some time.

I do not think God requires parental blessing if say a female doctor in Phoenix plans to wed the local asst d.a. These are adults. They may seek the blessing, but if her parents are in Peoria and his in Waco that wouldn't mean too much anyway.

While it may have been true that in the OT people did stay under the authority of the head of the clan as adults, clearly it did not always happen.

But you know what? Times do change. People in the OT did not use microwaves, but we do. They lived in close knit, sometimes near incestuous tribal groups. Today we live in a world where people do grow up and leave the nest well before marriage. And that does change things.

And again, I do not see anything in scripture that clearly states adult offspring must always obey their parents. Honoring and obeying are two different things, as are leading and bossing.

 

I was 29 and living on my own. My wife to be was 25 and living on her own. I was a seminary student and she was a school teacher. We didn't need anyone's permission or approval. We both knew this was God's will and that was good enough for us. And, after 18 years the marriage has only gotten better. I am a blessed man!

 

Exactly! And I bet you didn't seek to have your dad find you a wife, either.

Now, of course it is wonderful if the parents of the marrying couple know the person their adult child is marrying, love them, and approve of the whole shebang.

But we obey the Lord, not humans if there is a conflict between His will and their wishes.

Truly concerns me sometimes all this "authority" talk.

 

i was assuming the parents are saved in this OP, ansd were wanting best for their daughter...

Still think that the father might reject thehusband though for invalid reasons, like race, church background, chosen profession etc, so in those cases, God will be done!

 

Of course.

Father, it is our expectations that your word open the understanding and wisdom of this young man as he pursues education. Appoint to him great understanding that he not only be successful, but a guide and help to other students, too. Present him as an absolute delight to his teachers, and all who you will appoint to influence and enhance what you have put upon his heart. Father, keep the evil and evil one from distracting him, and presenting fleshly delights that would hinder his service to you. May each attempt by the adversary be a point of growth and be used to build structure and greater determination to acknowledge you in all his ways. Father, he has given us the situation with the parents and their daughter whom he is considering as perhaps a future mate and partner in your service. As this young man continues in your way, it is my prayer that you will guide each thought, each motive, and each direction that your will, your glory, your power be manifested to your praise. Amen

 

I am on my church pastoral prayer team, so consider you and your friend lifted up before the throne of grace now!

 

You are allowed to write, and I think it grand that you are going to another college to honor her parents.

Through your correspondence you will build true unity and grow together in spirit. If she is indeed the girl for you, the Lord will soften the heart of her mother in due time.

You will be glad you waited. You will be glad you submitted. God promises blessings for children who will truly honor their mothers and fathers.

 

Exactly how would such be determined as being God's will unless there is clear scripture on this and there is not? Since the scripture does not deal directly with this I would offer this. The scripture (NT) only says that we are to marry in the Lord and not be unequally yoked.

I would add this. Going against a parents counsel in this can add difficulties to a marriage. So if that is the case and unless the couple is willing to sacrifice that part of their relationship with the parents perhaps they should not marry less they add to the possibility of marriage difficulties.

 

Think in a general sense, they should seek and follow/heed parental consent, but remember when it was illegal to have black and white married, even if both were saved and serving the lord?

 

I am not sure how that has anything to do with the OP.

 

the OP seemed to me to be stating that unless the parents grant their approval, especially the father of the Bride, then should not get married, but my point here is that it cannot be true all the time in an absolute sense!

 

My parents speak to this OP!

Mother raised in a strict Weslyan home, no cards/dancing/dress to the ground etc, and Father had her reservedfor just a pastor/Missionary to come...

father met her in the hospital, recovering from near fatal car accident, and she was a vol nurse...

he was 30, she 19, and so they met for next couple of years when she went to town to get groceries for the family, taking in a local movie/ice cream parlor etc..

Also had common friend pass love letters back and forth...

Her Father found out, and forbid them to EVER see each other again, so they went off and eloped in middle of the night!

He was ahrad working GM foreman, who did not claim to be saved by God until end of His life, yet the Lord had them together 38 years, and raisinf their family, so He did seem to have a plan and purpose in all of this happening!

in the end, my father was saved by grace of God, my mother reconfirmed, and my grandparents thought she had made the right choice in a Guy neither were thrilled about at first!

 

problem with that view is that God was involved behind the scenes just getting them together, keeping them together, and establishing theirmarriage in order to adopt me and raise a family!

think the sovereignity of God is pretty plain in all of that!