Question about women's attire

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by le bel, Dec 12, 2005.

  1. le bel

    le bel
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    I will try to set this up as best as I can. I understand there are differing views on each side. My father, an IFB is very black or white. I lived with him during my last year in high school where he tried his hardest to implement sound principles and standards. Much of his efforts went unnoticed until after my husband and I married a year later.

    One of these "standards" were for me to wear dresses and skirts, at the time I had a problem with that. I enjoyed my worldly clothing, and didn't see a reason as to why I should let it go. At the beginning of my marriage I had a change of heart and changed out my wardrobe, and haven't looked back since.

    I have no problem wearing what I do. I greatly understand the principle behind it, just by experience, etc.

    Well, we have a one year old daughter and for the past year she wore only dresses and sleepers. We live in So Cal where the climate is fairly warm all year round, so super warm clothes were never a must. To keep her warm she'd be in a sleeper or wearing tights. There has never been a problem but now there is.

    We leave for Virginia on Saturday. It's been a great while since I've lived in ultra cold climates and know that it will be freezing there. I went searching for 'fall' dresses, well, the only thing I found was fancy/special occasion dresses not meant for everyday wear. So, what do I do? I asked my husband and he thought it'd be best to allow her to wear pants while in the colder climates, but will continue with her dress wearing during the other 3 seasons.

    My dad started with his diatribe when I brought this up and it's aggravating. Saying I shouldn't compromise, and so on. I want her to be warm, there's nothing careless about that choice. I understand it's a personal preference for some as long as it's worn modestly.

    I'm sure some can find scripture that is in support or against this very teaching.

    Any advice in dealing with this with my father?

    TIA.
     
  2. chipsgirl

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    I don't think there is scripture saying you HAVE to wear skirts. Correct me if I am wrong.

    Sweetie, you have to set a boundary with your father about raising your child. As long as you are providing her a Christian home full of values and love, that is all that matters.

    If you really want her in dresses, are longer knit dresses appropriate with leggings underneath instead of tights? What about courdoroy jumpers? There are plenty of play dresses out there that are not fancy.

    Praying you can find some peace on this matter.
     
  3. Songbird

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    Could you get her some warm tights or let her wear leggings under her dresses? Maybe some boots as well?

    My dh's former pastor's wife wore dresses long enough that she could wear leggings or sweats underneath her dresses.

    Hope that helps.
     
  4. Songbird

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    Chipsgirl and I are on the same wavelength! lol
     
  5. Karen

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    Sounds to me like there is a bigger issue, of which this is only a subset.
    Why did you bring it up to your father?
    You knew what he would say.

    Since you are married, and no longer in your father's household, it is up to you and your husband to decide. Sounds like your husband has a good plan.
    I expect there will be many issues that your husband and your father will disagree on.

    Karen
     
  6. le bel

    le bel
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    There's nothing against the wearing of dresses but it speaks of modesty. I've learned to distance myself from him as he's very much a legalist.

    He did mention leggings/thermal tights. I have to look into those. She received a lot of pant outfits for her birthday. We have tons of dresses, but most are too light for really cold weather. I've found that pants are much cheaper so I went ahead with that.

    Thanks!
     
  7. Johnv

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    This is not an issue of scripturally appropriate dress. This is an issue of local custom regarding attire. The people that decide appropriateness of attire for children are the parents, not the grandparents. Your father is making a mountain out of a molehill, and, to be frank, when it comes to parenting, he's overstepping his authority. He no longer has authority over you (you gave that to your spouse), and has no authority over your children.

    I fear that this might result in a battle of wits with him, but the fact is that his IFB rules on modesty are manmade, and your 1 year old child cannot be accused if immodesty even if she were running around the house naked.

    My suggestion would be to respectfully have a talk with your father and let him know what the custom of you and your hubby are. If it offends him, let him know that you and your hubby will happily stay in a hotel out of respect, rather than offend him. I suggest you do just that. Saving a few bucks in lodging often isn't worth the hassle, especially when it involves religious differences.
     
