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Sandra Day O'Connor

Discussion in '2007 Archive' started by TC2, Nov 13, 2007.

  1. TC2

    TC2 Member

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    Anyone hear about SDO'C this am on Google?
    It may have been on other news as well, not sure.
    Unfortunately, I have lost the link, as it's not being
    shown now.

    Basically, her husband has Alzheimer's, and is in a
    care home for others with this terrible disease.
    He has forgotten Sandra, his marriage, kids, ect.
    While in this home, he has become attached to another
    lady (also w/alzheimers) and she to him.
    They hold hands, and spend time together. O'Connors
    son gave a statement that Sandra would visit her husband,
    and sit on the porch with him and his 'girlfriend' (sons term)
    and visit. Sandra herself said she is happy that her
    husband has found some joy, and that it gives her peace
    as well.
    How do you feel about this? What would you do/act in
    response if it were your spouse?

    If anyone has a link, could you please post it?
    And if this needs to be moved, ditto, with my
    apologies.
     
  2. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    Here's the link. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,311556,00.html

    This is such a personal and private thing. I hate to see the media blab it all.

    Having seen more than one grandparent go through the trials of Alzheimer's, I would have to say that Mrs. O'Connor understands that he has not abandoned her. In fact, I dare say that he is not even aware that she ever existed.

    That would hurt more than seeing him find peace and solice with another person suffering from the same disease.

    I am sure that she is bearing as well as any spouse could.
     
    #2 Scarlett O., Nov 13, 2007
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2007
  3. TC2

    TC2 Member

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    Thank you Scarlett, for the link!
    I think the media put their lovely 'spin' on it with the
    'romance' comment. Just got to add something borderline
    to draw in the readers. Sad.
    On the one hand, I agree with the media staying out of
    their business, but the son did make a public statement
    on his family's behalf about this. So maybe this will bring
    more attention to the horrors of this hateful disease, and
    people will be more willing to support funding for treatment
    and a cure.
     
  4. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    Well, maybe you are right. I guess it is a prime example for all of us as to how ravaging this disease is.

    So many caretakers try to force the Alzheimer's patient into saying and thinking the "right" thing. They constantly correct them even though 10 seconds later they may not remember what you said.

    My aunt always tried to correct my grandmother when she made mistakes and she made a lot of them in her last years. I never got my aunt to understand that you just have to agree with everything they say or else you confuse them to the point of frustration and unhappiness.

    The only time that I ever corrected my grandmother was when she would start to cry and say, "I sent your grandfather to the store for some bread this morning and he hasn't come back. Why has he left me? Our babies are so little? Why has he left us?

    He had been dead for 25 years.

    I would tell her, "now Memaw, you know that Granddaddy is in heaven with Jesus." He never left you until Jesus came and took him home. She would be sad.....but relieved.

    Otherwise, it didn't matter what she said - I agreed with it all. It kept her at peace.



     
  5. Hopeful

    Hopeful New Member

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    I think SDO is expressing the true love of a truly loving wife. She is more concerned with her husband's welfare than with her own in this matter. She is wise enough to know that the man she married -- his mind and memories and love FOR HER are lost to him. Hopefully, Ms. O'Connor also has the more important knowledge that his SOUL is in God's hands--which WILL provide her comfort.

    My own hubby was showing the beginning stages of alzheimer's in the last couple of months before his death--that was a consequence of his earlier head injury, I believe. I also believe God spared both of us the horrors of a prolonged experience by taking my sweetie out of his earthly misery last year. I would also like to believe that I could have had the grace to deal with his worsening condition if I had been so required. I canNOT, however, even begin to imagine how to deal with it in full view of the public and press.
     
  6. Magnetic Poles

    Magnetic Poles New Member

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    It is a horrible thing to have to deal with this horrible disease. Ms. O'Connor is putting her husband's welfare above her own. I admire her for that. I will not criticize, as it is not mine with which to deal.
     
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