Secret crushes?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Wanderer, Feb 19, 2016.

  1. Wanderer

    Wanderer
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    Never mind, not ready to talk about it - other than is it normal to have then when married?
     
    #1 Wanderer, Feb 19, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2016
  2. Darrell C

    Darrell C
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    Not really, lol. While we might say, due to the weakness of the flesh, that it is normal that it happens, it is still trespassing in an area of adultery. While affection for someone other than our spouses might happen, when it is in a context of intimacy or desire as we share with our spouses...it is sin, and should be dealt with immediately before things get out of hand and something happens that I can assure you will be regretted.


    God bless.
     
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  3. Darrell C

    Darrell C
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    And I see you are from Alaska. I was stationed there with my step-dad 75-78 roughly. My sister is still in Anchorage, and complaining about no snow there this year (I think we have had more than they have).

    Welcome to the forum, Wanderer. I hope you will be blessed in your time here, and that you may be a blessing to those here.


    God bless.
     
  4. preachinjesus

    preachinjesus
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    Wanderer, I saw your original post, before the edit, and I will say, in reply to that and with this new edit in mind, you need to sit down with someone, a pastor preferably, and discuss your situation. We all struggle with temptations, particularly when expectations in relationships aren't being met. Having someone in real life who you can talk to will be mightily helpful.
     
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  5. Rolfe

    Rolfe
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    Guard your mind with all diligence.
     
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  6. Aaron

    Aaron
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    Yes, it's normal. So, no, you're not a perv simply because you find yourself enamored with someone. Simply confess with your mouth what most church-going men try to deny, that your heart is corrupt and adulterous. Agree with Jesus and ask Him to help you.

    If you keep in the forefront of your mind, that whatever satisfaction you think your crush can supply is an illusion, and that once gotten it is soon hated, it's easier.

    Maybe the attraction isn't physical. Maybe the marriage is bad. Then your crush is the least of your worries. Seek counseling. Ask God to send the counselor, because a lot of what I hear pass as Christian counseling is pig vomit.

    Anyway. You're not a perv, and you're not alone. So don't screw up.
     
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  7. Aaron

    Aaron
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    I should have read the other replies before I replied.

    Yeah, Wanderer. If your marriage is bad, then the crush is simply the fruit. I don't want to assume too much. Ask God to send the counselor. I hope both parties are willing to seek counseling. (And it's no shame.)
     
  8. Internet Theologian

    Internet Theologian
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    Putting it in biblical language, it is called 'the lust of the flesh'. Don't let it destroy you, and it will if you give in. Read Proverbs 6 & Proverbs 7.
     
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  9. th1bill

    th1bill
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    At seventy-one and only saved when forty-five and having spent way to much time in front of idol seeking women, I have been there and let me eplain what I found.

    I had married 3 women before my conversion and with each te labor required to overcome the results of the previous marriage(s) became progressively more difficult.

    As preferred by our LORD forgiveness is much better than divorce. You will carry all of the Trash accumulated in your first marriage into the second one because you are a man, just like the rest of us. Please, in the name of our God I ask you, begin to heal what you contracted, before God, to do and live in the Joy only God can bestow.
     

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