  8. le bel

    le bel
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    He asked about clothes she might need for the trip. He knew we didn't have a lot of warm clothes for her. I said pants were fine. I wanted to stand my ground and did. We have thick tights, but wanted to be on the safe side and requested pant outfits for her birthday.

    I know it will come up, but what is the best way, without debating Scripture to stand my ground? He's the sneaky type. She was wearing sweat pants in a picture once and he asked if it was cold outside. :rolleyes:

    I don't go looking for approval but topics come up about various things, and that's when he starts with his speech about "standards".
     
  9. le bel

    le bel
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    Thanks Johnv, that sounds about right. We're actually seeing DH's family. My dad lives in the Bay area. [​IMG]
     
  10. Johnv

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    Oops, I just assumed [​IMG]

    In that case, enjoy the trip, and don't worry about it. I would, however, have a talk with your father about the issue being decided between you and your hubby.
     
  11. Pastor Larry

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    I would start with Gen 2:24 where man leaves his father and mother and becomes one flesh with his wife. The principle there is that your left your father and mother and formed a new family with your husband. Your father no longer has any jurisdiction over you. You are to follow your husband now.

    Explain to him lovingly that you appreciate his influence over you over the years, but God has now placed you under the headship of another man who is responsible for you.
     
  12. Dr. Bob

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    You STILL have a lot of baggage, ma'am, if you look at dresses as "spiritual" and slacks as "worldly".

    There is NOT ONE VERSE OF SCRIPTURE to support such. If Dad pulls of the hackneyed Deut 22:5, go thru the chapter and find out if HE is obeying the whole list. What a laugh!!

    YOU must be convinced what you are doing (wearing, your daughter's attire, etc) meets the BIBLE standard of modesty and appropriateness. And yes, in winter outside of California/Florida, leggings, tights, slacks, etc make intelligent sense.
     
  13. PastorSBC1303

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    Amen Dr. Bob.
     
  14. Helen

    Helen
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    Sweetie, keep your baby warm and healthy, no matter how you do it. Very few baby boys are dressed in pink and frills, and lots of pants outfits and jackets are so equipped for the little ladies!

    In addition, a baby is not something about which we have to worry in the modesty department. Even a fully naked baby is not immodest! A bit of a danger, perhaps, but not immodest!
     
  15. Brother Ian

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    This is not really an issue your father needs to discuss with you. As John said, he has no authority over you, that transferred to your spouse at the wedding.

    You are still obligated to honor your father, but not obey.

    Modesty is very subjective. What I consider modest may not be what someone else considers modest.

    Many, many women wear pants and it has not affected their spiritual walk.
     
  16. le bel

    le bel
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    You STILL have a lot of baggage, ma'am, if you look at dresses as "spiritual" and slacks as "worldly".

    There is NOT ONE VERSE OF SCRIPTURE to support such. If Dad pulls of the hackneyed Deut 22:5, go thru the chapter and find out if HE is obeying the whole list. What a laugh!!

    YOU must be convinced what you are doing (wearing, your daughter's attire, etc) meets the BIBLE standard of modesty and appropriateness. And yes, in winter outside of California/Florida, leggings, tights, slacks, etc make intelligent sense.
    </font>[/QUOTE]Noo, I don't view slacks as worldly. Modest ones? No. I wore tight pants, skirts, tops, midriff bearing shirts in my teen years. That is what I was referring to. Early in my marriage my choice of slacks were pretty moest, certainly nothing compared to what I did wear before.

    I didn't know until recently that pants weren't UNspiritual.
     
  17. SaggyWoman

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    I have spiritual pants.
    I even have spiritual underwear.
     
  18. gekko

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  19. le bel

    le bel
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    Can you tell me where you bought these spiritual pants? [​IMG]
     
  20. gekko

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    yah. what brand are they?

    Abreadcrumb & Fish? hehehe...
     

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